Aa
Just a male thing?? BOTH Male & Female Input needed
I truly believe GOD put him with me/for me and in-front of me for some reason, but I am having a difficult time here.
(My Age: 25)
BOTH Women and Men. I need YOU to tell me if I am OVER-REACTING. I need a mature response with a real answer. If you believe you can do that PLEASE comment and PLEASE reach into your heart on this one. My age maybe that but I believe I need to GROW UP some more.
My boyfriend; He has a deep distrust toward men. According to him and his mother. He always has had this distrust.He has 3 GOD brothers they are the only MEN that he trusts. Every other man can "Go kick the bucket".
I've been with my boyfriend now for 7months, I've known him for much longer than that though. I love and care for him very much. He does not like that I had other "Guy" friends from the past. (I'm not going to sugar coat ANYTHING...) [ About 95% of the guys that I consider "Guy" friends are my exes. Some are guys I had cam-sex with and have sex-ted with,years ago..] As for most of those men I "fooled around with
" VIRTUALLY", my boyfriend has no idea that those particular "events" went on.
I admit that I have done a couple things that offended him and I should have known better. I texted my ex-boyfriend out of pure innocence, I have not talked to him in several years. I dated him when were both 13 and 14 years old, very long time ago, but the title does not change. My boyfriend felt completely disrespected. I later apologized.
I've always been surrounded by men though. I'm the only girl my age, in my family, both extended and intermediate. So it's something I've kinda held a torch to. I have never really gotten along with women, but I do I have a few girlfriends here and there.
My boyfriend recently this week took the opportunity to ask me to "Delete" some female numbers from his phone. I don't really care who he talks to as long as it's not disrespectful to me or our relationship. He can talk to an ex for all I care, I. Dont. Care. ( In saying that though,I understand we are two different people. Some thing he finds Horrific could be Rose-scented to me)
So I did as he asked. I deleted an ex-girlfriend, and a few other girls. The rest I left for him to decide. He chuckled and said, "I'm surprised you didn't delete.. her,her,her...Ect" My care for that type of stuff obviously is not as a deep as his.
I agreed to let him delete everyone he found fault with in my phone. He deleted every guy except for family members. Okay, That was fine.
I feel isolate a bit. He reacts like this with every guy, that approach's me, texts me. I recently got a text message from a man/friend I haven't talk to in a while. !! The phone number is not even in my phone!! , and all the guy said was "Hey you. How are you." My boyfriend's reaction; "Who is that? Why do you always have men texting your phone?"
Seriously?
On-top of that he recently obtained a females number from his job who he works with and they were texting back and fourth, I could care less about him texting her. Though his excuse for texting her was: ,' Well you texted your ex, So I thought to myself why should I keep blowing off all these women who want my number, so I went ahead and did it." and come to find out he texted this women BEFORE I texted my ex ..9 days BEFORE to be exact.
I don't care about him texting her its just the fact that he beat's me over the head about texting other men? But its all "Good" with him to go ahead and do what he doesn't like me to do?
Then tried to go back and say well you text other men too.. He did apologize though and stated he was in the wrong.
I just feel kind of isolated..I understand he does not trust men around me period. I don't exactly trust women but I still don't really give a CRAP who is in his phone..Who he talked to a while back is somebody he talked to a WHILE BACK.
I know this is probably something I should talk to him about, but I feel like I should drop it because all this conversation does is start another argument and He assumes that because I say this "I now so desperately need male interaction." THAT IS NEVER WHAT ITHOUGH."
I swear it stems from his trust in me but he holds up his hand to GOD and say's I do trust you more than I trust my own mother, its not you Baby.
We got into an argument over at his mothers house two days ago and her fiance does this same thing with her, she dismisses it as; A male thing.
O.o are you kidding me. What should I do?
Does your husband or significant other do this? MEN do you guys DO THIS?
LADIES what do you do?
All responses appreciated.
Am I over-reacting? It's not like I need a guy friend...I just don't like the control or isolation.
and if I were to tell him all this he'd assume that. "You need guy friends." and thats not ever what I'm trying to say. We've talked about it before but...I can never get him to understand.
(My Age: 25)
BOTH Women and Men. I need YOU to tell me if I am OVER-REACTING. I need a mature response with a real answer. If you believe you can do that PLEASE comment and PLEASE reach into your heart on this one. My age maybe that but I believe I need to GROW UP some more.
My boyfriend; He has a deep distrust toward men. According to him and his mother. He always has had this distrust.He has 3 GOD brothers they are the only MEN that he trusts. Every other man can "Go kick the bucket".
I've been with my boyfriend now for 7months, I've known him for much longer than that though. I love and care for him very much. He does not like that I had other "Guy" friends from the past. (I'm not going to sugar coat ANYTHING...) [ About 95% of the guys that I consider "Guy" friends are my exes. Some are guys I had cam-sex with and have sex-ted with,years ago..] As for most of those men I "fooled around with
" VIRTUALLY", my boyfriend has no idea that those particular "events" went on.
I admit that I have done a couple things that offended him and I should have known better. I texted my ex-boyfriend out of pure innocence, I have not talked to him in several years. I dated him when were both 13 and 14 years old, very long time ago, but the title does not change. My boyfriend felt completely disrespected. I later apologized.
I've always been surrounded by men though. I'm the only girl my age, in my family, both extended and intermediate. So it's something I've kinda held a torch to. I have never really gotten along with women, but I do I have a few girlfriends here and there.
My boyfriend recently this week took the opportunity to ask me to "Delete" some female numbers from his phone. I don't really care who he talks to as long as it's not disrespectful to me or our relationship. He can talk to an ex for all I care, I. Dont. Care. ( In saying that though,I understand we are two different people. Some thing he finds Horrific could be Rose-scented to me)
So I did as he asked. I deleted an ex-girlfriend, and a few other girls. The rest I left for him to decide. He chuckled and said, "I'm surprised you didn't delete.. her,her,her...Ect" My care for that type of stuff obviously is not as a deep as his.
I agreed to let him delete everyone he found fault with in my phone. He deleted every guy except for family members. Okay, That was fine.
I feel isolate a bit. He reacts like this with every guy, that approach's me, texts me. I recently got a text message from a man/friend I haven't talk to in a while. !! The phone number is not even in my phone!! , and all the guy said was "Hey you. How are you." My boyfriend's reaction; "Who is that? Why do you always have men texting your phone?"
Seriously?
On-top of that he recently obtained a females number from his job who he works with and they were texting back and fourth, I could care less about him texting her. Though his excuse for texting her was: ,' Well you texted your ex, So I thought to myself why should I keep blowing off all these women who want my number, so I went ahead and did it." and come to find out he texted this women BEFORE I texted my ex ..9 days BEFORE to be exact.
I don't care about him texting her its just the fact that he beat's me over the head about texting other men? But its all "Good" with him to go ahead and do what he doesn't like me to do?
Then tried to go back and say well you text other men too.. He did apologize though and stated he was in the wrong.
I just feel kind of isolated..I understand he does not trust men around me period. I don't exactly trust women but I still don't really give a CRAP who is in his phone..Who he talked to a while back is somebody he talked to a WHILE BACK.
I know this is probably something I should talk to him about, but I feel like I should drop it because all this conversation does is start another argument and He assumes that because I say this "I now so desperately need male interaction." THAT IS NEVER WHAT ITHOUGH."
I swear it stems from his trust in me but he holds up his hand to GOD and say's I do trust you more than I trust my own mother, its not you Baby.
We got into an argument over at his mothers house two days ago and her fiance does this same thing with her, she dismisses it as; A male thing.
O.o are you kidding me. What should I do?
Does your husband or significant other do this? MEN do you guys DO THIS?
LADIES what do you do?
All responses appreciated.
Am I over-reacting? It's not like I need a guy friend...I just don't like the control or isolation.
and if I were to tell him all this he'd assume that. "You need guy friends." and thats not ever what I'm trying to say. We've talked about it before but...I can never get him to understand.
"That was Your statement right at at the get-go, and goes beyon "am I over-reacting?" There was more. You got feedback here based on Your own statements. "
Absolutely.
Ditto to all of the new replies above.
You asked for a lot more input than you think you did. Either that or we all read your post wrong. Consider it a bonus! You got a lot of well thought out, detailed replies from several people who are not directly involved in your life, which is a great way to get objective feedback. Try not to take anything personally or get defensive. Sometimes when we ask for feedback, we hear things we may not want to hear, or aren't prepared to hear.
We're only replying based on the info you provided.
Hope you figure it out!
Absolutely.
Ditto to all of the new replies above.
You asked for a lot more input than you think you did. Either that or we all read your post wrong. Consider it a bonus! You got a lot of well thought out, detailed replies from several people who are not directly involved in your life, which is a great way to get objective feedback. Try not to take anything personally or get defensive. Sometimes when we ask for feedback, we hear things we may not want to hear, or aren't prepared to hear.
We're only replying based on the info you provided.
Hope you figure it out!
Well.....Beautiful, these were your questions as you had more than one. Reread what you wrote.
"O.o are you kidding me. What should I do?"......... Reevaluate the relationship asap.
"Does your husband or significant other do this? MEN do you guys DO THIS?"......No, my husband does NOT do this.
"LADIES what do you do?......"........Find a heathier relationship to be in.
"All responses appreciated.".............We've given you our perspectives.
"Am I over-reacting?".......I would say if you have to conduct yourself in a relationship in such a manner than perhaps it isn't the one for you.
All the best.
"O.o are you kidding me. What should I do?"......... Reevaluate the relationship asap.
"Does your husband or significant other do this? MEN do you guys DO THIS?"......No, my husband does NOT do this.
"LADIES what do you do?......"........Find a heathier relationship to be in.
"All responses appreciated.".............We've given you our perspectives.
"Am I over-reacting?".......I would say if you have to conduct yourself in a relationship in such a manner than perhaps it isn't the one for you.
All the best.
I think you both have issues with communication and if you think you want to stay together long term you're going to have to work on that. Relationships are not about saying I'm right and you're wrong. It's about I feel X you feel Y now how do we meet in the middle so we're both satisfied with the outcome?
If you tell him you don't like it when he is controlling (which you did say in your post) because it makes you feel bad and he keeps doing it anyway then he is not respecting your feelings. If he tells you he doesn't like it when you talk to your ex boyfriends and ex F buddies but you do it anyway then you're not respecting his feelings. Neither one of you is paying attention to each others feelings based on what you said and that's why I said I didn't think you belong together. Of course maybe neither one of you is yet ready for a mature relationship and this is just a meaningless fling that isn't that important to you guys. That's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But call a spade a spade and don't be surprised when you guys have arguments like this because you're not hearing nor listening to what each other is saying.
Learn to communicate. Use your words with each other and resolve your issues in an open and non blaming way and you'll be golden for the next 70 years. Keep doing what you're doing and you won't last til Christmas. It is what it is. I see this type of back pedaling all the time on these forums when people don't like the objective opinions of people who can read between the lines and get down to the brass tacks of what's really going on. All the sudden they're confronted with the reality of their situation and they don't like it so they get overly defensive. I've seen it a million times. This is nothing new.
If you tell him you don't like it when he is controlling (which you did say in your post) because it makes you feel bad and he keeps doing it anyway then he is not respecting your feelings. If he tells you he doesn't like it when you talk to your ex boyfriends and ex F buddies but you do it anyway then you're not respecting his feelings. Neither one of you is paying attention to each others feelings based on what you said and that's why I said I didn't think you belong together. Of course maybe neither one of you is yet ready for a mature relationship and this is just a meaningless fling that isn't that important to you guys. That's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But call a spade a spade and don't be surprised when you guys have arguments like this because you're not hearing nor listening to what each other is saying.
Learn to communicate. Use your words with each other and resolve your issues in an open and non blaming way and you'll be golden for the next 70 years. Keep doing what you're doing and you won't last til Christmas. It is what it is. I see this type of back pedaling all the time on these forums when people don't like the objective opinions of people who can read between the lines and get down to the brass tacks of what's really going on. All the sudden they're confronted with the reality of their situation and they don't like it so they get overly defensive. I've seen it a million times. This is nothing new.
You sound a little defensive.
Your post was very long and You gave a lot of info that is going to warrent comment from many of us.
Twice You said You feel "isolated". That's not a good feeling for one to have and goes beyond "am I over-reacting?".
"I have never really gotten along with women" That was Your statement right at at the get-go, and goes beyon "am I over-reacting?" There was more. You got feedback here based on Your own statements.
I stand by my initial statements based on information You provided.
Your post was very long and You gave a lot of info that is going to warrent comment from many of us.
Twice You said You feel "isolated". That's not a good feeling for one to have and goes beyond "am I over-reacting?".
"I have never really gotten along with women" That was Your statement right at at the get-go, and goes beyon "am I over-reacting?" There was more. You got feedback here based on Your own statements.
I stand by my initial statements based on information You provided.
Ok im with you then.
To answer your question.
If your goal is to be life long partners till death does you part, then no your not over reacting because communication and understanding is an important part of growing and sharing.
If there is no thought about the future together then yes you are over reacting because who really give a hoot anyway!
To answer your question.
If your goal is to be life long partners till death does you part, then no your not over reacting because communication and understanding is an important part of growing and sharing.
If there is no thought about the future together then yes you are over reacting because who really give a hoot anyway!
First thing I have to say is; "What are you all talking about?
What I wanted an answer to; Am I over-reacting to the situation.
I DID NOT ask Whether or not I wanted to marry him.
I DID NOT ask whether or not we get along.
I DID NOT ask if we should be friends or lovers
I DID NOT ask "are we compatible"
I DID NOT ask a-lot of the things you seem to stick to.
In-fact my boyfriend and I get along very well. We have a-lot in common. We communicate well on all of our issues and if an apology is in order it is said. In fact in this situation we solved a-lot of our issues and noticed a lot of wrongs.
I was giving you all background information from the past two days. So there would be no confusion and not to many questions. I am really happy with him as he is with me.
I still never received what I was truly asking..Actually ONE person did answer my question..on another site. It was a man. He DIRECTLY answer the ONE thing I asked.
Copied and Pasted " I believe you are over-reacting. I'd be truly upset if I found out my lover reached behind her to talk to an ex she may have intimate with.
Step in your boyfriends shoe's here for a second.
It does not sound like a trust issue against you, I truly believe it's got nothing to do with you, its something he has to do with his personal being.
Stay away from texting an old friend such as you mentioned. To me he had every right to delete those numbers as did you. They are UN-needed and it will only cause harm in your relationship if you to plan on furthering what you have already begun."
I asked ONE question. I even bolded the question
For those of you who said; I seem to want to keep in contact with those from my past.
Not true, where did I say that? I can't control who calls me from out of the blue and all my past numbers have sense then been deleted none of those men serve any importance to me.
and why I don't feel like I get along well with women is my own personal reason. I get along with women, I get along with any one really, but most women cause an enormous head for me, The one's I have as friends, don't do that.
thank you
-Beautiful
What I wanted an answer to; Am I over-reacting to the situation.
I DID NOT ask Whether or not I wanted to marry him.
I DID NOT ask whether or not we get along.
I DID NOT ask if we should be friends or lovers
I DID NOT ask "are we compatible"
I DID NOT ask a-lot of the things you seem to stick to.
In-fact my boyfriend and I get along very well. We have a-lot in common. We communicate well on all of our issues and if an apology is in order it is said. In fact in this situation we solved a-lot of our issues and noticed a lot of wrongs.
I was giving you all background information from the past two days. So there would be no confusion and not to many questions. I am really happy with him as he is with me.
I still never received what I was truly asking..Actually ONE person did answer my question..on another site. It was a man. He DIRECTLY answer the ONE thing I asked.
Copied and Pasted " I believe you are over-reacting. I'd be truly upset if I found out my lover reached behind her to talk to an ex she may have intimate with.
Step in your boyfriends shoe's here for a second.
It does not sound like a trust issue against you, I truly believe it's got nothing to do with you, its something he has to do with his personal being.
Stay away from texting an old friend such as you mentioned. To me he had every right to delete those numbers as did you. They are UN-needed and it will only cause harm in your relationship if you to plan on furthering what you have already begun."
I asked ONE question. I even bolded the question
For those of you who said; I seem to want to keep in contact with those from my past.
Not true, where did I say that? I can't control who calls me from out of the blue and all my past numbers have sense then been deleted none of those men serve any importance to me.
and why I don't feel like I get along well with women is my own personal reason. I get along with women, I get along with any one really, but most women cause an enormous head for me, The one's I have as friends, don't do that.
thank you
-Beautiful
I don't think this is a matter of "the past" but that BeautifulandBlessed wants to Keep contact with guys from Her past - guys who She ALSO had sexual interaction with. Did I misunderstand the question here?
I would agree that the past is the past is the past - BUT - the past should REMAIN in the past and if You want to 'continue' some kind of relationship with people You have been sexually involved with 'in the past '- well, I can see why BoyFriend has an issue. If these relationships are current and ongoing, well maybe, things haven't been "finished", "resolved".....I can see BoyFriend's insecurity about this in that You are keeping the "past" in the present.
ALSO: I understand why He might have an issue with You CHOOSING to be friends with Men rather than Women.
You: "I don't get along with Women". A sttatement like that can insure/instill insecurity for a Man. What does that even REALLY mean??----when a Woman says "I've never been able to "get along" with other Women". Personally, I think the statement is more revealing about the Woman who is making the statement than what it says about the Women She "can't get along with". It's a big turn off. Why would a woman say "I can't get along with other women"? What is She trying to convey with that statement?. What is She trying to convey to a Man?? or to Women, for that matter??
Again, with all due respect, it comes across as "I Like Men and I Don't Like Women". I don't think the statement sits well with Men OR Women.
Why can't/won't/doesn't one like Men AND Women? I think that statement would make any Man feel insecure.
I know I would never Marry a Man who said to me: " I can't get along with other Men. I can only get along with Women. To me, that would be a BIG Red Flag and I would walk away.
I would agree that the past is the past is the past - BUT - the past should REMAIN in the past and if You want to 'continue' some kind of relationship with people You have been sexually involved with 'in the past '- well, I can see why BoyFriend has an issue. If these relationships are current and ongoing, well maybe, things haven't been "finished", "resolved".....I can see BoyFriend's insecurity about this in that You are keeping the "past" in the present.
ALSO: I understand why He might have an issue with You CHOOSING to be friends with Men rather than Women.
You: "I don't get along with Women". A sttatement like that can insure/instill insecurity for a Man. What does that even REALLY mean??----when a Woman says "I've never been able to "get along" with other Women". Personally, I think the statement is more revealing about the Woman who is making the statement than what it says about the Women She "can't get along with". It's a big turn off. Why would a woman say "I can't get along with other women"? What is She trying to convey with that statement?. What is She trying to convey to a Man?? or to Women, for that matter??
Again, with all due respect, it comes across as "I Like Men and I Don't Like Women". I don't think the statement sits well with Men OR Women.
Why can't/won't/doesn't one like Men AND Women? I think that statement would make any Man feel insecure.
I know I would never Marry a Man who said to me: " I can't get along with other Men. I can only get along with Women. To me, that would be a BIG Red Flag and I would walk away.
Ditto Londres.
There are just certain things that we have to accept in relationships, one is that we must respect the feelings of our partner, whether or not we agree with them. While he sounds a little insecure, I also feel he sort of has the right to not approve of you texting guys that HE himself isn't friends with. Especially because MOST of the guys you mentioned you had SOME sort of sexual relationship with, so yeah, I can see that being an issue. It's just inappropriate and little disrespectful. He may have his own issues with trust, but you doing those things is not going to help lay that foundation of trust very well.
You seem to have no problem giving up your male texting buddies, so then just do so, as there is no need to be doing that anyway IMO. You isolating yourself as a result of being cut off from former lovers, sexters doesn't make sense.
Find new people to hand out with and communicate with, you know, girls? LOL That's not to say you couldn't ever have a guy friend, but for the most part, unless they are mutual friends of you both, I feel it is inappropriate.
I trust my hubby 100% completely, if I found out he was having back and forth convos with someone he used to be intimately involved with, I wouldn't be happy. Not even for trust reasons, but because it's kind of disrespectful. I wouldn't have an issue with him posting to or commenting on public FB posts of those such people, but private texts back and forth aren't necessary or appropriate, IMO.
Remember that dating is a way to find a mate you're compatible with. Even putting this issue beside, you may not be very compatible with him. That's something you would have to figure out. 7 months is not a long time, so if you DO come to the conclusion that this isn't a good match, best to move on now. Not everyone we date is meant to be our "forever" person.
Good luck to you!
There are just certain things that we have to accept in relationships, one is that we must respect the feelings of our partner, whether or not we agree with them. While he sounds a little insecure, I also feel he sort of has the right to not approve of you texting guys that HE himself isn't friends with. Especially because MOST of the guys you mentioned you had SOME sort of sexual relationship with, so yeah, I can see that being an issue. It's just inappropriate and little disrespectful. He may have his own issues with trust, but you doing those things is not going to help lay that foundation of trust very well.
You seem to have no problem giving up your male texting buddies, so then just do so, as there is no need to be doing that anyway IMO. You isolating yourself as a result of being cut off from former lovers, sexters doesn't make sense.
Find new people to hand out with and communicate with, you know, girls? LOL That's not to say you couldn't ever have a guy friend, but for the most part, unless they are mutual friends of you both, I feel it is inappropriate.
I trust my hubby 100% completely, if I found out he was having back and forth convos with someone he used to be intimately involved with, I wouldn't be happy. Not even for trust reasons, but because it's kind of disrespectful. I wouldn't have an issue with him posting to or commenting on public FB posts of those such people, but private texts back and forth aren't necessary or appropriate, IMO.
Remember that dating is a way to find a mate you're compatible with. Even putting this issue beside, you may not be very compatible with him. That's something you would have to figure out. 7 months is not a long time, so if you DO come to the conclusion that this isn't a good match, best to move on now. Not everyone we date is meant to be our "forever" person.
Good luck to you!
Agree with Chima though I am not sure about friendship between you two.
Hubby and I don't do what you are describing.
Tink and Life360 make very valid points as well.
Hubby and I don't do what you are describing.
Tink and Life360 make very valid points as well.
Don't get mad but I think you guys don't sound all that compatible. It doesn't even appear that you like each other very much so I'm not sure why you're even together. You are too different and your fundamentally opposite to the point where you probably shouldn't even be in a relationship with each other. Frankly I truly believe based on what you have written that you guys would be better off as just friends rather than bf/gf.
Hi and welcome. I think to answer this one has to look at what is your relationship about. Why are you together what are your plans for eachother?
I feel when 2 people meet and fall in love and want to be together for the rest of their lives, they get married, plan children, and lay a financial foundation by securing a career, buying a home and being there for eachother till the good Lord calls them home.
Is this what yours is about? Or is one person not sure. And if not sure then why are they with the person? Sex, company, fills gaps?
I sense a few things about him that are as Tinkkerbell calls red flags, especially your comment about him not liking you guyfriends from the past.
What it his business about your life before him?
If there is no structure or loving plans then saying all this is a guy thing or a girl thing has no value because love is missing from the equation. When people love eachother they donot do things that cause hurt or insecurity.
I feel when 2 people meet and fall in love and want to be together for the rest of their lives, they get married, plan children, and lay a financial foundation by securing a career, buying a home and being there for eachother till the good Lord calls them home.
Is this what yours is about? Or is one person not sure. And if not sure then why are they with the person? Sex, company, fills gaps?
I sense a few things about him that are as Tinkkerbell calls red flags, especially your comment about him not liking you guyfriends from the past.
What it his business about your life before him?
If there is no structure or loving plans then saying all this is a guy thing or a girl thing has no value because love is missing from the equation. When people love eachother they donot do things that cause hurt or insecurity.
My Husband and I don't have this issue as Our friends are mutual friends. I don't have a male friend who isn't also His friend. He doesn't have a female friend who isn't also my friend - so I don't have "advice" here as I can't relate to the problem - but I did make a few observations based on some of Your statements:
"about 95% of the guys I consider guy friends are my exes"
"some I had cam sex with, some I sex-ted with, most of them I "fooled" around with"
"I admit I have done a couple things that offended Him and I should have known better"
"I've always been surrounded by men"
"It's something I've kind of held a torch to"
"I've never really gotten along with women" (I've heard that one before and frankly, it always sounds suspect to me - always strikes me that a woman would say that)
If I were Your BoyFriend I think I would probably feel insecure about this attitude also.
This is likely a Red Flag for both of You. Neither Yours no His opinion is likely to change on this subject so, one of the other of You will end up "tolerating" the other opinion. Will this be do-able in the long term? For You?......For Him?
Good Luck
"about 95% of the guys I consider guy friends are my exes"
"some I had cam sex with, some I sex-ted with, most of them I "fooled" around with"
"I admit I have done a couple things that offended Him and I should have known better"
"I've always been surrounded by men"
"It's something I've kind of held a torch to"
"I've never really gotten along with women" (I've heard that one before and frankly, it always sounds suspect to me - always strikes me that a woman would say that)
If I were Your BoyFriend I think I would probably feel insecure about this attitude also.
This is likely a Red Flag for both of You. Neither Yours no His opinion is likely to change on this subject so, one of the other of You will end up "tolerating" the other opinion. Will this be do-able in the long term? For You?......For Him?
Good Luck
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