Aa
relationship problems
I guess im asking if im making the right choice? to make a long story short . my husband has a drug problem. ( crack) he was clean for three years .. and withing the last 2 and a half years has had about 10 so called slips one just this past weekend. i kicked him ut for 4 days . now letting him back cause he said hed go to counsiling and meetings. is that wrong of me? i love this man . i cannot understand how and why he can keep hurting me and our daughter like this . the last month has been hell . he has been raging like hell . every weekend is constnat arguing . finally end result he took off and used again .he even brought a drug dealer back to the house. he was sitting in my kitchen .do i trust him . do i give him ANOTHER CHANCE. is love making me blind. i havent eaten .. slept hardley at all for 5 days now. im trying so hard to do the right thing. he keeps teling me that he has no where to go. im very sad and confused.and bieng torn two different ways.i dont understand why he keeps going back to the crack . when life isant that bad here . he has everything he could want.why?????so there it is.am i making the right choice . letting that man back in. or am i bieng blinded by his words.?i need all the advice i can get.his anger is so horrible, mentally that is. its making me physically ill.im so lost and confused and scared. please someone give me some good advice.my family says leave him . my heart says stay . help him . crack is the worst drug ever . one day he may go and not come back at all. anyhow . thats my question. thankyou
yes i have a family member who talked with the police abouther husbands disappearance. he would go and party for days then return. the police said even if she didnt know about the drugs and they found ANY in the house child protective services would take the child. please consider that. if you try to stay you know it will be a long long life of living this way. i have seen my family cry and look at scuzzy motels in the druggy part of town looking and searching for him. talk to your family or do try a shelter. yes it will be hard for a bit, but you get to keep your child healthy and with you! i know its hard, just think about it.
LISTEN TO ME, YOU CAN NOT TRUST A DRUG ADDICT UNTIL YOU ARE CERTAIN THEY ARE CLEAN. DRUG ADDICTS WILL LIE AND STEAL AND DO ANYTHING TO GET THEIR FIX, INCLUDING GET VIOLENT, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. YOU CAN'T REASON WITH HIM BECAUSE IT'S NOT HIM YOU ARE TALKING TO, IT'S THE DRUGS. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER AND LEAVE. GO TO A FAMILY MEMBER'S HOUSE. IF THAT IS NOT AN OPTION, GO TO A WOMEN'S SHELTER. WHATEVER THE CASE, GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE HE STARTS PUTTING HIS HANDS ON YOU. IT'S ALREADY CHILD ENDANGERMENT HAVING YOUR CHILD IN THE HOUSE WITH A DRUG USER, BUT A DRUG DEALER WAS IN YOUR HOUSE TOO???? YOU ARE ASKING FOR MORE TROUBLE IF YOU STAY AND THIS WILL HAVE TREMENDOUS EFFECTS ON YOUR DAUGHTER FOR YEARS TO COME IF YOU CONTINUE TO SUBJECT HER TO THIS. SHE IS AN INNOCENT PARTY CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE AND SHE WILL GET BURNED IF YOU CONTINUE TO ALLOW THIS. LOVE IS BLIND, BUT YOUR DAUGHTER SHOULD MEAN WAY MORE TO YOU THAN ANY MAN. YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU TO STAY, BUT LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD. ULTIMATELY, IT WILL BE THE BEST DECISION YOU WILL MAKE. AND IT WILL KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER SAFE.
I agree! I was a stay at home mom married to a cocaine addict who went ount on benges because he knew I could stand him on drugs. My daughter was 2 when i left and i left w/out evening having a job. I stayed at a relatives and slowing starting picking my life up and getting it together for my daughter. It's been 3 years and its been hard. I've had to have lots of help. But where there's a will there is way. I've a met a wonderful man who has just taken me under his wing. If you leave eventually it only gets better, if you stay BELIEVE me it only gets worse. Make a life for you and your daughter.
Thank you. your words are kind. I just get so emotional when i hear storys like that. i do not wish a life like that on my worst enemy. I know the anserew is easy for me (LEAVE HIM) but people who hasn't been through it doesn't realize drugs are the devil It will almost never get better. I am praying for her.
Please don't let "not having a penny to my name" be the reason you stay in that harmful relationship. There are many resources for situations like your..
you could contact your local Department of Social services, Salavation Army, Department of health and human services.
there are things like temporary Section 8 (a program that pays your rent while you get on your feet.) Housing by income. You have to take the step. We can tell you what we think is right but you have to be the one who actually does it. Please look into these resources, if they can't help you ask them who can. there is some one who can help with the money situation.
you could contact your local Department of Social services, Salavation Army, Department of health and human services.
there are things like temporary Section 8 (a program that pays your rent while you get on your feet.) Housing by income. You have to take the step. We can tell you what we think is right but you have to be the one who actually does it. Please look into these resources, if they can't help you ask them who can. there is some one who can help with the money situation.
I just read that you are a stay at home mom. Do you have any relatives, friends, or someone you can stay with? Do you have access to child care?
Maybe there is some assistace that you can sign up for if you explain the situation. There is always some way, you just have to make it a priority.
Maybe there is some assistace that you can sign up for if you explain the situation. There is always some way, you just have to make it a priority.
Wow.
All I have to say is wow. You are to be commended for your bravery and for being so strong. I think you gave the original poster some great advice, and alot to think about.
You're my hero today :)
All I have to say is wow. You are to be commended for your bravery and for being so strong. I think you gave the original poster some great advice, and alot to think about.
You're my hero today :)
Answer to one of your questions, YES, love is making you blind.
I understand you love this man, but he obviously cares more about his next fix than you and your daughter. It is unhealthy and dangerous to have your daughter in that type of environment. God forbid the police go to your house for what ever reason and find drugs there. You will be arrested too and your daughter will be taken away by the child protective services.
You may very well be able to work things out and have a great relationship with your husband, but he needs help first. He will only respond to that help if he wants it and obviously he doesn't right now.
Kick his a*% to the curb and tell him that he isn't welcome back until he goes to an inpatient treatment and comes out successful. You do not need to compromise. Somebody needs to worry about what's best for your daughter!
I understand you love this man, but he obviously cares more about his next fix than you and your daughter. It is unhealthy and dangerous to have your daughter in that type of environment. God forbid the police go to your house for what ever reason and find drugs there. You will be arrested too and your daughter will be taken away by the child protective services.
You may very well be able to work things out and have a great relationship with your husband, but he needs help first. He will only respond to that help if he wants it and obviously he doesn't right now.
Kick his a*% to the curb and tell him that he isn't welcome back until he goes to an inpatient treatment and comes out successful. You do not need to compromise. Somebody needs to worry about what's best for your daughter!
Hi, this is a very hard qeustion. I am going to anserew it by telling you a story. A story from a daughter, sister and best friend of a drug addict.
From as long as I can remimber almost all of my memories of my dad is bad. My dad was a drug addict. Anything from pot, crack, meth you name it. I am 23 years old now and I still get emotional telling this story. All my child hood I grew up scared. My dad started out smoking pot, then he made his self up to crack. Smoking it, shooting it up.... At 4 you shouldn't know that your dad is high and that you need to go to your room and hide. My dad started out mentally abusing my mom and it eventually escalated to physically abusing her. I have countless memories of hiding behind a couch on my knees praying to God that he would stop and when he did that my mom would be alive.Most of the fights were because he couldn't get the drugs. My mom wouldn't give him our grocery money or her diet pills or whatever other lame excuse. Know one starts out doing drugs everyday and your husbands slips are not going to stop. Please let me tell you that meetigs are not going to help. From personal experience, before it gets to bad try to get him into a treatment center atleast 90 days. My sister and 2 brothers are now drug addicts in and out of jail.
Wheres my dad today? Long story short, he did 8 years straight in jail. Longer than 90 days huh? He was a drug addict for over 20 years, the day he got out he had a drugs night. 8 months later I found him dead on the couch of a overdose.
Please do not put your daughter throuch this.. God I can not stress that enough.. I would do anything not to have these memories and would die so my daughter never will. Right now your going through nothing compared to what you will be if he doesn't get serious help. TODAY. If not for you, atleast for the person who you love most.
How old is your daughter? Do you want her to grow up to be a drug addict or some one with the worse memories possible? She deserves to be protected and it's your job to do so. I am not trying to be harsh but there is know othere way to word it.
From as long as I can remimber almost all of my memories of my dad is bad. My dad was a drug addict. Anything from pot, crack, meth you name it. I am 23 years old now and I still get emotional telling this story. All my child hood I grew up scared. My dad started out smoking pot, then he made his self up to crack. Smoking it, shooting it up.... At 4 you shouldn't know that your dad is high and that you need to go to your room and hide. My dad started out mentally abusing my mom and it eventually escalated to physically abusing her. I have countless memories of hiding behind a couch on my knees praying to God that he would stop and when he did that my mom would be alive.Most of the fights were because he couldn't get the drugs. My mom wouldn't give him our grocery money or her diet pills or whatever other lame excuse. Know one starts out doing drugs everyday and your husbands slips are not going to stop. Please let me tell you that meetigs are not going to help. From personal experience, before it gets to bad try to get him into a treatment center atleast 90 days. My sister and 2 brothers are now drug addicts in and out of jail.
Wheres my dad today? Long story short, he did 8 years straight in jail. Longer than 90 days huh? He was a drug addict for over 20 years, the day he got out he had a drugs night. 8 months later I found him dead on the couch of a overdose.
Please do not put your daughter throuch this.. God I can not stress that enough.. I would do anything not to have these memories and would die so my daughter never will. Right now your going through nothing compared to what you will be if he doesn't get serious help. TODAY. If not for you, atleast for the person who you love most.
How old is your daughter? Do you want her to grow up to be a drug addict or some one with the worse memories possible? She deserves to be protected and it's your job to do so. I am not trying to be harsh but there is know othere way to word it.
Hi, this is a very hard qeustion. I am going to anserew it by telling you a story. A story from a daughter, sister and best friend of a drug addict.
From as long as I can remimber almost all of my memories of my dad is bad. My dad was a drug addict. Anything from pot, crack, meth you name it. I am 23 years old now and I still get emotional telling this story. All my child hood I grew up scared. My dad started out smoking pot, then he made his self up to crack. Smoking it, shooting it up.... At 4 you shouldn't know that your dad is high and that you need to go to your room and hide. My dad started out mentally abusing my mom and it eventually escalated to physically abusing her. I have countless memories of hiding behind a couch on my knees praying to God that he would stop and when he did that my mom would be alive.Most of the fights were because he couldn't get the drugs. My mom wouldn't give him our grocery money or her diet pills or whatever other lame excuse. Know one starts out doing drugs everyday and your husbands slips are not going to stop. Please let me tell you that meetigs are not going to help. From personal experience, before it gets to bad try to get him into a treatment center atleast 90 days. My sister and 2 brothers are now drug addicts in and out of jail.
Wheres my dad today? Long story short, he did 8 years straight in jail. Longer than 90 days huh? He was a drug addict for over 20 years, the day he got out he had a drugs night. 8 months later I found him dead on the couch of a overdose.
Please do not put your daughter throuch this.. God I can not stress that enough.. I would do anything not to have these memories and would die so my daughter never will. Right now your going through nothing compared to what you will be if he doesn't get serious help. TODAY. If not for you, atleast for the person who you love most.
How old is your daughter? Do you want her to grow up to be a drug addict or some one with the worse memories possible? She deserves to be protected and it's your job to do so. I am not trying to be harsh but there is know othere way to word it.
From as long as I can remimber almost all of my memories of my dad is bad. My dad was a drug addict. Anything from pot, crack, meth you name it. I am 23 years old now and I still get emotional telling this story. All my child hood I grew up scared. My dad started out smoking pot, then he made his self up to crack. Smoking it, shooting it up.... At 4 you shouldn't know that your dad is high and that you need to go to your room and hide. My dad started out mentally abusing my mom and it eventually escalated to physically abusing her. I have countless memories of hiding behind a couch on my knees praying to God that he would stop and when he did that my mom would be alive.Most of the fights were because he couldn't get the drugs. My mom wouldn't give him our grocery money or her diet pills or whatever other lame excuse. Know one starts out doing drugs everyday and your husbands slips are not going to stop. Please let me tell you that meetigs are not going to help. From personal experience, before it gets to bad try to get him into a treatment center atleast 90 days. My sister and 2 brothers are now drug addicts in and out of jail.
Wheres my dad today? Long story short, he did 8 years straight in jail. Longer than 90 days huh? He was a drug addict for over 20 years, the day he got out he had a drugs night. 8 months later I found him dead on the couch of a overdose.
Please do not put your daughter throuch this.. God I can not stress that enough.. I would do anything not to have these memories and would die so my daughter never will. Right now your going through nothing compared to what you will be if he doesn't get serious help. TODAY. If not for you, atleast for the person who you love most.
How old is your daughter? Do you want her to grow up to be a drug addict or some one with the worse memories possible? She deserves to be protected and it's your job to do so. I am not trying to be harsh but there is know othere way to word it.
Do you believe that your safety is at risk? If yes, then I would try to stay with a friend or relative for awhile.
If you feel like you want to give him a chance, have a plan ready in case he screws up again. Do you have any source of income? Disability payments? It would be wise to put some money aside if you do and also would be a good idea for you to get some counseling to help you through this process.
thats just it .... i have nothing i am a stay at home mom. if i leave i do not have a penny to my name. and on top of that the other reason i dont work is i have alot of health problems. i have pvc;s of the heart . also in the last two and a half years i have had 6 surgerys one of them mayjor. im still seeing a doctor . anyhow . like i said he dmands that everything is his. he says hes going to get help. counsiling and go to meetings. do i belive him ? its a hard situation.
Is it wrong of you to demand that your husband not do crack and risk your marriage and his and possibly your life? Heck no ! Your husband made a conscious decision to do this drug, knowing the risks and therefore, he has put your marriage, happiness and safety at risk. That is unacceptable, in my opinion.
Unfortunately, there is very little you can do to help someone with a crack addition. The best thing you can do is help yourself and your daughter. Do you have enough money to move out ? I don't think it is a good idea to live with someone who is a crack addict... you & your daughter's safety is at risk.
Let's hope for his sake, your husband will get help and check himself into a rehab facility. But please don't count on it... do count on yourself and take care of you & your daughter right now.
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