'Elusive, yet I only get to see her once a week. Sunday, time very limited.'

[Hehayo]

Good-day all,

      Topic: Elusive, yet I only get to see her once a week. Sunday, time very limited.

      (little)Background or general idea about the question: For a couple of months, we dated. . . after about, I don't know. . . 3-6 months.  We became "it", "official", "exclusive".  During the dating-period, I often got a chance to visit her during weekdays and weekends.  You know, just typical-random-visit-days, little-how-are-you-days,k whatcha-doin'-days.  

      I understand if she's dating other guys to, some people do that, pickin' someone who's better. So, I didn't really mind if she was also dating some other guys but my main concern was, that immediately when (I guess, she chose me cause according to a lot of people I'm a "prize to be won" (not braggin', I'm no Brad Pitt (just average Joe))) we became "official".  Her whole tone towards me changed, she became unreachable, as in, I couldn't visit anymore/anytime I wanted, unlike before.  I mean, being now-then official, I would think that I now had a right to visit her more often than I use to.  You know, I wanted to know her more.

       Every time I would call her on the phone saying, "Let's hang out" "I'm free, this M/T/W/TH/F/SAT. I wanna spend some time with you. (^,^)" and she'd say, "NO.  I'm busy"  and I'm like (to myself), "Busy, how the #@$% is she busy. . . when we were dating she had a whole-lot-of-free-time-for-me! ".  

        I started to get suspicious. . .  (I mean, who wouldn't be, right?!!  I mean, you're "official" and there's NOW a #@%@-ing time schedule issue!) that even though we're official she's 'still' seeing other guys, and not just seeing... also doing things with those guys (yes, plural, not singular).  I had an extreme suspicion, not less but a suspicion that she was a complete (excuse me) nymph.  I never really got to prove that, but, I had my suspicions because. . . from the first time I kissed her it was amazing, absolutely amazing then it became, tasteless, repetitive, then even more tasteless, and now-then I was getting this painful thing in my stomach after I kissed her, ah, I get weak, dizzy, nauseous and generally just weak, not that weak but weak.  It'll take me an hour or so before I regain my thing. . .

         My understanding is; when you're "official" and already said the "L-word" that there shouldn't been a #%@*-ing time issue!  So, anyway. . . after about 16-or-so-"official" days I just got tired of trying to get some free time with her $@#%-ing busy schedule and decided to break up with her.

       Now, my question is: do you think I did the right thing? (Lol, I think I just need(ed) some closure on this :P)  I mean, you're "official" already said the "L-word" and now-then there's a #@%$-ing time schedule.


Typical(I think)-nice-clueless-guy,
-Hehayo

PS: If you're curious about that "first time I kissed her it was amazing, absolutely amazing then it became, tasteless, repetitive, then even more tasteless".  According to my father (who according to my mother was a complete, if not totally "hunk" at highschool & college, very athletic, 6-packed abs guy, muscular, had girls chasing him ) said (****, I don't really remember what he fully-told me, I'll try), "I once tried an experiment. Between an average girl and a prostitute, on kissing.  Average girl = with taste  - - - - Prostitute = totally tasteless".  There's noone I trust more with my life than my father, mind you!

PS: I'd just like to say that I('ll) appreciate (hopefully) any comments, good/bad on this.  I just think I need some kind of closure about this, and also I have already broken up with this person.  Also, I realize that this is probably a very common question but, I'm rather a clueless guy when it comes to relationships so, (^,^), I will appreciate any remarks.  I'm just your ordinary, good guy.  Just a simple guy, trying to get by.  

PS: Occupations are not included and so are other things, main question is about, love-life.

[Hehayo]

Stupid typos!

Anyway, I forget to say, 'Thank you' for the replies. (^.^)  "Good Christian" :P

[Hehayo]

Sammy73:  No, she wouldn't tell me why she won't let me see her. It was just annoying.  All I kept hearing at the other end of the line was, "no".  Nothing about work or anything. . .  I didn't understand, and I just had enough. . . (-.-).  There's a LIMIT to my patience and/or understanding.

Judy246:  Yeah, I agree.  Totally "disgusting" but he did do that according to him.  I will never try something like that. . . if my major was Physiology, maybe but it wasn't so.  Yeah. . . (^,^)

Beargizmo : Yeah.  I am definitely, we're definitely staying "broken up".  I just thought, cause at first she seemed really nice, timid, sweet and attractive.  She had like this itch about her, you know.  Anyway. . . thanks for the comment.

May I just say that, I'm a good Christian.  I mean, #@%% if I was in this for the sex. . . I wouldn't mind an open relationship (like that episode at Friends with Chandler dating this absolutely exotic babe!  Except she wasn't that tall, nor exotic but she had appeal for sure. I think, it was, The one with the butt), I mean this girl was tight.  But, I'm not that kind of guy.  Alright?  I'm good Christian, who just wants a decent, committed, truthful relationship.

(^,^), anyway my decision is finally.  Though, it's still kinda weird that I still 'sometimes' she her at church.  *laughs*, excuse me, I have a strange feeling that this babe is in, excuse me, heat.  I met her at church. . . she was this timid, cute, totally sexy babe when I met her.  As I got to know her more and became closer to her. *laughs*, her tone changed, she became more aggressive.  I was like, "Whoa!  What happened to the timid girl that I met?! (o.0)"  *laughs*, I have never really understand/stood this. . . even when I was in school.  

I noticed that when a girl (some girls) seems to like a guy she/they act(s) all nice and timid, and sometimes that particular girl stays that way.  Which is nice, cause it's real, you know...  But sometimes, that "particular girl" can also be, ah, well she was timid at first but then she like mutates (:P) and her whole personality changes.  It was like that particular girl had some kind of agenda.  Never really understood that.

[jo929]

she really was playing the field, and she was not right for you, she was using you, and you did the right thing  i think Beargizmo had it right find a better girl one that will treat you right. luck  jo  

[sammy73]

I guess you did the right thing.  If this sort of behaviour was bugging you worse and worse, it'd probably never have got better, so it would have been bound to end sooner or later.

Did she give any reason why she was so busy?  Could she have just been particularly busy at work?  It does happen in some jobs, you get a few months you have to work a lot of overtime, and when you are finished you are worn out and just want to crash out for an hour or two before bed, don't have the time or energy to spend with someone and try and be jolly and fun for them.

Regardless of that, it does sound like she wasn't as committed to the relationship as you were, if you do really like someone you make the effort to find time to spend with them.

As for whether she was still seeing other guys behind your back, I really wouldn't want to speculate.

[Judy246]

Jim (LOL)...anyway ya wana look at it, it's service for hire....a no,no.

[megochick101]

OMG Jim your comment just made me laugh as that's exactly what i was thinking!! HAHA

Ok well let me say first and foremost, you made the right move breaking it off with her, as you never even had a relationship to begin with. There was no exclusiveness at all. Exclusive is when you ONLY see each other, not when one partner goes out with anything that has a penis. (sorry) It's seems weird to em that you said you were ok with her dating otehr guys? Which also leads me to believe that you didn't even want a relationship with her, because if you did you wouldn't have been ok with her doing that

I would move on and forget her.

[PromisedLand]

either that or the term "prostitute" just may be accurate..I'd probably use "call girl" or "escort"


Jim

[Judy246]

sorry, typo, "You don't want to know where "her" mouth has been"....refering to the prostitute.

[Judy246]

Hi!  I think you are confused on what you really want in the relationship. You are not exclusive if you turn around and tell her it's ok to date other people. By telling a potential mate that it's ok to date other people, it's more like an open relationship and leaves the door opened to all types of problems, for example, infidelity and potential STD's, HIV and anything else that is out there. You are putting yourself at risk with an open relationship and I just have to say, this kissing a prostitute is discusting! You don't know where he mouth has been and I'm sure it's been around, so stay away from them completely!

I think you are still young enought to simply go out there have a good time and date, until you find someone with shared values and compatibility. Just date and when the right one comes along, you will know and it will happen naturally...Good luck Judy

[PromisedLand]

you broke up?   seems to me you should stay that way...this gal has some sort of problem.



Jim

[Hehayo]

I forgot to mention that I was her 19th boyfriend.  Hence, when I mentioned "Yes. Plural, not singular".

Lol, sorry if it's too long.  I did try to shorten it.  (^,^)