abrasion on penis

[bojo34]

My husband gets a reoccuring sore on his penis.  He refers to it as an abrasion.  We had intercourse last week and within hours the abrasion had appeared again.  We don't think that it's herpes and he did ask a doctor about it a while back.  The doctor didn't think it was herpes but my husband has never had it looked at while he has the sore, and he hasn't had any tests done.  I brought it up that he should go in to see another doctor about it and maybe have a test done, but he isn't at all interested.  He seems to have the sore a lot lately and it affects our sex life.  I have had trich in the past, with a "chronic imbalance of bad bacteria" possibly due to being on lots of medications for chronic pain.  Do you think its possible my husband's sore is an STD?  Or is it just because he is getting older (50 now) and kind of large, so the rubbing causes an abrasive sore?  
thank you.

[AnnFarmer]

My husband and i just got married in December of last year. i was his first sexual partner. he also has the same recurring sore on his penis. It shows up in the same spot, this is the third time now. The first time it happened we went to the doctor and he just told us it would go away it wasn't anything serious just an "abrasive sore" to put some Vaseline on it. We did and it went away but this time its worse than ever and was not getting any better. I am 5 month prego now and at my last check up my OBG-YN told me i was having mild issues and needed to refrain from sex for a while so we have been finding other means of pleasure. We are thinking i jerked him a little too dry and that's the reason the sore is there. This is the shocker. Nothing we have tried physically to help it heal has worked, but we prayed for it and it is noticeably getting better. With God nothing is too big or too small and nothing is impossible.

[waringblender]

The grocery store isn't going to carry larger-sized condoms in the variety you want. Google "condom depot" for large-sized condoms.

Well, good luck. I think he should get checked simply because you are concerned. There's no way to know if it's herpes until then. I don't think it's necessarily infiidelity, since he could have brought it into the marriage. Have you been tested yourself for STDs, especially herpes? But it could also be something really benign that recurs, but only a doctor would know.

Also, I don't consider 50 "older."  :o) I'm out there dating at 48 and I feel great. And men are still looking. If you find out what it is that's going on, keep us posted.

[bojo34]

Hi again.  Sorry if I wasn't very clear.  My husband is already too fit and slender to even consider losing any weight.  He just has a large penis.  It seems the large size condoms we get at the grocery store are pretty tight, hard to get on.  But we do usually use a condom, ever since I've known him, and we've been married 16 years.  He says he is very sensitive and likes to use the condom so that he can last longer.  I think we have more problems than just this abrasion, but now that it has come up, I'm wondering if this has been a big part of what has kept things so closed off.  He said he had something similar before we met, and it went away.  Then it didn't come back ( at least not regularly, (but now I suspect that maybe he was having this off and on), until this last year, where it seems to happen a lot.  Is this a possible sign of herpes or trich,?  He doesn't get the abrasions on the head, but on the , is it called the base?  Anyways, I don't think he gets it from rubbing on his underwear or clothing.  It is either from the rubbing of intercourse or himself doing a hand job.  Once he thought it could have been from playing hockey, but we can rule that out the last several months because he has had a bad knee.  If there is a high chance that its an infection, I will insist that he have it checked out.  But I would like to know what I'm getting myself into here as if its an STD, and if it could not have been with him this whole time through the marriage, then there could be some serious results from addressing this (for the marriage).  I have no reason to suspect (at all) that my husband has ever been unfaithful.  He actually seems a bit shy in that area.
thanks.

[waringblender]

Only a doctor who examines it can definitively tell you what is going on. Of course, if he won't go to get it checked, there's not much you can do about it.

What you can do is use condoms while he has it in case there might be some risk of bacteria being passed to you. If that's what you are concerned about.

Weight loss would help him with the "large size" thing, too. Where is his penis rubbing because he is "large sized?" Granted, I don't date overweight men, but I just can't see how the penis is affected in terms of rubbing due to overweight. Unless it's just up against his briefs or something. ??

Ultimately, I think he should respect your concern about it and get tested for your sake, even if he doesn't care what it is, because it appears to be impacting your relationship in the bedroom. Good luck.