Relationship advice...

[PhoKISonYOU]

I am talking to this guy and we met close to a year ago. We just recently started talking like moving towards a relationship rather than a friendship the past month. Well, about a week ago he told me he was falling in love with me. We live in two different states but he doesn't mind the distance. He's come up here every week to spend his days off with me. He's really nice, he's everything I've ever wanted in a man. Honestly if I believed in fairy-tales he would be my knight in shining armor. He wants to actually be a man in the relationship and take care of me, I've never had any guy want to take care of me. I've been abused and raped during my childhood so it scares me to be with a real man. It's like I'm trying to convince myself into thinking this guy is not real, like there's no real good guys out there. Last week he asked me to be his girlfriend but I couldn't answer him, I was speechless. Like my heart says yes go for it because in my mind something is telling me he's the one I've been searching for and God created just for me BUT I am extremely scared of commitment since my last relationship. idk what to do, I need advice. Thanks in advance!

[msgorgeous]

Congrats on your new realationship sounds like a great guy just let him know you want to take things slow andyou dont want anything to ruin the realationship. YAY im soo happy you found a great guy thats gonna treat you right yay i wish you happiness for the years to come :)

[PhoKISonYOU]

Thank you both for your kind words and input on my situation. About the whole moving thing, I wasn't planning to move in with him until I knew I was ready. I want to get to know him more before I move in with him. I plan to take it slow with him so that nothing serious goes wrong too quick, you know what I mean? I know with his last relationship he told me that they were together 3 years and was about to pop the question but she started acting shady and things of that nature and then they broke up. My ex and I were engaged for a year but I couldn't fly away from it because I was scared but after about a year of being unhappy and not being able to marry him, I had to boot. I saw my relatives and friends marrying for the wrong reasons.

[Myown]

Very happy to hear that you feel good about your new relationship. As far as moving in with him, since you did ask, I would say no, take things slow. Also you know how they say you can tell what a person is like by the company he keeps - or his friends (something like that :o)   So sit back and observe for a while and see who he considers as "nice." That will tell you alot about him. "Bad company corrupts good morals." My husbands friends are all as nice as he is, so I have always been happy about that. At this stage of the game, we don't go out as much as we used to with people, but when we do, its always a pleasant time.

And your b/f does sound like a good guy to me. Just take it slow so that you don't get hurt. And if you do get married someday to him, make SURE you are with him long enough to have had several "disagreements" before you marry.

In marriage there will always be an argument now and then and IF the couple has only seen the goodie two shoes side before they marry, they will think the spouse has "changed so much" AFTER they married them, when in reality, you only saw their good side while dating. They held back the "stuff." ;o)  Everyone should let their hair down before marriage, not wait until after.
Then that way you're not in shock if your husband gets angry with you after your married.
The best advice I can offer anyone is "be yourself" while dating and let the "newness" wear off BEFORE a committment of marriage. This way you will know for sure.

Find out how long his other relationships were for and what were the reasons for break up.Breaking up takes too much energy for me, I don't know how you feel about that. So thats why I say cruise along slow - and enjoy each phase of your relationship, let it grow slowly and the roots will go deep and be able to withstand all storms that may come your way.
I wish you the best!

[babypooh]

Wow, that's another BIG step. Ummmm, it's up to you, but I think you should take it slow. Don't give him a definite answer and see where you are in your relationship next year.  You barely convinced yourself to give it a try, don't run before you start walking, honey. Who knows, perhaps by then you WILL be ready, but don't give him an answer yet; if you change your mind later, you'll hurt his feelings :) Good luck and congratulations once again.

[PhoKISonYOU]

He wants me to move in with him when he moves and gets settled in his new apartment. He's moving in March and I told him maybe in May I'll move in, idk, what do you think about that?

[babypooh]

Woo-Hoo!!! Congratulations! I'm happy for you and hope that this guy is the one for you since he's so nice to you. Take your time and enjoy everything.  Hopefully one day you will live closer to each other :)

[PhoKISonYOU]

Alright ladies and gents, yesterday we got into a conversation about relationships and the conversation got deep. I slipped and said the 3 words! I know I am in love, but you know how your in love to the point it scares you because it's something beautiful and your scared to give your heart to someone? He's already said the 3 words to me but I could never say it back! I finally did and I feel soooooooo much better. This morning while he was at work he called me, like normal, (he works at the airport where he lives and he has to be at work at 6am) and asked me out again and I accepted. So I'm officially dating him now :giggles: I feel like I'm on cloud 9 right now, idk why though! Any other advice you ladies and gents want to give me is very helpful!! BTW, thanks to those that have replied with advice, I took your advice :waves:

[babypooh]

Letting go of the past is hard, but necessary in order to move on and be happy.  Please don't deny yourself the opportunity to be happy; this guy sounds great. You don't want to let this pass you by and wonder what could have been. If for whatever reason it wouldn't work out, it's still a wonderful experience to have because he's a good guy. Good luck and I hope you decide to give him a try :)

[Myown]

If you like him, I think you should say yes to being his girlfriend AND its nice that he wants to take care of you. Thats the only way it should be. Don't let your last relationship hold you back from being happy with this man. Take it slow and get to know him and expect good things to happen and they will.

Good luck!