Panicked!!!

[frederick772]

I have posted here before and thought I was reassured but now I feel like I'm back to square one!

I had fully protected sex with two SW's at the end of January - a one off, crazy, bout of madness!!. I was due to meet my wife at the end of February and needed to know the risk of STD's or HIV. These forums and even the doctors forum I posted on all said the risk was very low and advise I should resume normal relations with my wife.

Even that wasn't enough so I went to see a doctor in the middle east who tested me for all the normal STD's and all tests came back negative.

I have no symptoms, then or now..

I met my wife in Feb and we had sexual relations. I then returned to the middle east. Everything was fine, and though still wracked with guilt I was working on puttin this whole stressful and depressing episode behind me.

Howeve, I met up with my wife again and she has just told me she has a strong irritation in her vagina and she is going to see her doctor for a full medical exam. This has occurred in the last 2 or 3 weeks. She is an ex nurse, has obviously discussed it with an ex colleague who is also a nurse and she thinks it is thrush.

I am now frantic!!!!

I have posted on the doctors site and again they think it is highly unlikely it is an STD.

What else could this be? I am praying this is just coincidental but what if its not???

Any reassurance would be greatly appreciated

[Vance2335]

You had protected sex...condoms work. That is what you need to focus and not looking for symptoms because you will find something that is not normal and then think you have an STD. And the thing that is not normal might be normal or might have just been caused by anxiety.
Symptoms is never a good way to try to identify a STD when you have this much anxiety.
I would receommend testing just to clear your mind
Gonorrhea/Chlymida-1 week post exposure
Syphilis-6 weeks posts exposure
HIV 3 months post exposure
Herpes-4 months post exposure

[frederick772]

Hi

Thank you for your kind and supportive words.

This forum has been the only outlet for my worries and fears and has proven invaluable - I don't know what I would have done without it!

The good news is that my wife has had her (very thorough) examination and she has a slight thrush infection for which the doc has prescribed some cream. There was nothing that caused any concern whatsoever. The doctor took a general swab and said that she would get back to my wife if there was anything of any concern.

Obviously this is a great relief BUT...

Almost immediately I am starting to worrry about things like - what if it's not thrush? what if the swab shows up something?

I am not by nature a panicker or worrier but I am really struggling to get closure on this.

Will there be a point in time when say after three months, if no symptoms have appeared for my wife or myself, I can move on? (I am going to get an HIV test after the three months mark for peace of mind)

It just seems to be that as soon as I feel reassured in one area, I start worrying about something else?

I read this stuff and start to feel I'm getting neurotic - is this, as you have said, simply guilt - I am still deeply ashamed with myself and don't know if I can forgive myself for putting my wife and my marriage at risk.

From your experience with other people, are these feelings normal and when can I expect to move on with my life?

[auntiejessi]

Trust me, if a woman thought for a second that you had cheated on her and gave her something, she would let you know.  ;)

Aj

[frederick772]

You're right.

I am feeling helpless and out of control - the one person I usually share any troubles with is the one person that must never know! I just feel there is no end to this thing.

As a woman and experienced nurse, do you think my wife would know if this was anything more than thrush? She seems very matter of fact and relaxed about it and in many cases in the past with relatives, friends and themselves, she and her friend are accurate in their diagnoses of ailments.

I am praying that this is bad timing and I'm blowing it way out of proportion as I have been doing with every other cough, sneeze, spot or rash that I have or she tells me about.

I am now really afraid that she sees me worried and panicking and begins to suspect I am hiding something from her......you see, it never ends.....

[auntiejessi]

Guilt doesn't equal risk.  What you are feeling is guilt.  You had protected sex.  Remember that, ok?  

Since you are feeling helpless and out of control, its time to see a counselor.

Aj

[frederick772]

Thank you for your reply.

You are right when you say to take this situation as a warning!

I agree that if she thought there was anything sinister, she would tell me, or if she suspected this as an STD, she would get the test done and then tell me about it.

Since I did this stupid and reckless thing I feel my life is not my own. I live in constant fear and guilt and feel that there is just no end to this.

I know this extreme anxiety is common among people who contibute to these posts but after two months of living like this, it's beginning to get me down.

[kgirl87]

If your wife is an x nurse and thinks that it's thrush, she's probably right.  If you were tested and your results came back negative, within the time frame it's unlikely that they missed something.  One of the things that could have been missed is siphilis as it has a window period of 3 months.  Siphilis symptoms usually include the development of a sore which your wife probably would have noticed and mentioned given her background.  She's going to get checked so there isn't much you can do now but wait.  It's probably just bad karma that this overlapped so closely.  Take it as a warning not to get yourself in this situation again.