thanks to judy,whala and treazzure007 for your kind words.......iam feeling a lot better trust me....i was at a loss for a while but now everything seems fine.....iam pursuing my MTech for the time being and i keep myself busy in my subjects......regards....
Yes - I have the same idea with the two above comments. For the time being you need to stop thinking about him even if you receive any positive signal. This kind of personality has "unreal self confidence". It takes time for them to grow up and if you leave such unmature person you don't lose anything. Of course it is very difficult for you since you have hurted emotions but once you find yourself independent, you will see that your peace, your self cofidence and your personality has improved so much. Try to love yourself more. Wear beautiful cloths, go for sport in nice weather, eat what you enjoy, pass your time with positive friends and who make you laugh, start your post graduation studies or try a new job...you will find that your world is so beautiful and is more worthy. After that you can judge yourself, you will see a lot of people meanwhile and you can see if there are matured guys around who can give real peace, understanding, love, joy and happiness. Don't close your eyes on the reality for the time being, if it is a true love, it will come back to you :-) don't try to protect yourself in a new relation, be in friends community but not have personal relations for a while :-)
Be positive and try to enjoy your youth, the time that you are so beautiful and attractive for any young man.
4 years was a long time to be dating someone as young as you both were. i feel you're a bit more ready and willing to be involved in a serious long term romance while he's not as mature. he's not on that level which is the case w/ most young guys. that's why he's back and forwards, in and out. if he was a mature young man, you'd likely be the woman he'd want to settle down with, but that's not happening now. you never know if it'll ever happen, that's why you have to move forward w/ your life as if it never will.
the good news is, if you 2 ended it on a good note with wishing each other farewell, leave it at that b/c that's good. if this love is meant to be, one day you'll cross paths and he may be a completely different man that you'll notice right away. a mature man you could possibly strike up a new relationship or even romance with (i'v witnessed this happen w/ so many of the guys i knew from highschool and college. they do grow up!)
not to brag, but i have even had the guys who were, years ago, complete jocks w/ egos the size of the universe come looking for me when we were all grown up! here they were looking for the girl they called lovey-dovey and lame (only to find i was engaged or married myself lol). that's just the way these things work out it seems so good luck w/ your journey
Hi, reading your post was difficult because of the "short hand", so we would appreciate if you would respond without all the shorthard...it's just easier to read thanks.
I think that you are codependent on someone who is not returning the same love. If he loved you he would have never broken up with you and it's time to learn copeing skills to deal with this dysfunctional relationship and start learn how to move forward with your life. You start by accept the reality of the situation that he wants out of the relationship, which mean he is just not "in" love with you and I understand how painful and hurtful this is for you since you have developed strong feelings for him.
It also serves no purpose to get into a relationship with someone who has already proposed marriage when you don't love him or know him at all. I think that's crazy to propose without knowing you. Here is what I suggest for you:
* Accept what you can not change. The relationship has always been dysfunctional
and he shows signs that although he might care and love you, he is not "in" love
with you, so accept this and begin the stages of healing a broken heart and
move forward.
* A broken relatinship is a loss, like the death of a loved one where you have to take
time to grieve and there is no time frame on how long you grieve, everyone grieves
differently, BUT not let your emotions get to the point where they are dibilitating and
not facilitative where you can function like a human being.
* Stop all communication with him. Even if it means changing your phone, putting away
pictures until you are able to view them again in time. Informing all friends and
relatives that the relationship is over and you will need their support and not bring
him up in conversation or ask question either.
* Take quite time for just you. Get to know yourself again. Take time to just think
and re-evaluate you status, new beginning, direction and new focus.
* Surround yourself with family, good friends, focus on your career. Start something
new in your life, excersing, running, jogging, bike riding, go for your Ph.D., keep
active, eat properly, go shopping, treat yourself to a spa, but take care of you.
* Counseling if necessary. If you don not have the copeing skills, then I recommend
that you seek a counselor through the school or private to help you understand
your emotions and help you develope the necessary copeing skills needed
to confront every day life situations and struggles. I wish you the best and yes,
you can do this and when you least expect it, Mr. Wonderful will be right around
the corner, just waiting to meet you. It will happen naturally, but in the mean time
take care of the self. Judy