Confused Girlfriend

[misskclove]

So.. my boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 months now, things are pretty serious.. or so I thought. Last night some girl that he has had relations with in the past text him drunk telling him "we should drink together... you know we would have great times" he decided it would be a great idea to tell me about these texts (realizing that it made me upset) yet he still kept texting her back right in front of me. So.. my problem is that I can't say anything.... when he saw that I was upset he got mad at me for being a jealous person (which is understandable).. but if some person, guy or girl, text me while we are hanging out he gets mad. What would be the best way to handle this situation without him turning the tables and making me the bad person? No boyfriend should be texting other girls in front of his girlfriend and just merely flirting back and acting like everything is okay right?

[specialmom]

Hi,  when you say it makes you fight for what you want . . . well.  That is the response he probably wants, to be honest.  HE is insecure.  He likes the feeling he gets when he dangles that information in front of you.  He likes your response.  I still contend that there is a payoff for everything someone does.  He wouldn't do it if there weren't. His loyalty to you is in question.  Not because he is cheating---- but because he so easily hurts you and blames you for it.  He does need to grow up and I wouldn't waste your time fighting for someone this disloyal.  Just my opinion.  Good luck.

[younggrandmother]

I could not help myself , First of all I would like to apologize,(you know why)  I know how he feels and he would NEVER take her up on her offer, you have nothing to worry about I'm SURE of that. As for you, you have done nothing wrong by telling him how you feel know he knows never to do this again. Once again I'm SO..........Sorry that this hurt you.  

[jo929]

You must really be insecure to put up with this, and very young and foolish, he does this because he wants to, and he know that he can, he thinks he has you under his thumb maybe he does, but it it were me i would have left long before this, and i would have told him that i would not be treated this way. there are more guys out there and a lot better ones  luck  jo

[Judy246]

You said it and know the answer, "No boyfriend should be texing other girls in front of his girlfriend and flirt back and act as if everything is ok". It is not only ok, but disrespectful and unexceptable and I would have gotten up and walked out on him. Then he has the nerve to get mad at you for getting mad at him for this behavior. What the hell is wrong with this guy? No it is not ok and that behavior is telling you that he is a risk for infidelity and does not respect you or your relationship. To be honest with you, I would dump him on the spot, but that's me. It's time for you to re-evaluate this relationship and find a guy who will love you and respect you and the relationship and stop playing these stupid, childish, inmature games. Dump him and show him your not going to take this crap.

[misskclove]

But when things like this happen it makes me want to fight for what I want. Some other girl should not stand in my way! I really like this guy and I think he is a good catch! I just need to know how to tell him that upset me!

[specialmom]

oh boy. Couple of problems here.  I don't think I would appreciate anyone getting mad at me for getting a text while with them. Like you can help that, right?  If you spend massive amounts of the time you are with him texting back, well that is rude.  But if he is controling as it sounds----  I wouldn't like that at all.  Another trait of an insecure guy trying to control you is flaunting texts from his drunk X girlfriend in your face.  It says----  "see, someone else wants me . . .you better be good!".  Not fair.  And remember, that if he didn't WANT her to text him-----  he wouldn't text back.  He gets some kind of subconscious payback by participating in it.  That is really something to think about.

So I hate to say it-----  but you don't have too much time invested here.  I'd move on to a more mature guy.  Good luck.