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Protected sex with Asian masseuse

I am married male and wife is away on work. Had a crazy weekend where I went in for a massage and had protected sex. These are the things that happened 1) Kissed on my lips 2)I was licked on my balls 3)BJ with condom on 4) Intercourse with condom on. I am freaking out because I have never done this. What STDs have I been exposed too? What is the risk factor? I very concerned about mine and my wife’s health. What tests should I take?
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Avatar universal
You should get tested for EBV (could have reactivated).  Also test for HHV-6 and CMV.  These are all herpes viruses and spread even if you are wearing a condom (by skin touch).  EBV will cause the same symptoms you are experiencing.  
Helpful - 0
HHV-6, also called roseola and sixth disease, is a very common childhood infection and is not a concern for the OP.

EBV and CMV can be transmitted by kissing, of course, which is the only real risk the OP had.

This is an old thread - well over a year old. Whatever he had - likely anxiety - has resolved itself by now.
Avatar universal
What kind of condom did you used?
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Avatar universal
Thank you Auntjessie!! You have been amazing. I was in a bad place emotionally when this happened. I did not go in to do it. My wife has been my only partner until this encounter in my 10 years of marriage.
I agree to every word you said, but I do need a closure and confirmation of what I have and what I don't  have, else I will not be able to move on. Hence, the testing.

I also have a sensation of a hot penis and a constant weird feeling inside my shaft. Also, it was burning when I ejaculated yesterday. Is it an infection? Should I get tested for trich or any other bacteria? How can I have an infection inside when the whole encounter happened with a condom on?
Helpful - 0
There isn't an STD that causes a feeling of a hot penis. That's usually anxiety.

Burning with ejaculation, though, can be from prostatitis. You could also have irritation if you are dehydrated, had a lot of alcohol, not enough water, etc., etc.

You had protected everything. Remember that you had no risk for thing that would cause these symptoms.

You weren't at risk for trich since the head of your penis was covered. You can't have an infection inside since you used a condom.

I understand the need for closure, but you have tested negative for everything, which is not surprising because you used condoms for everything.

Remember that guilt does not equal risk. I understand why you are feeling guilty, but that doesn't mean you have an STD. Have you ever heard of catastrophizing? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/29/stop-catastrophising-expert-guide-psychologist. Talk to a counselor if you need to, but science says you are fine.
Hi AuntJessi,

I think I have an infection now. Since the last time I posted, I had the below symptoms

- constant pain at the base of the shaft and behind the balls. It worsens when I stand for long hours.
- I have constant urge to pee, more like there is something in. Also constant discomfort.
- I do have lower back ache but I did have it because of a slipped disc.
- I had oral thrush and feverish feeling for few days. Temp never went beyond 99.
- I have constant urge to pee, more like there is something in.
- No sores or blisters. Also no discharge.
- Since yesterday I have been experiencing warm feet.
- Pain in testicles

I went to Urgent care and retested my urine sample - It was positive for nitrites and negative for leucocytes. It is being sent for chlamydia, gonorrhea and Trich. I need to convince my PCP on Tuesday for a Microgendx and Mycoplasma genitalium PCR test. Dr also checked by testicles and they were painful. Infact that is the pain behind my shaft I think.

My symptoms are not debilitating but have constant discomfort. I have taken NO medication till now since strong symptoms emerged since Oct 21, as Dr was prescribing  a shot of Azithromycin or 1 time oral. I declined since I have not been tested for Mycoplasma genitalium. I am concerned of the infection spreading. Can I wait for another week to complete all testing?

I am not sure how did the infection creep in since everything was protected. She did wipe my penis with a hot towel after removing the condom. I am unsure if this was it.
You don't get oral thrush for a few days.

No STD causes warm feet.

Perhaps you have a prostate issue, or a UTI, but this is NOT an STD. Nitrites in your urine usually indicate a UTI, not an STD.

You also don't get STDs from a towel.

If you used a latex condom, you were protected. Continue to work with your doctor to determine the cause. You don't have an STD.

Was he offering you a shot AND azithromycin? He was probably trying to treat you for gonorrhea and chlamydia, which is a shot and azithromycin. You don't need either, nor do you need testing for mycoplasma. You used a condom.

Is he doing other urine testing to look for other bacteria in your urine besides STDs? If this guy isn't, then make your PCP do it.
Avatar universal
Any other STI tests I need to take? I want to be as sure as I can be. Since I do not want to infect my wife and complicate her pregnancy. I am also planning to get the full panel test again with 3months of post exposure date.
Helpful - 0
Oh dear god, your doctor is as alarmist as you are.

First, they didn't perform some of the HCV tests because you don't have antibodies. If you don't have antibodies, you don't have HCV, so there's no need to do further testing. It says it in the notes.

You didn't need an HCV test in the first place because it's very rarely transmitted sexually, and when it is, it's usually by unprotected anal sex. It's ONLY transmitted by blood.

Your HIV test is conclusive because you had protected everything and never had a risk. You didn't need to test for this.

Your gonorrhea and chlamydia tests are conclusive for the same reasons, and because those are conclusive at about 5 days after exposure.

Your herpes test isn't conclusive until 4 months, but the chance that you got herpes while using a condom from a single, one time encounter is about 1 in 10,000.

Condoms offer significant protection against HPV. On the off chance that you have gotten infected, the only risks during pregnancy are if your wife has warts present during delivery and they are blocking her vaginal opening where the baby comes out. (That's an extraordinary situation.)

Like HPV, condoms offer significant protection against syphilis. Syphilis is also uncommon, so unless you get a sore, it's not something you need to worry about. If you insist on testing again, test at 6 weeks.

Of course, none of this is anything you need to worry about, but you are.

I don't know if there's a reason you did this just as you and your wife were getting ready to have kids, but that might be something you reflect on. DEFINITELY take some time and reflect on the anxiety this has caused. That's not a judgement at all - your choices are your own - but clearly your anxiety can't handle your choices. Just something to remember so you don't put yourself through this again.
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No STD causes a feeling of coldness in the penis. I'd guess this is anxiety and a hyper-awareness of your genital area.

You had condom-protected everything. While there is still a very small chance you can get herpes, HPV or syphilis (I wouldn't worry about syphilis - it's uncommon, and you can only get it if your partner has actual sores), the chances are low enough that there's no cause for panic here.

Remember that guilt does not mean risk. Your guilt may cause your anxiety to make you think all kinds of things. These things will likely not be true. Anxiety can also cause actual physical symptoms. Keep that in mind should you start having any.

Helpful - 0
Thank you!! You have reduced my anxiety in half. I really appreciate your response. I have booked for a STD test at local health center this week. Apparently they do not test for Herpes and HPV, I need to go to my doctor for this.  
There is no test for HPV for men.

Ask for a type specific IgG herpes blood test. DO NOT let them give you an IgM test. The IgM is supposed to be able to determine if you have a new infection, and it works well for other infections, but doesn't work well for herpes. It cross-reacts to some things, and can be reactive if you have a herpes recurrence, and is just a terrible test. My own was negative when it should have been positive, and positive when it should have been negative.

If your IgG is positive now for either type 1 or type 2, it means you had it prior to this encounter, as it can take up to 4 months to develop antibodies, though most will by 6 weeks. If you have type 1, don't freak - over half the adult population has it orally and around 90% will never get a cold sore.

Really, your chances of being infected with anything are very low. Just try to remember that.
Thanks a ton for your inputs. I just gave my urine sample for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.  I plan to consult my doctor next week and will make sure i get the right herpes test. HIV and Syphills will be after 3 weeks.
You don't need an HIV if everything was condom-protected, and the head of your penis was protected the entire time during intercourse. Oral sex is not a risk for HIV. Ordinarily, HIV tests aren't conclusive until 28 days if doing a 4th generation DUO test, but since you had no risk, test whenever you like. It will be negative.

Syphilis won't be conclusive until 6 weeks, but your chances of getting that are low. It's not a common infection.
If I were you I would not test at all. But if you must wait 3months
Testing for this type of  low risk encounter may actually cause you more anxiety. The chances that you got anything from what you describe have Are fractions of a percentage. I had a similar situation and testing made thins worse. I would put money down, based on what you described. That what you have is nothing but regret, over awareness of your genital area and anxiety
I totally agree with Jaime here. Testing could cause even more anxiety. False positives happen, and that would send you down an anxiety spiral that could last months trying to figure it out.

Thank you Jaime and AuntieJessi! I was very anxious of contracting an STD and infecting my wife. We plan to have kids soon. I did visit my doctor and he referred for full panel test.


          HIV 2 - TNP
          HIV ANTIBODY SCREEN - Nonreactive
          HIV 1 - TNP

RPR (rapid plasma reagin), serum
          SYPHILIS ANTIBODY   <0.10

         HEPATITIS C ANTIBODY - Nonreactive

          Notes: (No HCV antibody detected HCV RNA PCR testing was cancelled because no HCV antibody was detected.)

         HERPES SIMPLEX IGG I -   <0.01
         HERPES SIMPLEX IGG II -  0.29


I have requested for another complete STD panel test post 3 months of encounter to be conclusive.

My anxiety has reduced but I do want to get tested for peace of mind....

1. Why do some of the tests say TNP. Is it 'Test not performed'? Why didn't they perform the tests?
2. What are the tests that are not conclusive as of the test date  (10 days post encounter)?
3. What are the risks of infecting my wife with HPV and causing issues with pregnancy?

PS: I have no symptoms as of today (11 days post encounter) apart from two folliculitis bumps on my inner thigh.  

Avatar universal
I don’t have answers for you, but I feel for you as I have done similar thing for as you. I know your feeling of anxiety and being scared. Just wanted to say that.
Helpful - 0
Thank you! Did you get any STD/STIs after the incident? Any health issues? When did the encounter happen?
I have a lost in here. Story is long. So far no to std but gonna get retested. I think our guilt gets to us! I would listen to auntiejessie. She has really calmed my fears down
Avatar universal
No risk for STDs and no need for tests. Everything penetrative was protected by a condom,  so you haven't been exposed to anything
Helpful - 0
I have slight cold feeling in my penis. Not burning yet. But is it because of anxiety? I have been very anxious and thinking about it since it happened on Monday. Also, I am from US.
Dude, your experience was entirely condom protected right?  Oral and full sex?  Condoms work, you're fine.  Trust me I know how anxiety can play tricks on your mind, but you're fine
Yes, I am very sure that Oral and full sex was with condom on. It covered 3/4 of my shaft. I do think it is because of anxiety as it went away after sometime.
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