Aa
need support
just having a hard time im dealing with an opiate addiction and 6 months ago my hubby left me and our daughter in ohio and moved to colorado with his x wife im just broken hearted and its real hard not to use drugs the way i feel 1 of the reasons he left was bcuz of the pills so i went on suboxone after he left and im in group therepy i just dont kno when this will go away we were 2gather 12 yrs
those r my intentions i try to only focus on my daughter and my sobriety but its just hard when ur used to having that person thats always there to talk to . idk i feel like an idiot if i was looking from the outside in i would say move on. you can do better then him. but when its someone you love deeply its not that easy i kno what i need to do. but i really do miss him more then i ever thought i would.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Stay focused on yourself and your sobriety as well as your kids. Give that your full attention. I wouldn't date anyone at this point. You are too vulnerable now to be in a romantic relationship. If you are going to meetings, you are meeting other sober people. Look for people to be friendly with in that group. Try joining something where other moms would be. Do you have any interest in going to church? Take baby steps and reach out gently to see who is out there that can be supportive. peace and luck
thank u every1 group therepy is part of my sub treatment. i cut all my friends out bucuz they r all addicts so i dont really hav any now. he was my best friend. i just didnt think this would happen. he was far from perfect but i loved him so i dealt with his flaws. he just gave up on me. it dsnt seem fair. even after all the lies and possable cheating i still love him, but we will not b back 2gather i thought that for the first couple months but not anymore i just dont kno how to move on.
I'm not sure whether or not your husband is necessarily long gone. Stranger things have happened, I mean maybe there's a chance that he would come back. He left his first wife for a reason, how do you know that there isn't still that bone of contention. I almost don't want to say this in case you end up holding out a hope that reconciliation is possible. But it may be. I certainly don't think that is what you should be thinking about though. You are very capable of landing another husband and step father for your daughter. Just keep dealing with the addiction, as you are. Be open minded about coping tools when dealing with the depression. It's still very early on in your separation, and it's going to take time for you to get stronger, so cut yourself a break. It's normal for you to feel discouraged at this point, but time to start letting go and letting in , others. Concentrate on making some friends out there, and having some good times. Do you have any girlfriends to do things with? That's important. You are going to heal with time. Get yourself ready by continuing to work on your addictions, and your depression. I'll be praying for you. Keep posting, We care. Liz
Group therapy! Good idea, specialmom! That would allow you to realize that there are many people going through what you are going through. Finding out that you aren't alone in this can be real helpful.
All of this is going to take work, but the depression needs to be treated....
All of this is going to take work, but the depression needs to be treated....
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sweetie, one of the things about addiction is that it so very often goes hand in hand with depression. Often people use because of the root depression or anxiety they feel and then the addiction takes hold and it is just a vicious cycle.
You've stopped the addiction aspect------ or are working on this and THAT is wonderful. The other piece of it is learning NEW coping skills for depression or emotions that you've buried under your narcotic use.
I'm so glad you are in therapy. Group therapy is awesome for the addiction issues but also hope you are working one on one for depression. This would benefit you so much, I can't tell you. Treating depression if it is of a clinical nature is essential. This is often done in a combination of ways including antidepressant medication along with talk therapy. You'll also really benefit from discussions with your therapist about how to handle bad days, the blues, being sad, frustrated and mad. Coping skills can be learned and that will be important to work on.
Having a journal is helpful. You can write in this journal all that you feel inside so that you are 'letting it out'. It's a release. Write at bad times, write at good tims. Just write to release it. Eventually you may see patterns--- what triggers a bad day or a bad episode. And then you can problem solve for those triggers. Example--- you are lonely on Sunday afternoons when you see lots of couples about. So, you start making a plan for yourself on Sundays to keep yourself busy so that you have less time or opportunity to think about this (you go to your sisters for the afternoon, you take your daughter to the park, etc.--- whatever it is, you distract yourself).
It is really important and beneficial to get physical exercise. This releases the brain's natural 'happy chemical' --- it is good for mind, body and soul. When you are feeling down, put on some music and run in place, go for a bike ride, a walk . . . etc. It helps keep the nervous system regulated overall to have plenty of exercise.
Stay busy. Plan things for yourself and your child.
Volunteer. This is really helpful for the psyche to give of one's self to others. There is an emotional componant to that that benefits someone who is depressed or trying to overcome an addiction.
Break ups are indeed hard. Sadly, your using drugs had the major consequence in that you lost your relationship. Work on yourself now so that you can get to a new place. good luck and peace
You've stopped the addiction aspect------ or are working on this and THAT is wonderful. The other piece of it is learning NEW coping skills for depression or emotions that you've buried under your narcotic use.
I'm so glad you are in therapy. Group therapy is awesome for the addiction issues but also hope you are working one on one for depression. This would benefit you so much, I can't tell you. Treating depression if it is of a clinical nature is essential. This is often done in a combination of ways including antidepressant medication along with talk therapy. You'll also really benefit from discussions with your therapist about how to handle bad days, the blues, being sad, frustrated and mad. Coping skills can be learned and that will be important to work on.
Having a journal is helpful. You can write in this journal all that you feel inside so that you are 'letting it out'. It's a release. Write at bad times, write at good tims. Just write to release it. Eventually you may see patterns--- what triggers a bad day or a bad episode. And then you can problem solve for those triggers. Example--- you are lonely on Sunday afternoons when you see lots of couples about. So, you start making a plan for yourself on Sundays to keep yourself busy so that you have less time or opportunity to think about this (you go to your sisters for the afternoon, you take your daughter to the park, etc.--- whatever it is, you distract yourself).
It is really important and beneficial to get physical exercise. This releases the brain's natural 'happy chemical' --- it is good for mind, body and soul. When you are feeling down, put on some music and run in place, go for a bike ride, a walk . . . etc. It helps keep the nervous system regulated overall to have plenty of exercise.
Stay busy. Plan things for yourself and your child.
Volunteer. This is really helpful for the psyche to give of one's self to others. There is an emotional componant to that that benefits someone who is depressed or trying to overcome an addiction.
Break ups are indeed hard. Sadly, your using drugs had the major consequence in that you lost your relationship. Work on yourself now so that you can get to a new place. good luck and peace
i am getn help with my pill addiction i am in therepy i am a great mother i just cant stop thinking about it and crying at work and every where else i just dont think i will ever fall in love again in him leaving me was the reason i sought help for my drug addiction he was my first and only love i hav never been through a break up i spent my entire 20s with him he still wants to b friends for our daughter its just so hard
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. It must be a real difficult time. Sobriety comes first. You have to take care of you so you can take care of your child. No other way around that. Sobriety can be found but it takes a lot of work, but in order to deal with the other things in life, you're being sober is of the most importance.
You "just don't know when this will go away".... I'm assuming the feelings regarding the relationship? Probably never, but being sober and getting some therapy for this will make living life easier.
You've got a series of steps to make. This starts off with sobriety. You need that to take care of your child and to make good rational decisions about your health and future. Second is getting help coming to terms with this failed relationship. There's not much you can do to change what happened. It already happened and it is in the past. It sux to look at it that way, but that is the harsh reality.
It's also important to know that you cannot control other people. Your husband might very well be long gone, but that is not your story or what you are about. Change the tide of this story. This story includes you getting healthy, being strong, and moving on with your life......
Good luck, and please speak to your doctor for some professional help. It all begins right there and you may be surprised at the amount of help that is available if you just look around a bit. This help will not come to you and there are no miracle cures.... work, and a lot of it are necessary. All of it is doable.
You "just don't know when this will go away".... I'm assuming the feelings regarding the relationship? Probably never, but being sober and getting some therapy for this will make living life easier.
You've got a series of steps to make. This starts off with sobriety. You need that to take care of your child and to make good rational decisions about your health and future. Second is getting help coming to terms with this failed relationship. There's not much you can do to change what happened. It already happened and it is in the past. It sux to look at it that way, but that is the harsh reality.
It's also important to know that you cannot control other people. Your husband might very well be long gone, but that is not your story or what you are about. Change the tide of this story. This story includes you getting healthy, being strong, and moving on with your life......
Good luck, and please speak to your doctor for some professional help. It all begins right there and you may be surprised at the amount of help that is available if you just look around a bit. This help will not come to you and there are no miracle cures.... work, and a lot of it are necessary. All of it is doable.
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