this might be stupid but..

[dayan8]

ive been with my husband for 2 years an half, and we had big problems with fb when we was getting to know etch other soo i deleted mine but he didnt delete his but he said he didnt get on okay w.e i believed him,... i got pregnant now i have a baby boy that was born on july 4, and today i got on my moms friends fb and saw he had another fb page and his ex was writing on his damn page and **** and i got pissed the **** off cuz he liked to me for a year!! and hes telling me aint gonna delete it im not his mom i have no write,... like right nowim chill cuz im with my baby, but i know if he wasnt at work i would try to kill him, u know how bad i feel that he has his ex writting on his page, you should never do that to your girl and lie about not having fb omg idk wat imma do when he gets home i just cant stop crying cuz he mad me feel like **** when i told him i knew he had fb. :'(and never told me,... he said if he knew i was gonna be this way he would of never gone out with me in the 1st place.

[nursegirl6572]

I agree tink!

You will always have the people who use it for drama and stuff, but it IS a nice way to keep in touch with people, and I think the majority of mature adults uses it normally.

I have a couple people on my FB friends list who are a bit into drama, but they mostly post rants and such, more self embarrassing stuff, lol.  Most others just post updates, pics of their friends, families, etc.

Like most anything, there are pros and cons, but I do agree with you that FB itself isn't inherently bad.  I wish *I* was the one to think of it though!  LOL

[TTinKKerBBell]

I don't see FaceBook as the problem here.  FaceBook isn't harmful.  People are.

Someone who is going to 'misbehave' in a Marriage will find a way to do that, with or without FaceBook.  It's a matter of Character, Morals and Standards and I don't think FaceBook "changes" one's Character.  That being said, I'm not into FaceBook personally, but I can see it as a perfectly harmless way to stay in touch with long distance friends and relatives.  If one is not of a mind(character) to be unfaithful, no amount of FaceBook will change that - and if someone IS going to be unfaithful, well,  they don't need FaceBook.  

[Londres70]

FB?......Uggg.  Hubby and I don't do FB or any of these social network thingamagigs.  

Well....have you had any other issues in the past with him lying?  

His attitude about not deleting that account doesn't sound good on your behalf whatsoever.

Have a chat with him about this (when you are calm of course) and see what he says.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, i feel thinking about an ex is on the mind of most people. Esp with the one who got dumped. Lets face it, alot of things were shared and very intimate moments and exes are part of our psyci. When people break up they both are left with many unanswered questions and often we dream of the past.

Its absolutly not ok that he is in contact with her or lieing to you. I feel part of his defensiness is that he got caught and will say anything to justify it much like a child does when getting caught.

Have a sit down talk with him about putting the past behind you and have a fresh start. Tell him how you feel and if he loves  you, he will understand. Tell him you love him and want only the best for him and the baby but he has to make a decision that you are the only girl that should be in his life

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well first, don't try to kill him.  LOL   Not worth going to jail over!!  (I know it was a figure of speech but just don't let it get to the level of massive blow up fight or rage).

I certainly understand how you feel and would be super ticked off too to be honest.  For a couple of reasons--- A.  he lied.  What was so important that he had to lie.  B.  He had you delete yours yet he has one.  C. he is friends with his ex and they are communicating.  and D.  he was not sensitive to how you might feel and pushed back when you asked him about this.  

Yes, I can see why you are upset.

I personally LOATHE facebook.  My husband and I don't use it.  It has caused so many problems in relationships for people that it just isn't worth it.  Lots of people do use it though.  I think it can work if a couple is on the same page about it.  If his ex having access bothers you, that he block her so she can't go to his page or even see it.  You can block someone and they don't even know what happened.  They can never find the page at all again when they search.  Both partners have to have full access to the other's page.  Now personally, if I had to scout out my husband's page like a private detective to see what he was up to, this would probably drive me insane.  I'm not into that at all.  But if I were told I couldn't look or lied to that it even existed, well . . .  that would be a BIG statement about what my husband valued and it wouldn't be open communication with me, his wife and mother of his children.

So, my point is, I hear ya.  I agree with you.  Now you have to figure out what to do.

It is NOT worth breaking up over.  Or having a raging, volatile fight over.  It's worth examining what is going on with him.  Why he lies casually to you and comfortably.  And why he doesn't think you have any right to have feelings about his communication with his ex.  These are questions you can pose to him but in a calm way that really wants to seek information.  You need to know what the heck he thinks this relationship is and what he wants out of it and from you.  How are you supposed to feel seeing that he's lied to you all this time and then when you bring it to his attention, he reacts with the all to clichéd "you're not my mom".  Of course you aren't his mom, you're his girlfriend and mother of his child.  You have a right to have feelings in how he treats you and what he does and a relationship is a two way street.  

So, I would talk to him calmly seeking information.  What does he want?  What is his idea of trust?  What does he think your role is?  And after you've heard, absorbed, and thought about it---  you can tell him how you feel, what you want, and ask him to be more of a true partner.  If he won't, you'll then have to decide if this will work out or not.  good luck dear