What should I do about it?

[checkers123]

The other day I went on my boyfriends Facebook and found several messages to several different girls all telling them they're hot and sexy. Most of the girls didn't reply but one ended up having a conversation with him in which he went on to tell her she's so hot and how he's always wanted to get with her and if she would've ever hooked up with him. She wasn't flirting back and only called him hot once. When she asked if his gf would get mad about him saying that stuff (his Facebook status says in a relationship with me) he told her we broke up and he's too lazy to change it!!! Also he had messages another girl who he had a short thing with a few years ago and got her number and told her he would be texting her! I told him I found them and he said he was drunk(which idk if i believe) and felt terrible and wishes he didn't do it, all the usual excuses. He's my first serious boyfriend and we've been dating for a year. He hurt me so much by doing this but because he never really cheated I feel like dumping him is over reacting. Idk what to do should I leave him or give him a chance to earn his trust back??

[Life360_Dave]

Your boyfriend is immuture and is still playing the field. It appears he has gotton what he wants out of you. Id leave.

[specialmom]

LOL Rockrose, vomit.  That's funny.  

[RockRose]

I agree.  Men don't do anything when they're drunk that they don't want to do when they're sober.  (Except vomit,  I guess).

Even if it's all true,  that all the times he was texting these women he was drunk,  he wanted to do it sober but just was too inhibited.  And as SM says,  if he's at a party drunk,  and there's a willing woman, he'll actually go through with it.

If this were ONE woman,  ONE time,  I'd give him slack.  This sounds like a lot of women.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I agree with SpecialMom.

I think this is a HUGE red flag, a prelude of what will come and the "drunk excuse" is also alarming and may also be a prelude of what will come (either a possible problem with alcohol OR possibly alcohol makes for a good excuse for doing something out of line?  Either/or is another red flag)

Red Flags are our most often our only view of the future.  We need to carefully pay attention to them.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I think dumping him is appropriate.  Don't you feel betrayed?  I mean, some alcohol in his system is an excuse for writing these messages to other women? What if he is out and drunk and ends up actually having sex with someone?  Is it okay just because he is drunk?

My thoughts are that either he loses all control when he drinks in which case he has a drinking problem and you should probably move on to a less risky relationship OR he is of low character and just has cheating as something he does when weak in which case you should leave this for a less risky relationship.

I know he has a good side, everyone does.  But we have to look realistically at a situation to determine if we should continue dating someone and frankly, we just shouldn't sometimes.

Ignoring red flags such as these is never a good idea.  good luck