Aa
Should I end it? If so, how do I do it?
I'm hoping someone can help me...although I know it's only me who can get to the bottom of this. Here it goes. This is very hard for me but I don't want to hurt anymore and I definitely don't want to hurt my girlfriend anymore. We've dated 7 years - 7 beautiful years. The problem is we've grown apart and it seems like we're more like friends than in a real relationship. In fact, sadly I've cheated on her and I hate myself everyday for it...the problem is I can't stop and don't know that I ever will. I thought for sure that I wanted to marry her and I know I'm only lying to myself and her at the same time. The problem is I can't break up with her...it's like I'm so selfish and I just keep her around. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of change, or afraid to hurt her or that I'll never find love again...I just know that something is not right in our relationship anymore. I love her to death but I don't think I'm IN LOVE with her anymore. I just don't feel the same way that I used to feel but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I don't know what's wrong with me. She deserves better than me? She deserves someone who should love her the way she deserves to be loved. I want so badly to be that person but I just know that it will never be that way again...and what's frustrating about it is that I don't know why. Everyone tells me that I just need to break up with her but it's so much easier said than done. We've been through a lot over the past couple of weeks and now would just be horrible timing to call it off. I've found a girl that really makes me happy and we just clicked from the beginning and that scares me because I don't know if it's fake or if it's a sign that it's time to end it with my girlfriend. I hate myself so much and I don't think I deserve happiness for what I've done. I feel like a jerk, I never wanted to be "that guy." Part of me wants to be with her so bad. SO BAD! Sadly, part of me doesn't know what I want anymore. She has such a beautiful heart and would never do anything like this to me. This has just hurt way to long and I don't know where else to go and what else to do. I'm hoping someone can please help me. What should I do?
Thanks.
Thanks.
go to the hiv support (not dr) forum . you have to go back to april 3rd. i remember reading this thinking what a dumb @ss!! dude (you speak that right?) you are a waste of our time. what could you possibly think telling us off they way you did and then we find this? i found it by typing his name under search and there were many, i have to go read the rest now!! i cant stop smiling how you really think you are so above us women lol. hehehhehe
BadDay1972
3/1/2007
. Somebody please help me!
HIV is officially haunting me. I just spent a couple of days in the hospital from pneumonia. My doctor asked me if I had HIV which scared the hell out of me. She asked me several times. I told her I didn't think so. I was tested the next day with a rapid oraquick hiv-1 test and it came back negative. This is a list of my exposures and symptoms prior to that test.
3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex.
mid feb - high fever for 4 days, chills, headache, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, puss on tonsils, diarreah, vomiting, back pain, sore joints, trouble breathing, sore throat, etc. but no coughing or mucous which are characteristics of pneumonia.
REST OF STORY CONTINUED ON NEXT POST BELOW
The "Comments" posted below are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! Med Help International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any "Comments
3/1/2007
. Somebody please help me!
HIV is officially haunting me. I just spent a couple of days in the hospital from pneumonia. My doctor asked me if I had HIV which scared the hell out of me. She asked me several times. I told her I didn't think so. I was tested the next day with a rapid oraquick hiv-1 test and it came back negative. This is a list of my exposures and symptoms prior to that test.
3/3/06 - Unprotected one night stand - vaginal sex with a girl - NEGATIVE HIV-1 test 3 months later7/16/06 - Received Protected oral sex from stripper
9/23/06 - Unprotected Vaginal sex with friend
10/10/06 - Protected vaginal sex with girl i met a few weeks earlier
- I was also diagnosed with prostatitis in january 07.
1/25/07 - made out with stripper
1/26/07 - made out/grinded nude with girl i met night before - no penetrated sex.
mid feb - high fever for 4 days, chills, headache, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, puss on tonsils, diarreah, vomiting, back pain, sore joints, trouble breathing, sore throat, etc. but no coughing or mucous which are characteristics of pneumonia.
REST OF STORY CONTINUED ON NEXT POST BELOW
The "Comments" posted below are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! Med Help International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any "Comments
I've read all your posts about five times each now. Okay, let me try to get this straight.
-You say you love your gf, but you're not "in love" with her anymore.
-You can't imagine your life without her, but you don't want to marry her.
-You've cheated on her more than once, and she doesn't know.
-You claim this cheating behavior is something you think is out of your control.
-You want to confront her with the truth of what you've done to her.
-You think this other woman you met has the potential to really make you happy.
-You think your gf deserves better than you because she's such a loving and good-hearted person who would never dream of doing anything like this to you.
This is what you've posted.
So here's my advice; forgive me if it doesn't comfort your behavior.
You're using your gf like a toddler uses a security blanket. You don't need her. Your attention is diverted from her and has been for a while. But she's your comfort zone, your convenience.
If you get dumped by someone else, you have her. She's your "backup" girl and she doesn't even know it. You know her more personally than you know anyone else. So she'll be there to stroke your ego for you when you feel guilt or you feel like you've got no chance of having any other long-term relationship. But when it comes down to it, she's your "security blankey," not the love of your life that you think is going to be a lost once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you break up with her. Let her go, it'll hurt for a while, then you'll move on in a more mature way.
You screwed up, but you want to delay the inevitable consequences of your actions. You can't take them back, so let this be a learning experience.
If you don't tell her, she'll find out sooner or later.
Grow a backbone and tell her the truth. There's no way to sugar coat it. There's no way you can tell her without hurting her more than you already have without her knowledge.
Like I said, if SHE decides to stick with you, which I doubt she will, then consult a relationship councelor. Maybe they could help you "fall back in love again."
In any case, see a regular councelor yourself to get help for your self-hate and loyalty problems. Quit boo-hooing about not knowing what's wrong with you and take some action.
And for future reference, if you ask for advice, be willing to accept it. You asked if and how you should end it, and you also volunteered all your personal gripes about yourself. I can guarantee you you'd get the same reaction anywhere else, because who wants to defend lying, cheating, unloyal, selfish and backstabbing behavior, no matter how pitiful you sound?
-You say you love your gf, but you're not "in love" with her anymore.
-You can't imagine your life without her, but you don't want to marry her.
-You've cheated on her more than once, and she doesn't know.
-You claim this cheating behavior is something you think is out of your control.
-You want to confront her with the truth of what you've done to her.
-You think this other woman you met has the potential to really make you happy.
-You think your gf deserves better than you because she's such a loving and good-hearted person who would never dream of doing anything like this to you.
This is what you've posted.
So here's my advice; forgive me if it doesn't comfort your behavior.
You're using your gf like a toddler uses a security blanket. You don't need her. Your attention is diverted from her and has been for a while. But she's your comfort zone, your convenience.
If you get dumped by someone else, you have her. She's your "backup" girl and she doesn't even know it. You know her more personally than you know anyone else. So she'll be there to stroke your ego for you when you feel guilt or you feel like you've got no chance of having any other long-term relationship. But when it comes down to it, she's your "security blankey," not the love of your life that you think is going to be a lost once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you break up with her. Let her go, it'll hurt for a while, then you'll move on in a more mature way.
You screwed up, but you want to delay the inevitable consequences of your actions. You can't take them back, so let this be a learning experience.
If you don't tell her, she'll find out sooner or later.
Grow a backbone and tell her the truth. There's no way to sugar coat it. There's no way you can tell her without hurting her more than you already have without her knowledge.
Like I said, if SHE decides to stick with you, which I doubt she will, then consult a relationship councelor. Maybe they could help you "fall back in love again."
In any case, see a regular councelor yourself to get help for your self-hate and loyalty problems. Quit boo-hooing about not knowing what's wrong with you and take some action.
And for future reference, if you ask for advice, be willing to accept it. You asked if and how you should end it, and you also volunteered all your personal gripes about yourself. I can guarantee you you'd get the same reaction anywhere else, because who wants to defend lying, cheating, unloyal, selfish and backstabbing behavior, no matter how pitiful you sound?
there are 3 pages of him all over the boards. you need to keep your dick in your pants, you are possibly opening yourself to disease, but more importantly your girlfriend and any others you screw. do you care? i consider that to be one of the most disgusting things a person can do. you have been so worried for months now about disease yet you keep ******* whoever you want. pardon my french but you are not worthy of anyones attention or love at this point. you need some serious fixing on yourself. you can get as mad at me as you want but this isnt "normal" behaviour. therapy therapy therapy.
Wow, I missed these posts while I was posting my last one!
No pity here, I don't feel at all sorry for this guy.
If his gf is as good as he says she is, she deserves WAY better than this!
No pity here, I don't feel at all sorry for this guy.
If his gf is as good as he says she is, she deserves WAY better than this!
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