Steve -
Haven't I answered all of these questions for you, and PLEASE keep all of your questions to one thread.
AJ
Unless you get obvious cold sores there's no way to know if you only have hsv1 genitally or if you also contracted it orally. the few studies we do have on this do show that many folks have hsv1 both orally and genitally but those only looked at folks with obvious cold sores so the actual number is likely to be higher.
so what do you do? well first off your partner needs tested. If your partner is already hsv1+ then no worries - just avoid sex during obvious genital symptoms. Their own hsv1 infection gives them significant protection against contracting hsv1 on other body parts. If they don't have hsv1 then talk about how they want to proceed. It's totally up to you what precautions the two of you want to take.
grace