Having an affair with the best friend how do i end it or what do i do?

[Whattodoornottodo]

My partner and i are together for almost 13 years now we are not married and dont have any children,I met him and his  friend the same time. lately the friend started to come on to me he tells me he has feelings for me and that he wants to be with me and i should mention that i liked this friend for a while already we started hanging out together and do things that couples do. We did not sleep together though, but i feel i want to be with this guy he is the exact opposite from my partner, full of live joyful fun to be around, I know what we are doing is wrong in every way but how do i end it, i don't want to hurt my partner as he was always just good to me and he always looked after me and give me every thing i need. I love my partner and care for him very much but i cant stop thinking about the friend i told him that i always liked him and he told me the same but he said that he never thought that i would be intrested in him. I feel that me and the friend got more in common than me and my partner. please i need advice    

[Nighthawk61]

Is it your choice not to be married and have a family?

[specialmom]

I hope you come back whattodoornottodo.  We're here to help.  We all understand how these things happen---- and want the best for you and your future.  good luck

[Wondergirl1991]

Trust me if he's capable of being disloyal to his friend he will do the same to you! You'll never be able to trust him.. The grass always seems greener on the other side but in reality it isn't! In life we sometimes want what we don't have, we get bored of what we've got now and being with someone new can be exciting but it doesn't stay 'new' for long... a decent man doesn't try stealing his friend partner.. remember that.

[dominosarah]

This is a set up for disaster.  Affairs dont end well.  I know the grass looks greener on the other side right now but trust me this isnt reality.  We put on blinders and only see what we want to see.  I have been in this situation.  Yes it is exciting and you feel like you have met your prince charming but trust me that isnt the case.  Never again would i become someones mistress and that is just what we become.  Please respect yourself and put an end to this.  You deserve better.  Fertilize your own back yard and make that grass even greener~

[specialmom]

The problem with affairs and things like this is that they aren't real life.  Your partner is not joyful all the time and trust me, neither is this guy when he's paying bills, dealing with day to day stuff, etc.  You just don't see the friend like that because you aren't in REAL life with him like you are your partner.  So, the fantasy of what it is like with him is tantalizing when it probably isn't what it would really be like.  

And there is the obvious pit falls of if this does happen . . .  neither of you would trust the other fully because you know cheating is something that CAN happen.  That if you bring a good looking girlfriend around this guy, maybe he'll 'like her' and start talking to her behind your back.  And he'll always wonder that about you.  So, starting anything under these circumstances is almost doomed to fail.

And the black cloud of it all starting this way also puts a ngative spin on anything you two could ever have.  

It's never a good idea to go from one guy to the next.  And it sounds like you'd like a little more from your current man.  How about working on that and see if you can spice it up with him.  If you can't, then consider leaving. But not to be immediately with someone else or his friend.  To be on your own and grow from the experience so you get the RIGHT guy next time (which we don't typically find while IN a relationship).  

The guy who is friends with your man has low integrity.  He's not much a friend, is he?  Keep that in mind.  

You can do better than him.  Put him out of your mind as someone that stabs his buddy in the back and tries to mess up a home.  good luck