Emotional/Psychological and Dating Effects of Having Herpes...

[shrn]

I'm fairly certain I'm hsv-2 positive, but have to wait until October for blood test confirmation.  I'm frustrated because we did everything right...he was on daily suppressive therapy, we used condoms, we abstained during his outbreak.  It was only a month long relationship that ended and now I think I have herpes.

I guess I'm just dealing with the emotional/psychological consequences now.  What have people's experiences been with telling new partners? Have you been rejected for this? Have you ever passed it on to anyone...if so how did that feel? Is there a sex life after Herpes? I know people on here have said yes, it's just hard to believe. It's hard not to feel somehow flawed. I walk down the street and wonder now who has it and who doesn't and feel rather alone, even though logically I know that 20% of the population has herpes.

[gracefromHHP]

I'm a big fan of TTO myself. I make my own douches out of it ( 1 oz warm water and several generous shakes of the TTO bottle ).  I just use a bulb syringe and irrigate my vagina with it once a day. It seems to help a lot with the irritation of bv and seems to clear up the bacteria too. Mind you this is not anything that has medical research behind it supporting it.  It's what I've found works for me.

You can buy femdophilus by jarrow ( check out their website ). Take 2 pills a day for 5 days for bv. It also helps to restablish the "good" bacteria in your genitals to fight off vaginitis and uti's (  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=17045832&ordinalpos=3&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum )  I order it online because I couldn't find it in a natural store near me.  This time of the year though you have to pay extra for shipping in cold packs due to the heat. Be sure to store it in your fridge.  

There is a study that showed that peroxide douches were helpful for clearing up bv. Forget how long you have to use them though.   They did the study looking for a cheap way to treat bv in under developed countries. I wouldn't use them more often though than the 2 weeks I think the study said you need to to treat bv.  I still think you should return to the clinic for a full work up since you aren't sure what is going on.

Hope you are feeling better soon :)

grace

[shrn]

thanks grace. you've eased my mind a bit.  they didn't test for bacteria and I thought of that immediately after I left. I had a vaginal bacterial infection in January and the burning was pretty similar.  The "bloody discharge" was actually spotting for my period that came over a week early. Since I really wasn't expecting it, I thought it was an added symptom...although perhaps the early onset was a part of things?

I guess i've mostly been concerned about this raw patch, fissure, and tiny (the doctor didn't see it, but I did with a mirror) ulcer. Those are new symptoms for me. Can those be caused by the stress of a yeast infection? It's just on one side.  Sounds herpe like in a lot of ways.

Another question: I had a vaginal bacterial infection in January (allergy to spermicide) and a facial bacterial infection in March (freak sore....looked beautiful!). The antibiotics made me really queasy both times and caused yeast infections, even though I tried to prevent them.  Is there a homeopathic treatment for bacteria? I've heard tea tree oil and garlic work for yeast, do they also kill bacteria?  A midwife told me once to use a combination of hydrogen peroxide and water to kill bacteria, but I read awhile ago in another post of yours that you would never recommend using hydrogen peroxide on the vagina because it's so harsh.  Any other ideas? I'll defiinitely take antibiotics to take care of this if I need to, just wanted to know if there are other options.

Thanks!

[gracefromHHP]

Did they also do any bacterial testing on you - strep b and also for other std's? You mentioned a bloody discharge in a previous post.   I know it's hard - uti symptoms and then a yeast infection that seems to be worse than usual so of course since you are with a hsv2+ man you are thinking herpes.  You are using condoms. He's on suppressive therapy.  The risk is pretty low.  If it's been more than 2 weeks after treating your yeast infection I'd return to the doctor's office for further work up.  I'd also ask for a urinalysis too to make sure you took care of that uti too.  

grace

[shrn]

No, I had posted earlier in the forum.  I've had symptoms. I waited a bit too long for the swab and the doctor said there wasn't anything really to swab at that point.  If it was an outbreak, it was mild (I've had mono...would that lessen symptoms?). The doctor couldn't rule it out.  The other possiblity was an UTI immediately followed by a yeast infection.  The nurse did find yeast.  I have one raw spot a "fissure" the nurse called it--with lots of burning and itching.  So I guess it could go either way. I have to wait 3 months and I guess I'm trying to prepare myself emotionally for a possible positive result.  I'm not making assumptions, because I do think that statistically the numbers are on my side. I've just never had a yeast infection that feels like this, so I'm not sure what else it could be.

[gracefromHHP]

What makes you think that after 1 month while using condoms and him taking daily suppressive therapy that you must have herpes now? Are you having symptoms? if so you should be seeing the doctor for a pcr swab of them. Are you just assuming that you must have herpes now because he did?

grace

[skinsosoft]

I just wanted you to know that your not alone, I too think I have been exposed to herpes, I have been with my childs father for 10 years, we have had owe up's and down's (like any relationship) and both have seen other people (sexually as well) I dont know how may people he has been sexually active with during our apart moments, but for me I can say there was only one partner, who I found out is married, I have to wait until 8/15 to talk to my doctor for testing. being said all of that, If I do have herpes I am scared shitless on how to tell my childs father, the person I want to spend the rest of my live with.If you would like I can keep you posted on what happens when I go to the doctors and the reaction in my relationship............. anything to help because I know how your feeling.

[Wear/a/Jimmy]

There are actually Herpes Positive Dating groups on the net.

At least then you are not passing anything, and you also have nothing to try to shelter about. It is a sad world, but I think that is something that I would do in your shoes.