i'm at a complete loss

[jordynnn]

my boyfriend and i have been together for two years, and i moved in with him about six months ago from my home state, which is a three hour drive away. when i first moved in, everything was great. we got along, we had sex often and we were happy to be around each other. but recently, my boyfriend has gotten extremely distant. i have to beg him to touch me, hug me, or kiss me. when i tell him that i love him, he mutters "i love you too" in a stupid-*** voice that is barely audible. we haven't had sex sober in almost four months, and when we do have sex, either one or both of us are drunk. and for several nights in the past couple weeks, i would go to bed and wake up a couple hours later and he wouldn't be in bed, so i'd go downstairs to see what he was doing and he would be sitting in front of the computer, watching porn and masturbating. it absolutely broke my heart because he constantly tells me he's "too tired" to have sex with me, but he can sit up til four in the morning watching porn. i've tried to tell him how i feel and give him ultimatums, but he doesn't care if i leave and has even threatened to kick me out himself. now i have no idea what to do. i love him with every fiber of my being, but even friends and family members that i haven't seen in forever are telling me i don't look happy and i seem like my personality has been stifled. i don't want to move back home, but i can't stay here with him if he's going to treat me like this. does anyone have any ideas how i can talk to him and get my point across? i need some help, please.

thanks.

[amberd5191]

Giving people the "or else" never works. More or less that is usually what they are looking for to get out. It sounds to me like he is bored...come right out and ask him...

Best wishes!

[heatherlynn22]

well....those are your only 2 options. either move home, get a job and save money to get your own place OR stay with a man who would rather watch porn and pleasure himself then have sex with you. be miserable and unhappy and have him threaten to kick you out. personally i'd go for option 1. just pack your stuff and leave. go home....start over. it sounds like he could very well be bored or does have the porn addiction like treazzure said. you could ask him to go for therapy but who knows if he will or not.

[treazzure007]

perhaps he's suffering from porn addiction.  only if he's willing to admit he has an addiction and wants to overcome it himself is the way that problem can be fixed.  

or maybe he's grown bored of you.  happens