Should I keep it?

[havemercyplease]

I met a guy in late Nov. he was a really great guy except he had a girlfriend. He told me that upfront. I would ask him about getting to know me better, he told me he didnt see me that way. I would constanly beg him to come over, he would always tell me no. OK one night he was drunk he came over, we had sex. He told me it was a mistake, and he was wrong for being there. i told him not to worry, that i was on the pill and i wasnt trying to have kids with him. i have two kids already.

I found out i was pregnant. i told him that. he begged me to not have this child. I told him that i liked the way he begged. I also told him that i was with someone new yrs eve and someone after i got with him.  i want to have this kid but he is begging me not too. i told him i would have the abortion, i then changed my mind and now hes freaking out. i always wanted a son. i joked with him and said if he would marry me i would have the abortion, he didnt think that was funny. he was talking about committing suicide and i told him if he did that i would be at his funeral to get his DNA so i could get my money. he never lied to me about his relationship and he didnt dog me out. i told him he didnt use me, and my intentions were to sleep with him to get him to leave his girlfriend. he doesnt call me anymore, and the third guy i was with changed his number.

whenever i do talk to him he sounds so disgusted to talk with me, i guess because he has no choice in the matter, and i told him that based on my past experiences i dont care about mens feelings. he doesnt have any kids either so this would be his first.

what do you guys think?

[slow_healer]

barnbabe, you aren't the resident socialist/atheist nor do you represent such bodies of thought for all people on this forum. You might be mis-interpreting the upset caused in others as being to WHAT you say rather than HOW you say it.

I agree with peekawho - showing respect (and some level of humility) is the best way to communicate ideas. I really like a lot of the ideas coming out on this forum (including atheist), but bullying others by belittling them is EXTREMELY counterproductive. You're doing your beliefs more disservice by presenting them poorly. I'm pretty sure most of us don't come here to agree/disagree on our personal religious views - just offer advice out of a desire for well-being and community.

[pertykitty]

and barn babe you can only take flak if you cant discuss or debate in an adult manner. surely your law background has taught you that.

[pertykitty]

its not my beliefs that were ridiculed, it was the fact that she goes on tyrants demeaning people and creating havoc herself. i made an athiest comment, no name calling was invoved and i was suddenly an idiot because i didnt agree. go figure. barn babe you desire respect and tolerance, but if you  cant give the same, how do you expect it? i dont think you have ever honestly answered a question without throwing your unicorn or other remarks. the fact that we are all so different is great, we can all go about our lives however we wish, i am saying that it would be nice if such diversity can be shared without insults. as for the original poster, who knows they never came back.

[peekawho]

Though I agree with you on a few of your views, the way in which you express them by demeaning the beliefs of others is counterproductive.  If you would like people to read your posts thoughtfully and take something meaningful away from them, you may want to tone down some of your vitriolic rants.  

I respect and admire you for the passion of your beliefs.  And though I don't agree with the religious beliefs of many of the forum members, I wouldn't dream of calling them mentally ill.  

No one is asking you to start throwing around "amens" or heaving clouds of babydust at anyone, just remember that as passionately as embrace your beliefs, so do other people.  People are so turned off by the tone of many of your posts, that often a good point you might make is missed completely.

Just tone it down.  More people will read your posts carefully if you do, instead of going immediately into the red zone when their beliefs are ridiculed.

Thanks.  

[barn babe]

Generally, the resident socialist/atheist takes a lot of flak no matter what forum it's on. ;-)

[slow_healer]

Look guys,

Even if this person is a troll, should we start proclaiming how judgmental we are? This will only discourage people who are REALLY in crisis from posting. It will only serve to make people in real crisis afraid to post for fear of being called names. If someone is posting a joke, then let's just give them the benefit of the doubt that it's genuine, offer sincere advice, and stop there.

Not long ago there was a poster asking for help about an ex-boyfriend who might be the father of her baby. People were telling her to go on Jerry Springer. If the poster wanted that kind of advice, I'm sure she could have just asked her not-so-good friends. I've known people in her situation, and was very disappointed in the kind of "support" this forum had to offer her.

If we want to debate and express viewpoints, let's create a thread for it (like the abortion thread, which has now been mysteriously removed). But let's NOT turn other people's posts into religious/moral/other debates. This forum is here for them - not for us to vent. It won't matter how *right* you are - no one will listen if you can't show respect.

Just my two cents. And for the record, I enjoy the diversity of advice offered - what better way to anonymously help someone than by offering them a variety of ideas to choose from. It encourages critical thinking :)