i want nothing to do with sex

[mommytoaj]

Ever since I became pregnant (my daughter is now 5 months old) I have had pretty much zero interest in sex. I'm pretty sure (although, its a distant memory, so long ago!) I actually liked, enjoyed, even found pleasure in sex before pregnancy. I've almost been second guessing that and wondering if I only wanted to do it back then because it was this..new and exciting activity to explore! (which it definitely was) I was only sexually active for a short time before getting pregnant, so I don't have too much experience to refer back to. This is really difficult for my husband. I make a point to not "give in" when i'm not feeling at all up to it, because it definitely can't be healthy. But still, the last several times has only been because I feel that I can be "up to it" and because I love my husband and want to do something nice for him. I still don't enjoy it. Its "not pleasurable" at best, but usually it just feels weird, uncomfortable, and if we continue for too long, gets painful. There have been times when I'm "in the mood" so to speak, but I still don't want sex, because I know I won't enjoy it and for those times, I'd much rather "take care of it myself" because it'll be so much better! Occasionally, sex will start feeling somewhat pleasurable but I won't "chase it" and try to encourage the feeling because if I do finish, then it becomes way too uncomfortable to continue at all and I'll want my husband out of me immediately. But when the whole reason I'm doing it at all is to make my husband happy, to evict him before he's done defeats the purpose. Vicious cycle :(

It has nothing to do with lack of opportunity or being tired because of the baby. She's very easy going, sleeps well (and easily) so we can have alone time easily, and she sleeps great at night so its not being tired. I am breastfeeding exclusively (no plans to stop before she is 2) and have not gotten my period back. So I know my hormones aren't the same as before pregnancy. Ahh, I should also mention I did have a c-section so it has nothing to do with needing extra time to heal. Will I get my drive back once my period comes back? I want to want sex so bad

[Wear/a/Jimmy]

Thus far, it has not come back for my wife, it has been 3 years now. She makes it a point to make me feel bad about wanting sex.  As if I do not deserve it or something.

For instance, we were moving some funiture around the house. I said, if people heard this, they would think we were having sex.... "

Her reply was.... don't give me any our your c=rap....


So needless to say I don't any more, we sleep with in different rooms, and on occasion when the situation allows, I sleep with a different woman. Not even out of sex, but mostly out of the need of being touched/held again.

Am I proud of it? No, can I change things.... No? Is there a sollution, nome that I can think of.

At the very least you care, my wife does not seem to find a need for sex, or think that my needs are important.  

So be careful, because if this does not get rectified, one day you may just find that your husband has gone to other places to get what he needs.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Breast feeding always curbs my sex drive as well.  Your new role as parents is often a dampener as well.

A great book is "Intended for Pleasure"  it is very informative and to the point.

Also, try differant positions, that might help with any discomfort you are feeling.

Romance ebbs and flows in a marriage, but it is vitally important and you should make resolving this issue a priority.

[PJ565]

I would ask my doctor to check my hormone levels. I found out recently that mine are all wacky and they affect so many things, one being sex drive.