hubby and video games

[mommy27]

Okay---I am 28 yrs. old and have been married for 9 years. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids. The problem is my husband bought the dreaded xbox360 when it first came out. He was really great as far as playing it but he didn't have xbox live yet either. He got hooked up with live this year in Feb. and became obsessed!! He works in the oil field so he's off a week and on a week. On his off time, all he does is play the stupid xbox! He plays from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed! We don't have sex anymore b/c he can't seem to get off long enough to spend time with me. He gets upset if u walk in front of the t.v. (God forbid he die on the game!). He got real good about playing only after the kids and I went to bed. BUT, Halo 3 came out Monday night at midnight. He went to the store to get it (at midnight) and played all night long. Now, all he plays is that game. I hate the xbox so much. I hate looking at it. I hate hearing it. I just HATE it! He says that I stay on the computer all the time, but that's b/c he plays video games all the time and I have nothing else to do. When the kids are here, we practice their sports and do school work. But when they are at school, I do stay on the computer b/c I'm bored. He did agree to do "family night" on Friday nights. We eat popcorn and watch movies with the kids which is great. But after they go to bed, it's game time! Am I being to needy? Should I back off a little? Any advice as to what I can do to get him to understand that xbox is consuming him would be nice. He claims that he can go a day without playing but I haven't seen that yet. I need advice. Thanks!

[mommy27]

My hubby bought the Halo 3 also. It was ghost recon 2 at first but the new game has taken over. He also preordered it and was up there at the store at midnight getting it. What a nerd!!!!  We should start a forum for wives whose hubby's play xbox360 all the time. What do you think??
Anyway, like I said he got off so I better enjoy it!!

By the way, I wanted to name my daughter Bailey but dh refused. So I bought a min pin and named him Bailey! (Teach him to tell me that!) Love the name!!!

[Mother of bailey]

Thats a good idia about starting a form...lol..bet we would get lots of ladyes,,,


I named my son bailey...love the name dident relize that most baileys are girls...hope he dont hate me when he growen..lol

[Trialanderror]

This whole scenario seems to become so common. All these families torn apart by video games and the like. Games are addictive and if you want a change, it has to be dramatic. I have heard all those promises before. Oh, just one more game and sure, I can stop anytime. Yeah, right. And family nights sound like a nice downpayment but the urge of the game addict to get back to the game always wins. It would be tempting to blow up the whole equipment but that will not get the message across. Rather demonstrate what a withdrawn gamer husband does by withdrawing your own input into family life. No laundry, no cooking, no outings, no attention for anyone but the kids and you for a while. Either he wakes up to the feel of losing his family and becomes more involved or it is a lost case. As with all addicts, I find it hard to discuss such matters. They tend to pull their own legs. As for the family night, I too would avoid spending it in another screen night, not even movie theatres. Leave the house. And if you are already into all kinds of sports, do the opposite. Go out to a restaurant, all of you or go hiking and re-discover nature. Anything that makes you communicate. I found that with "my" domestic game addict it temporarily helped to drag him out for a walk. It is amazing what nature can do. The screen zombies wake up when breathing fresh air remembering how long it had been since they last saw a sunset or the beauty of a forest or mountains. But it does not last long. The moment you are home, the box is back on and you are forgotten. Sorry to be so negative but I have come to the conclusion that whoever choses to tune themselves out via TV or online games or Xbox while having a family should rather be alone.

[mommy27]

We had a talk about the xbox last night and I told him how I felt. So, he said that he will only play after the kids and I go to bed. He didn't play at all last night so that is a huge plus!! another huge plus is....he surprised my daughters with Hannah Montana tickets....They came in the mail saturday.....my oldest almost started crying! I am so proud of him for getting tickets for them....Maybe he is trying to get involved with the family again....I told him that I felt like we were just living together and he said he didn't want me feeling like that.....we are going on a "date" saturday night. I am so looking forward to that....anyway, thought I would give an update....thanks to everyone that gave me advice!!!

[Barbarella]

I'm not making light of your situation.  My husband used to play a lot of computer games, he still does, but not as much.  Our son used to play with him, our kids are now grown.  As much as I hated it I always thought at least he is at home, and not out in some bar, picking up women, getting STD's. driving drunk, getting a DUI, go to jail if he shall hit or kill somebody while driving drunk, losing his job over it.  

I don't think I'd have the nerves to worry every night should he be in a bar.  Trust me, there are tons of men who do that every night.

Men are still kids inside.  Playing computer games, unless its Porn, brings the little kid out in him.

[bedtimestory]

I totally agree with you. Especially the very last part. It's true that one would rather have their partners on the computer or in front of the tv playing stupid games than getting drunk or STDs out on the streets. Barbarella, you have a very good point.

Nevertheless, I just think these things shouldn't happen at all. Playing games every day as if you did not have a wife or as if she were invisible is not a good way to go. But I agree with what you say and perfectly understand your point.

Truth is....there are more addicted men than women when it comes to playing games on the computer. My boyfriend even tells me that those games are not stupid because THEY MAKE YOU THINK where the enemy is hiding and so your brain is actually functioning. I feel like hitting him hard with the first thing I see everytime he tells me that.lol