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In-law rant!
I am so irritated and hurt. Me and my fiance got into it with his parents and younger sister last night. His sister just got back into town from atlanta and wanted to take our son (13 mo old) for a few days, from Thursday afternoon to sunday. We allowed it but naturally startrd to miss him but still didnt pester her or tell her to bring him home early. So we come to find out that tgey took him out of town without telling us then didnt bring him home til almost 10pm which of course had us worried oh and on top of that we couldnt get a hold of anyone. Then when my fiance says something all three of them start yelling and saying we have no right to say anything and that we dont need to know where our son is at all tomes cuz he is with them. And they blamed me saying that I instagated my fiance, which is exactly the opposite I told him to let it go and not say anything. i just cant believe they wont respect or acknowledge our feelings as his parents. Im sorry I dont care who you are grandparrnt or auntie that Iis my child and ehat I say goes period! This type of stuff hahappens all yhe time and they never listen to us or stop talking. I cant take it the stress is to much.
Lol right I dang near threw the phone acroos the room! They did most of this by phone!
"When we brought it up saying "we need to know where our child is at all times" they said "for what?"
Oh geez....that's when I would have to turn into my mother for a minute and answer...."because we said so!"
;0)
Oh geez....that's when I would have to turn into my mother for a minute and answer...."because we said so!"
;0)
Well said nursegirl. I completely agree. I dont know why they didnt ask but it wouldnt of been a problem all we ask is tgat you let us know so if something happens we know where you are. The didnt ask because they feel they didnt have to. When we brought it up saying "we need to know where our child is at all times" they said "for what?" Thatsvwhat did it for me.
Wow, sorry that happened, I'd be furious too. They showed total disregard for your feelings and your right to know where and how your baby is. Wonder why they didn't just ASK if they could take him to visit the great grandma? Do you think maybe they thought you would say no?
As for his family stirring the pot, saying that you're instigating your fiancee, ignore them, that's nonsense. Hopefully, if the situation comes up again in a convo, your fiancee can set them straight on that. He definitely needs to take a stand with them and set some boundaries for sure.
Dr. Phil has explained in these kinds of in-law situations, the person whose family it is is the one who needs to do the majority of the communicating and limit setting....meaning it would be up to HIM to deal with them, rather than YOU.
Hopefully this will blow over soon, and hopefully they will understand why you were upset. This could have all been avoided if they just communicated with you guys WHERE they were going and kept you up-to-date on their new ETA when they knew they were running late. It's called common courtesy. My son is 8 and my daughter is 16, and I would react the same way now as you did with your baby. Our kids are our kids, and when they're not with us, we miss them and worry about them...that's human nature.
Take care hon.
As for his family stirring the pot, saying that you're instigating your fiancee, ignore them, that's nonsense. Hopefully, if the situation comes up again in a convo, your fiancee can set them straight on that. He definitely needs to take a stand with them and set some boundaries for sure.
Dr. Phil has explained in these kinds of in-law situations, the person whose family it is is the one who needs to do the majority of the communicating and limit setting....meaning it would be up to HIM to deal with them, rather than YOU.
Hopefully this will blow over soon, and hopefully they will understand why you were upset. This could have all been avoided if they just communicated with you guys WHERE they were going and kept you up-to-date on their new ETA when they knew they were running late. It's called common courtesy. My son is 8 and my daughter is 16, and I would react the same way now as you did with your baby. Our kids are our kids, and when they're not with us, we miss them and worry about them...that's human nature.
Take care hon.
7yr and 13 mo but hospital rules no kids under the age of 16 allowed. They have special visiting hours after baby is born. Depending ob when it happens my oldest has school and middle of the night ect. And if they cant come back there is no point in making them wait in the waiting room. We will see I may change hospitals.
How old are they? I'm sure you could have them In The waiting room w your man... I have a 4 yr.old and 16 month old. I'm debating a vbac and thinking about having my 4,yr old in the room.
Definitely lessoned learned. Im looking into it I have no family out here there all in oregon but im going to ask my sister to come out to help us out we will see. If push comes to shove mt fiance will have to stay with the boys while I deliver id just hate to go through that alone
Lesson learned no more letting them hangout with your kids alone. Period.
Is there amyone who can come stay at your house with the kids while you go hospital?
I am done as of right now they cant take my kids at all! Now I just need to figure out what to do when I go into labor! But I know we will figure it out. They were suppose to take the boys but I honestly cant trust them to do what I ask and thats not ok. I dont need to be worring about my 2 older ones when im trying to give birth!
Wow just passing him off like that. Ya you definetly need to know that. And no car seat man I understand there from a different time but still. Why do they think they have the say just because there family or the gradlndparents. I just cant believe that people do these things how am I younger and more reasonable and responsible!?!
Something very similar to your situation happened to me, to make things short, my mother n law decides to take my daughter in her car without a her car seat. She doesn't respect me and does the contrary to what I say. The only difference is that at least your partner spoke up and said something. My husband just stays quiet and never says anything to his mother.
My mother in law was like that with our son like she would take him which was fine it's the only grand child that she is allowed to see because my husbands brother don't let her see his kids. But anyways she would take him give us a couple day break. Then we find out that she is letting her boyfriends mom have him for the night having his cousin take him out letting some other people who she knows does drugs watch him. My husband went off on her saying that she needs to tell us who has our son and why she doesn't. She acted like it was the worst thing in the world because we told her she couldn't have him anymore if she wasn't even actually going to keep him just hand him off to people. So she wouldn't budge but after about 2-3 months she finally said she would ask us if she could let my husband cousin have him and always watch him. So we let get have him again and she has respected our wishes since. They had no right to yell at you and act like they have more say than you.
Thank you for all the support im in California but to me no matter where I am me and his father have and of course the lord are the only ones with a say as to what happens with our children. I think im more shocked at the fact that none of them are seeing the big picture. I mean they had 2 kids and themselves and his sister has a 3 yr old so I just cant believe they have no understanding. And now they are saying we burnt our bridges they are acting like they did us a favor by taking him. They asked not us them! They bought a pack of diapers and sock and are trying to throw that Iin our face.
Don't let them take the kids again. I don't know if you said where you said where you are at but I lived in Florida and now in Tennessee and in both places the mother has the say. I had a similar problem with my husband's mom and finally after she said she had the right to do what she wanted because she was their grandmother. I told her she had to earn the right and until they were 18 I was the only one who had rights. I told her if she had a problem with it or did not believe me I would take my kids leave her son and they would never see them again. She did not believe me so I packed my stuff and kids loaded them into a uhaul truck. I had decided to move here to tn my husband jumped in the truck and invited himself on my move. Now she acts like I did this horrible thing... I had more issues with her than you are having but put your foot down and that is that..
No I agree with you. They had no reason to get that upset..
Sounds like they broke some trust with you guys, I would not let them babysit for a long time after this.
They need to restore the broken trust and show their respect and responsibility.
Sounds like they broke some trust with you guys, I would not let them babysit for a long time after this.
They need to restore the broken trust and show their respect and responsibility.
My sister took my daughter 5 for a day ... along with her boy who's the same age. She was supposed to meet me halfway between our houses at a certain time... two hrs late and not answering her phone I was livid too... she's never had her again since then.
I completely understand your upset. .. you dunno if there was an accident etc.. its awful.
They need to learn respect toward you... I wouldn't let them have my kids again.
I completely understand your upset. .. you dunno if there was an accident etc.. its awful.
They need to learn respect toward you... I wouldn't let them have my kids again.
Right, I mean I was raised that when you have kids what you say goes! Bottom line is I have dealt with with them for 2 yrs and kept my cool but this is unexceptable, I just wish I could say something but no matter what I say or do nothing gets through, they sure as heckwont be taking any of my kids Iintil I get the respect I deserve as there mother!
This is the thing im worried about too with my family. My mum and sisters brush off anything i say and dont acknowledge my wishs.
Whoo wee! I just got upset with you. If it was me, and my in laws didn't answer the phone, I would've called the police! That's my child that I labored with and brought into this world! And shame on your in laws for not respecting you. Yeah, surely it will be awhile before they would have the chance to babysit your child. Your trust has to be established again. That's not cool.
Not to mention I have 7year old and am almost 9mo pregnant now. The hurt and stress is killing me on top of the anxiety and restlessness I did not need this at all.
Thank you, its ridiculous you know they actually told us that the govern my fiance and my sons life! I just cant wrap my head around it. They all have kids or had kids yet still react this way. They took my son to visit his great grandmother 2 hours away which isnt a problem but you need to let me know.
You have every right to be concerned and to feel the way that you do right now. If there is a next time in the near future, set ground rules and if they violate them I would tell them that if they can't respect your wishes then they will only get to see your children while you are present.
Wow. I cannot even begin to imagine. That was terrible. I can't imagine ever taking someone else's kid out of town without talking to them. I'd be downright livid!!
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