Should I leave my husband, attracted to someone else

[sassyjc]

Hi, I need some advice and can't believe there are others in the same boat and I need an opinion of someone who isn't close to me.  

I have been married for 4years and together for 8 with no children.  We were really happy in the beginning, lots of excitement, we starting living together after 4mths and then bought a house together.  Got married after 4years.  I am 26years old now and my husband is 42..he rescued me from a bad relationship and I guess I feel I owe him.  we haven't had sex for over a year now and he says that there isn't an issue just that we are always busy and working.  Our relationship is strained I like to spend money and he likes to save it and i feel like he treats me like a child.  I love him but don't know if I am in love with him anymore.

I have recently become attracted to someone else and I know he feels the same way but I don't want to leave my husband on a whim that it will work out with this other guy.  I don't think my sexual relationship with my husband will improve and we have do have a difference of opinion when it comes to wanting children (I do he will for me but not cause he wants them).  I feel like I am living with my best friend and not my husband.  I just worry that if i feel like this now how will i feel in 10yrs time.  I am scared that if I do leave him no-one will love me as much as he does, help I really need some guidence on what to do, whether to stay or drum up the courage to leave..

[jo929]

sonds to me like you think to much of yourself and not enough of others , remember you married him, and no the grass is not greener on the other side every thing is exciting for a while and then the new wears off of the Chrystal chandaliers.
but in the long run i beleive that both of you would be happier if you got  a divorce, just my opinion, but it is your decision to make  jo

[Judy246]

This is what I get from  your post:

* Married for 4 yrs.
* Significant age, life experience and maturity difference (16 yrs.) (Red flag)
* Husband "rescue" you from bad relationship (Rebound!)...(Red flag)
* What you are feeling is "gratitude" to your husband (Red flag)
* No sex for 1 yr. (Red flag)
* Financial incompatability and responsibility....(Red flag)
* You love him (care & friendship), BUT are not in love with him (Red flag)
* You have committed adultery by thought, lust and interest for another man
   because you are married. (Red flag)

There is definately an age and maturity difference and  you felt gratitude when you met him for helping you get over a past relationship. That's a poor excuse to marry someone and now you have met someone else.

I recommend that you either seek marriage counselor or a priest to sort out the problems in your marriage, but if you are no longer in love with the man (I don't think you ever where!), then file for a divorce. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on when all he did was be good to you. Also, remember, what goes around comes around, I hope this infidelity doesn't backfire on you. The grass is not always greener on the other side, but do him the favor and give him a divorce.