the unspoken rule

[she90]

if you read my previous posts, you will see its about my ex
i keep finding things out and then something happens
like last week, I found out he wasnt even single when we got together, he was still with his gf. The now ex girlfreind told me this. We had emailed after me and him broke up and she had told me how he was speaking negative about me and ym family, and then i found out last week that he had been cheating on her with me, and that they had just gotten back together recently, as while she was away he cheated on her again.their relationship is long distance as was his and mine so i  guess he was all good not getting caught.
It makes me sick though, that meant he was cheating on me.its hard to grasp as my first relationship was a lie.

2nd thing that happened, he has now gone onto my flatmate/best friend.
She didnt think anything of it, i got so angry when she told me i called home and booked a ticket for the next day.it hurt so much for her aned and him to not even consider how i would feel.
I thoight she would be a etter friend and realise you should never go out with your friends ex, esp as he is my first love and i still mention him heaps and have trusted her with every ive said aboutt he breakup. and i hate him more thn ive ever hated anyone, he confirmed tht he was taking her for lunch etc

i just got back from home today
id been talking to friends at home about what had happened and they found it odd and also knew of the unspoken rule.dont go near a frends ex
my friend thinks im voer sensitive, shes never had a boyfriend to know what its like to have a breakup and be messed up and lied to for this to then happen

but then tonight we were talking as if none of it had happened and i wa advising her on making sure she duznt rush into things, to be herself etc etc

am i going crazy,am i in denial aboutt e whole thing and it will hit me in the face?
coz 4 days ago i was crying and shaking coz i was in so much pain
i have no reason to trust any friends close to me anymore
im just confused
any advice or thoughts welcome

[imanaddict]

That guy is scum, plain and simple! You are better off without him. As for your friend, well, she isn't much of a friend to do that to you. I'd let them both go and go find friends and a new boyfriend who are worthy of you.

[ConnieG]

My friend and I had a similar problem.  I was staying over at her house because I was sad I had just broken up with my bf.  And while I was staying at her house crying about him, he called her and asked her out.  She said yes. I was so angry.  And I almost wrote her off as a friend.
Yes, there is an unspoken rule about not dating a friends ex.
But there is also a rule about how boys will come and go but good friends are forever.
She is still my best friend 10 years later and the boy is long gone.
Just think of it this way.  He wasn't right for you, something about you two didn't click well and it's probably best you didn't get back together.  What if it IS right with them.  Do you want to keep them away from each other if they're meant to be so you don't get your feelings hurt?  And if it's not meant to be, she'll feel really silly dating a guy you complained so much about, you'll say I told you so, and he will be long gone and 10 years from now maybe you will still be best friends with her.
See.  In the grand scheme of things, it's really not that big of a deal unless you make it a big deal.
Good luck :)