falling for a friend

[mandee21]

Back In November i met this guy who i worked with a short time.   ( we don't work together anymore) I fell for him as soon as we met. At the time i had a boyfriend so we agreed to be just friends. We talked often on the phone, we texted and we hung out once in a while. He has given me hints that he does like me more than a friend. Two week ago my boyfriend and I broke up. The guy i like is the first one i told now we talk & hang out more. Last week we kissed for the first time! we hold hands when were together we sit in his car and talk for hours. He's amazing and i liked him from the start ! I am falling for him so hard. I know its to soon but i really want to be in a relationship with him! I'm so over my ex i don't think about him.

Now heres the problem he tells me he likes him, holds my hand, kisses me and all but he tells me hes to busy to have a relationship ( hes starting police academy next month). Is he leading me on? Should i talk about a relationship or just keep it going and see where it goes? He knows i like him I have told him that and he tells me he likes me to. I used to call him everyday but now since we seem to get closer i backed off and waiting for him and he could go days without texting or calling me! I haven't heard from him today. Is it ok for me to call him? Hes on my mind all day everyday its crazy i feel like im back in jr.high but this is what hes doing to me. What do i do?

[freespirit78]

It appears this guy is not leading you on as he has said to you he is not wanting a relationship. I know from personal experience that it is very difficult to be freinds with someone you have strong feelings for.
I think it may be time for you to face up to what is really going on here, that you are hoping that things will progress into a relationship but that this does not seem to be going to happen.
In my opinion and I know this will be very difficult , you need to stay away from him untill you can deal with the fact that he is not looking for a relationship, spend time with your friends and do things to occupy your time. I am afraid that you will get badly hurt if you continue on the road you are on.
As the old saying goes "If you love someone, set them free and if they come back to you , its meant to be"
good luck.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, I think he is being honest with you.  He is stating that at this time, he likes hanging with you but is not looking to be in a committed relationship.  I don't think he is leading you on becaue he is telling you this upfront.  If you choose to ignore it and get hurt---------- that would not be his fault but yours.  

Sometimes it is worth the risk, though, of hurt feelings.  If you are enjoying yourself---------  continue seeing him.  I would pull back and not call/text so often and allow him to do so also at his own pace which is slower than what you like or are used to.  During that time, you can look at your last relationship and what went wrong, do things you enjoy doing that don't involve a guy you date, hang out with friends and build those relationships stronger, etc.  Even date someoen esle if you if are asked out by someone interesting.

Because he is being up front and telling you that he wants to see you casually without strings.  You can't tie strings to him or he will untie them and go the other direction.

If you aren't the casual dating (and it may or may NOT go somewhere in the future)------  then this isn't the guy for you.  
good luck