need advice

[love138]

There's this  guy who likes me. He is a friend of someone in my family. My relative told me that this guy likes me but  he doesnt want me to date or talk to him because it is his friend. My relative told me that this guy keeps asking about me but everytime i try to ask him about his friend he just jokes and says that he doesnt want me  to date him but also jokes about him being my "boyfriend". I dont mind getting to know him but how can i convince this relative to let me talk to his friend? I understand why he doesnt want me too(b/c it will feel weird) but yet im still curious as to why he keeps telling me this guy likes me.

[specialmom]

Hey love, thanks for coming back and updating us.  Always to hear 'the rest of the story'.  

Now you know and you'll have no regrets.  good luck dear

[love138]

i dont think that he was really interested in me to be honest....i was just curious to know what would happen if he was ...i think he just thinks im pretty or whatever and was saying he was "interested" to my relative to tease him..the guy never said anything to me when i was around him about being "interested" unless he's nervous or something..but i really wasnt taking it serious to begin with..i still dont know why my relative told me this in the first place ..he could have kept it to himself..the guy isnt all that. He does seem like a cool guy but not for me at all.

[luckymommy13]

Well at least you know now and you don't have to keep thinking about the what ifs! I'm glad you seen that before you started to give him a chance. Best luck to you

[love138]

ok so i finally know why my relative doesnt want me to "talk" to him..i got a chance to hang around him..he's the type of guy you will keep in the friend/associate zone...he seems like a cool  guy but definitely not dating material..well atleast not for me..i just hope that my relative doesnt joke to me about him anymore..

[love138]

Yeah i'll just leave it alone for now and see if something happens down the line..im not sure if anything will but you never know...

[love138]

lol, i do tease him back..but i dont think any drama would start between us if i did go out with his friend b/cwe're not like that..he tells the guy "no its not happening" and he tells me the same thing but it seems as if this guy still asks about me..but yeah i'll leave it alone for now (its hard b/c im kinda interested in knowing him but yeah i'll back off for now..lol)

[specialmom]

I personally think that the one's that are interested like that ---  that don't really know you but know your relative and have 'seen' you often end up liking you for the wrong reasons.  go out with someone that you have gotten to know first.  This is the best chance to finding someone you are really compatible with.  good luck

[NOHARD]

Hi Love, What ever you do for the next few is don't talk about him, if he wants you, let him do the chasing, him going through a relative, he's just digging around your edges, to see how you feel about him, looks and so on, just go cold on him tell does the proper thing, comes to were you are, let him come knocking, see if he sends a note or makes a phone call. best thing for you is to go mom on him.
Hope this bit helps.
Good Luck

[specialmom]

I'd tell him that if he doesn't stop mentioning it, you WILL go out with his friend.  Tease him right back.  But try to find someone else to go out with so that no drama starts.  good luck

[Life360_Dave]

Hes just teasing you. Like holding a carrot in from of you but you cant reach it. Just having fun with you. Hes probably teased you most of your life.

[love138]

I think so too. I think he likes the fact that his friend likes me and is trying to make me feel good but he doesnt want me to be with him..but why mention it in the first place and continue to bring it up? now it keeps me wondering and the guy wondering...

[love138]

thanks...he told me that his friend is a good guy and is interested but, he keeps telling me to find someone else but yet continues to tell me about him anyway..why keep bringing the guy up if you dont want me to talk to him? honestly i would like to get to know the guy..maybe even go out with him just once (who knows he could be "the one") but at the same time im trying to respect my relative and stay away from him...if this guy keeps asking about me, why not give it a chance? i dont know im confused...i know theres plenty of fish in the sea..i dont want to upset my relative but my relative is upsetting me by mentioning this to me in the first place..what should i do?

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, i think hes clearing the field in case  you meet his friend by chance that he does not want you to date him. I think his hes telling you his friend likes you because he is proud of you and trying to make you feel good but on the other hand wants to keep it from happening.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, I'm not sure why your relative keeps mentioning it.  I'd just not talk about it with you if I didn't want you to date someone that I was friends with.  The truth is, sometimes that can be wonderful and sometimes it can be terrible.  Your relative may worry about then becoming the third wheel and that he'll be in an odd place with his friend.  OR that the guy is secretly a jerk and your relative knows this and doesn't want to subject you to that.  OR that it could go bad and that would be very awkward for everyone (as many dating situations do go bad and someone gets hurt feelings, just reality).  Other times, this can work out great!!  Who knows what the situation here would be.  You could talk to your relative a bit more in depth in terms of what his true objection is.  go from there.

BUT, there are also a lot of fish in the sea.  Lots of guys probably think we are cute in our life and 'like' us.  Is it worth upsetting your relative?  I'd rather just move onto another fish in the sea than to pursue something that I don't actually have a true crush from knowing them myself first if it upsets a family member.  

good luck