Hello all. Hope you are well.
I had sex in January. Protected sex. I received unprotected oral sex.
About a week later I got really really sick and broke out with some kind of genital rash. It tingled real bad and it hurt at first. It never really went away. It's been nearly a year now. Almost daily my genitals tingle.. mostly my testicles.. and they've been red ever since. The rash on my penis was shiny at first.. I remember that. It eventually lessened but the texture of the skin on my penis changed and never went back to normal. It appears thinner? and when I am not erect the skin is wrinkly/crinkly and it never was prior to this all. When the skin is pulled tight you can see lots of tiny red lines.. I guess veins.. but they're way more red than should be normal. There is also occasionally a diffused red rash only on the left side of the upper shaft. In the center about 3/4's up there is a slight redness that goes down to my testicles. Back in January, when I had sex with the girl, she accidentally scraped that part with her teeth.. ouch. But the redness never really went away. Overall my penis is sporadically itchy, but it never hurts. My testicles are constantly tingling and red, occasionally itchy. It's all just really a downer.
I got inspected and tested at 3 months. The doc didnt think it was herpes by looking at it. There have never been any blisters. HIV, herpes and the gamut of others all showed up negative. She also said all my other blood work looked great. I don't know much about that but she said everything seemed fine and suggested maybe it was a yeast infection or jock itch. I got some cream that was relieving for the itch, but only temporarily, and didn't do much of anything for the rash. Once I ran out the itching and tingling came back immediately.
At 6 months I got tested again and everything was fine on paper. The rash and tingling lessened but still continued and the doc didn't have any answers. She assured me everything was fine and it was probably just jock itch. I asked her if she was absolutely certain I had no STD's and she said yes. I made her promise me because I met a girl at that time. I believed her. I discussed with the girl my concerns but that the doc had given me a clean bill of health other than some pesky rash. I had sex with the girl, with protection, and then she called me a week later and said I think you gave me something. The emotions that went thru me at that time are unexplainable. I still have an immense amount of guilt because I believe the doc misdiagnosed me and I believed her and ignorantly passed it on. I havn't talked to the girl since and I havn't even considered having sex again with anyone.
About a month ago I went to a new doc for another try. I told him everything. He practically yelled at me saying I didn't have herpes. I told him I wanted to get tested anyway and he actually seemed to take offense to that. It was weird. He said if I had to get tested for mental health reasons then that's fine. HIV and herpes tests both came back negative.
Last week I woke up with a pain in my left arm pit. It was swollen. I assume the lymphnode. I also felt sick right when I woke up.. I coughed some and it seemed to pass. It was a weird sick. And it reminded me I've felt that way numerous times over the past year. The pain and swelling in my armpit has happened 4 or 5 times if not more in the past year. I've also had unusual rashes on my face and nose. Nothing major but nothing I ever had before this experience. At one point I also had a rash on my lower back that really hurt for a few days. All in all theres red flags everywhere that something is definitely not right.
I've fully accepted that it's most likely some kind of atypical herpes. I've read about that and it seems to all make perfect sense. Atypical herpes. What makes the most sense to me is atypical herpes which comes and goes, but in addition a male yeast infection or jock itch which continues to produce the itching and redness.
I have no idea why it hasn't shown up on tests.. if the tests weren't specific enough. If its some kind of new strain. I don't know. All I know, in reflecting upon the past year is I have some kind of STD. It's really simple.. I was in perfect health. I had sex with a girl. I got really sick and broke out in rashes after having sex. I've been sick with various rashes ever since. I had sex with another girl under false pretenses and then she got an itchy rash. My genitals are a daily reminder of this all. What doesn't scream STD about that scenario?
The struggle for answers is exhausting, heart breaking, world view shattering.. and well just flat out the worst experience of my life. My faith in modern medicine is lost. My hopes of falling in love are gone. It's just all completely depressing.
Bless any one who has actually read all of this. I know I don't have the attention span to read a lot of these posts. And I know these forums are filled with stress and anxiety and lots of rantings like mine out of emotion. So for those of you who care that much and take the time to comfort people.. and read novels of posts like this.. you are truly appreciated.
With all that said, I know what your replies will most likely be..
Herpes comes and goes, it doesn't continue everyday like in my situation. If my test results for HIV and herpes are negative after 9 months then they are negative. It's the stress and anxiety that's causing these things. I should find another doctor. It's irritation.
All I can say is I'm way past the point of over reacting. I'm on a mission of facts to solve a mystery, it doesn't scare me anymore. I've had no luck with doctors. I went so many times that they started laughing and saying things like "Oh you again". I've paid probably close to 2 grand in the past year on visits and bloodwork, and thats not including what my awful insurance paid.. and for my income thats a lot of money. In the hopes it was irritation I switched to unscented nuetrogena soap. I even went as far to stop masturbating for a few weeks.. which for my age and being single is a feet in itself.
If anyone has any idea at all.. even just a suggestion of what it might be for the next time I muster up enough will to talk to another doctor. Or if there is a specialist anyone can recommend that might have some idea of what is going on other than telling me what he or she thinks its not.. I would be grateful.
Apologies for the rantings. Congratulations for anyone whos read this far. Go reward yourself with something because you deserve it. Thank you.