Aa
Really mad at husband
This morning I received an email from one of my husband and I's credit card companies. We share an account so whenever there is an unusual purchase we both receive an email about it. Now onto the email. Apparently my husband spent $76 on some webcam video from a sex site while i happened to be in the shower getting ready for work. I know it was a sex site because i checked out the site and the video number that was given to me. Apparently my husband had watched a LIVE webcam of one specific woman and paid $76 for watching for around 20 mins, about the entire time I was in the shower. I am really really angry and hurt by this. I was in the shower, I wasn't in a rush or anything I had actually woken up early so there was plenty of time for him to come to me if he was horny. I just feel so hurt and it really bothers me that this was a live show. even though i know this woman couldn't see him, it like all i can think is that this woman and my husband were both pleasuring themselves at the same time and that feels like he cheated on me. Just the fact that it was a live show and he wouldn't have watched it for that long without doing something for pleasure you know. i feel like he turned away from me and paid this other woman to get him off. i know that's a little irrational but that's how I feel. I'm completely upset and insulted over this! I don't mind him watching porn or looking at a porno mag if i'm not in the mood or something but the fact that he didn't come to me first when he was horny and was watching someone live in order to get off makes me so upset and uncomfortable. And that he PAID to do this. I don't get it. He can go and pay $76 to watch some woman play with herself but he gets mad at me for spending what he feels is too much buying groceries?? If i go out and buy anything he looks over the receipt and he'll get mad at me and complain about half the stuff I bought, but yet he can go and spend $76 on a FREAKING PORNO?????? WTH?
I'm just so upset and don't even know what to say to him about this. It makes me feel undesired and sickened and insulted and completely p*ssed off! i don't know if I'm just overreacting or what but I am so mad right now and I don't know how to talk to him about this rationally and calmly once we both get home.
I'm just so upset and don't even know what to say to him about this. It makes me feel undesired and sickened and insulted and completely p*ssed off! i don't know if I'm just overreacting or what but I am so mad right now and I don't know how to talk to him about this rationally and calmly once we both get home.
Just stay calm. Say...I see you spent $76 on the webcam site, then show him the sexy outfit/heels you bought for $76 to go out with your girls Saturday night. He responds to action!
Just stay calm. Say...I see you spent $76 on the webcam site, then show him the sexy outfit/heels you bought for $76 to go out with your girls Saturday night. He responds to action!
WOW, number one take a step back.
Remember he is human and as a male of our society, he probably is looking for another form of release. He may have watched someone else, and even if he masturbated to it, he isn't going off and finding another woman to have sex with. He's faithful, but still wishing for that harem.
You could be all pissed off about this and blow it out of proportion, essentially driving him off into another woman's arms who might get it, or you might casually ask him about it, and express a little interest.
Some men are so ashamed of their enjoyment of porn, they hide it, like your husband, and watch when the woman isn't around. Perhaps you should express some interest in this fancy, he will willingly come and ask if you would like to watch with him instead of hide it and make odd purchases...
I found this out with my husband, who was freaked out when I caught him masturbating to some porn when he thought I was still asleep. Instead of losing my mind, I walked up to him, told him to put it back on and wiggled under his desk. Since that incident and a few other like it, he often eagerly waits for me to come home to plop on some strange armature videos.
Embrace your man in his ways, or some other woman will. Keep calm and play on.
Remember he is human and as a male of our society, he probably is looking for another form of release. He may have watched someone else, and even if he masturbated to it, he isn't going off and finding another woman to have sex with. He's faithful, but still wishing for that harem.
You could be all pissed off about this and blow it out of proportion, essentially driving him off into another woman's arms who might get it, or you might casually ask him about it, and express a little interest.
Some men are so ashamed of their enjoyment of porn, they hide it, like your husband, and watch when the woman isn't around. Perhaps you should express some interest in this fancy, he will willingly come and ask if you would like to watch with him instead of hide it and make odd purchases...
I found this out with my husband, who was freaked out when I caught him masturbating to some porn when he thought I was still asleep. Instead of losing my mind, I walked up to him, told him to put it back on and wiggled under his desk. Since that incident and a few other like it, he often eagerly waits for me to come home to plop on some strange armature videos.
Embrace your man in his ways, or some other woman will. Keep calm and play on.
I dunno guys! Parental Controls! He is a man not a child and has choices. May as well find out what those choices are gonna be, you cannot control someone like that and nor should you? Ya think? Seriously!
I just want to second what heatherlynn said about parental controls. I am the primary user on our computer, and i created my kids' accounts AND my hubby's to block any questionable websites (violence, porn, chat rooms, etc.) Works for me! My DH rarely uses the computer, but when he does, I don't need to worry at all. = )
p.s. I'm not sure he even knows i set it up this way. or if he is wondering "WTH is wrong w/this computer?!?"LOL
p.s. I'm not sure he even knows i set it up this way. or if he is wondering "WTH is wrong w/this computer?!?"LOL
There is something about the smell of a shopping mall that always makes me feel better. :)
oh multiples are good. definitely go with new purses!! you can NEVER have to many purses! you should buy a nice new winter jacket as well. it should be getting cold soon ya know. lol.
Youre not over reacting, id be super p*ssed and hurt!
I do understand what your saying teko. We have both discussed it in the past, and I have told him that i don't see a problem with it, if say we watch it together or if I'm not available I don't have any problems with him watching it. But i was so upset because I WAS available and he has never previously actually paid for porn, he always downloaded one or two free from the internet. We share all of the credit cards and the debit card so if he does this again I will know about it as we both have equal access to the accounts. He has agreed not to do this kind of live webcam anymore and we have gone over again what we both feel is ok with pron watching. We have always had pretty good communication that's one of the reason I was so mad that i had to find out from the credit card company about this.
He and you as a couple are paying 76.00 plus interest to have his sexual needs satisfied! And on top of that you get to pay interest for putting it on a card. I would be mad too. This is one of those things that happens once you say ok to that forbidden trunk of toys and foreplay, beit porn mags, movies or whatnot. If you are ok with watching porn, you cannot cry fowl now. Where are the boundaries? Once you go there, there are no boundaries. He would be eating that 76.00 for dinner for a month. Problem is, if he really liked it, he will do it again but will just make sure you dont know about it. This is why I feel like the whole subject should be off limits in committed relationships. Just causes bad feelings and lies that never end. Till the relationship does.
Sure Judy come along! You want some new clothes? He'll buy lol Oh i just feel so much better getting all this out and plus I get to go shopping which i have neglected for the past month or so! My favorite store is having a sale so what a perfect time for him to f up!
I'm off to blow some cash, wish me luck!
I'm off to blow some cash, wish me luck!
I think you are GREAT! Can I go shopping with you? We can use his credit card (lol)!
p.s. throw in a new outfit and 2 pairs of shoes....on him!
p.s. throw in a new outfit and 2 pairs of shoes....on him!
Hun, you are thinking to small lol. I am buying MULTIPLE outfits and matching shoes(possible new purse too?) screw how much it is, I make the money too I can spend whatever the hell i want since he seems to think he can too!
I feel better already, and there were so many cute outfits when i was looking the store over online :)
I feel better already, and there were so many cute outfits when i was looking the store over online :)
buy a new outfit AND new shoes.
There isn't a video. He watched a live show of the woman and there is no copy of the show or anything or else I would have taken it and destroyed it. Anyway I talked to him about it last night and he admitted he did it. And when i bitched because it was $76 and he could have came to me when he was horny or need be just watched a regular free porno his excuse was that he had just wanted to try something different and that he hadn't expected "it" to take so long and didn't realize how long and how much it actually cost. I'm still very upset and mad at him and told him everything i felt and he seems apologetic. He knows there will be hell to pay if he does it again(and there will!!)
But on the plus side, there is a sale today so I'm going shopping and for once I'm not even going to think about what I'm spending! Obviously if he can spend $76 on a webvideo then we have enough money to get me some needed new clothes, at least that's what i'm thinking. And he can F off if he has a problem with it i've needed some new clothes for awhile :)
But on the plus side, there is a sale today so I'm going shopping and for once I'm not even going to think about what I'm spending! Obviously if he can spend $76 on a webvideo then we have enough money to get me some needed new clothes, at least that's what i'm thinking. And he can F off if he has a problem with it i've needed some new clothes for awhile :)
I would ABSOLUTELY confiscate the webcam, since he has proven to be untrustworthy, communicate cate with him and find out why he is behaving in this manner in his marriage, go shopping anyway and if this ever happen again, leave him.
I don't see the value in confiscating the web cam... he'll just find some other pornographic way to jerk ***. Anyway, tell him that, for now on, you don't want
to hear any more of his c r a p whenever you go out and buy something.
to hear any more of his c r a p whenever you go out and buy something.
do you have parental controls on the computer? if you do (or even if you don't you can buy programs...where i'm not sure...but you can) set controls that ban or forbid the use of x rated websites. it should be password set so pick a password and refuse to give it to your dh. like the others said if he wants to be immature and act like a child by hiding what he did treat him like a child and "take away his toy".
i'd be beyond p!ssed if dh paid even $5 for a porn when he has a perfectly good wife to have sex with. even if i wasn't in the mood.....no. bad bad bad!
have you confronted him about this? if not...do it. ask him about it. if he denies it bring up the email. he can't hide from it. you have proof.
i'd be beyond p!ssed if dh paid even $5 for a porn when he has a perfectly good wife to have sex with. even if i wasn't in the mood.....no. bad bad bad!
have you confronted him about this? if not...do it. ask him about it. if he denies it bring up the email. he can't hide from it. you have proof.
I agree with judy 246, just like a child take the toy away from him, he can't be trusted
p.s.confiscate the webcam video, he is no longer to keep it in his posession.
I would be furious, too. You are NOT over-reacting. Do not let this go, let him know that you know and that you are very upset. Don't hold back, he *needs* to know how angry and hurt you are. Good luck, hon.
Take a big breath :)....You are absolutely correct and have every reason to be pist-off at the man. If they were both materbating over this webcam, it is infidelity and since he is married, adultery. If a married man, looks at another woman with desire, considered adultery. Some people might say there is no harm in this, but I'm from the old school and this is cheating! AND he paid $76, it's offensive and insulting Honey..I'm with you on this one!
I would confront him and tell him what you found and it's unexceptable behavior on his part (seaky too). Give him the benefit of the doubt and hear what he has to say, before you take the next step. Good luck
I would confront him and tell him what you found and it's unexceptable behavior on his part (seaky too). Give him the benefit of the doubt and hear what he has to say, before you take the next step. Good luck
I cant say i blame you for being mad, and i can think of no excuse for him, but as how to approach him, i cant even think of a way i would feel as you do luck jo
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