Aa
do you need to tell others about hsv type 1
I'm 22 year old male.
My mother gets cold sores since she was a child. She told me that her sisters and brothers also get cold sores and I have actually seen this. She also told me that my grandmother had also gotten cold sores all her life. She also told me that my youngest girl cousin of 10 years old has also gotten cold sores.
My family has always been extremely affectionate towards eachother and I have kissed all my relatives on the caually on the lips my entire life. I never ever thought twice about having an STD until about 2 months ago. I never had a problem with my penis ever. I went and had an STD test and it came out positive for hsv type 1. I really didn't remember having the typical coldsore mom gets and she said she cant either.
Question 1: how likely do you think it is I contracted this as a child.
Question 2: Am I expected to tell everyone for the rest of my life I kiss in a bar or take to the next level of sex that I have this even regarding the stigma?
Question 3: If the answer is yes, are you saying that my 10 year old sexual inactive cousin who Im sure knows nothing of stds must tell every man shes ever with she has hsv type 1.
Question 4: With my newly acquired knowledge I have spotted hsv type 1 on friends and family? I know they don't regard it as an std so why should I? I can't bring my self to smash there world and explain what they have? Anyone I have brought up the subject with says including my gf and a potential suitor said that you only test for what you think you have and my gf specifically said she never tested for hsv? So I'm the onyl 1 I know that has tested and now im having an ethical dilemma? HELP
Question 5: I examined my penis irrationally for 2 months after this and then realized it can be spread to genitals. How easily is this spread without the typical crusty oral hsv. Maybe just from asymptomatic shedding of the lips and then touching the penis?
My mother gets cold sores since she was a child. She told me that her sisters and brothers also get cold sores and I have actually seen this. She also told me that my grandmother had also gotten cold sores all her life. She also told me that my youngest girl cousin of 10 years old has also gotten cold sores.
My family has always been extremely affectionate towards eachother and I have kissed all my relatives on the caually on the lips my entire life. I never ever thought twice about having an STD until about 2 months ago. I never had a problem with my penis ever. I went and had an STD test and it came out positive for hsv type 1. I really didn't remember having the typical coldsore mom gets and she said she cant either.
Question 1: how likely do you think it is I contracted this as a child.
Question 2: Am I expected to tell everyone for the rest of my life I kiss in a bar or take to the next level of sex that I have this even regarding the stigma?
Question 3: If the answer is yes, are you saying that my 10 year old sexual inactive cousin who Im sure knows nothing of stds must tell every man shes ever with she has hsv type 1.
Question 4: With my newly acquired knowledge I have spotted hsv type 1 on friends and family? I know they don't regard it as an std so why should I? I can't bring my self to smash there world and explain what they have? Anyone I have brought up the subject with says including my gf and a potential suitor said that you only test for what you think you have and my gf specifically said she never tested for hsv? So I'm the onyl 1 I know that has tested and now im having an ethical dilemma? HELP
Question 5: I examined my penis irrationally for 2 months after this and then realized it can be spread to genitals. How easily is this spread without the typical crusty oral hsv. Maybe just from asymptomatic shedding of the lips and then touching the penis?
we ask that all herpes related questions be asked on the herpes forum. Why not start your own post over there about this so we can best help you? This post is an old one that you replied to - thanks!
grace
grace
I have a question. I just got my results from a HSV test today. I found out that I have genital HSV 1. I am feeling really depressed about this news. Because I have it in the genital area, how common would it be for me to contract oral HSV 1? I am 27 and never knew that oral HSV 1 could spread to the genital area. Sex ed needs to be broadened a bit more in school so people can be educated more. I have been talking to people around me and none of them even know that much about HSV1 and how spreadable it is.
I am somewhat angry and sad about this whole HSV-1 thing considering that I got it before I was even sexually active and NO ONE told me the whole story growing up. Why did I have to wait for the internet to come into existence to find the whole truth about HSV-1? Why have health workers been so bad about disseminating facts on this topic? I know it's not HIV, but it does limit the fullness of ones life. The fact that people don't call it an STD doesn't change the fact that it CAN be transmitted SEXUALLY!
So I am astonished that Yankeebaseball and I are the only ones on this forum who appear to see an Ethical problem with NOT telling someone BEFORE we kiss them that we have HSV-1. I hate the fact that this is true and it even makes me depressed sometimes because it truly limits my dating options, but it's it's right to do. I haven't been able to even go on a DATE since I've understood this, because I'm too embarrassed to have to bring it up. Talk about a vibe killer! But just because I'm embarrassed doesn't mean I have the right to knowingly put someone else at risk of getting this annoying virus without their consent. This is likely how I got it in the first place!
I realize that doctors and health workers don't see HSV-1 as a major problem and compared to the myriad of things they likely see during their practice, it's not. But in the interest of curbing unnecessary social suffering and the spread of HSV-1, I would have to urge them and others to advocate full disclosure between partners. I wish whoever gave it to me had been honest. This seriously bums me out.
So I am astonished that Yankeebaseball and I are the only ones on this forum who appear to see an Ethical problem with NOT telling someone BEFORE we kiss them that we have HSV-1. I hate the fact that this is true and it even makes me depressed sometimes because it truly limits my dating options, but it's it's right to do. I haven't been able to even go on a DATE since I've understood this, because I'm too embarrassed to have to bring it up. Talk about a vibe killer! But just because I'm embarrassed doesn't mean I have the right to knowingly put someone else at risk of getting this annoying virus without their consent. This is likely how I got it in the first place!
I realize that doctors and health workers don't see HSV-1 as a major problem and compared to the myriad of things they likely see during their practice, it's not. But in the interest of curbing unnecessary social suffering and the spread of HSV-1, I would have to urge them and others to advocate full disclosure between partners. I wish whoever gave it to me had been honest. This seriously bums me out.
I don't know about all that. I kiss my husband when he does not have a cold sore and I never got type 1 from him.
Oral herpes type 1 is not considered a std. It's not sexually transmitted - it's transmitted thru kissing ( and other ways in young children ). It's quite common - in the US over 60% of adults have it though only 20-40% of them ever get an obvious cold sore to know that they have it. Your family history of just about everyone having cold sores means it's a good bet that your own hsv1 infection is oral.
So do you have to tell? Well you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. That said - I think once someone has learned as much about herpes as someone who hangs out here regularly has is pretty much going to feel obligated to bring it up at some point with partners. Common sense does go a long way. If you are sick - don't kiss any children ( I should hope not anyone else either but in relationships we do still tend to kiss each other thinking we are all sharing the same germs anyways ). Should you feel any signs of a cold sore about to start - avoid kissing your partner unless you know they are also hsv1+ and don't perform oral sex on them. Just avoiding contact during symptoms and other illness goes a long way ( they don't call them cold sores and fever blisters for nothing - when you have a cold or a fever - chances are good your body's defenses are lowered fighting it off and you might be shedding the virus at that time ). As for partners - some folks tell before the first kiss while others never tell. It's up to you to make that choice. I know for myself I made the decisions to not talk about it before kissing but I do talk about it when I"m having my whole "talk" with a potential partner because it could be a factor for oral sex and since I"m talking about genital herpes anyways I feel why not talk about oral herpes too. Doesn't mean it's the right way to handle it - it's the decision I made for myself and I fully accept any consequences of it. If your partner is negative for hsv1 then discuss if you think barrier protection for oral sex is worthwhile or not. Keep in mind that you are not a walking biohazzard and are not contagious 24/7. Hsv1 still prefers the oral area even though it's the cause of about 1/3 of all new genital herpes infections. You are still more likely to transmit it to a partner's oral area than to their genital area but talk about it and let them decide what precautions they feel most comfortable with.
grace
So do you have to tell? Well you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. That said - I think once someone has learned as much about herpes as someone who hangs out here regularly has is pretty much going to feel obligated to bring it up at some point with partners. Common sense does go a long way. If you are sick - don't kiss any children ( I should hope not anyone else either but in relationships we do still tend to kiss each other thinking we are all sharing the same germs anyways ). Should you feel any signs of a cold sore about to start - avoid kissing your partner unless you know they are also hsv1+ and don't perform oral sex on them. Just avoiding contact during symptoms and other illness goes a long way ( they don't call them cold sores and fever blisters for nothing - when you have a cold or a fever - chances are good your body's defenses are lowered fighting it off and you might be shedding the virus at that time ). As for partners - some folks tell before the first kiss while others never tell. It's up to you to make that choice. I know for myself I made the decisions to not talk about it before kissing but I do talk about it when I"m having my whole "talk" with a potential partner because it could be a factor for oral sex and since I"m talking about genital herpes anyways I feel why not talk about oral herpes too. Doesn't mean it's the right way to handle it - it's the decision I made for myself and I fully accept any consequences of it. If your partner is negative for hsv1 then discuss if you think barrier protection for oral sex is worthwhile or not. Keep in mind that you are not a walking biohazzard and are not contagious 24/7. Hsv1 still prefers the oral area even though it's the cause of about 1/3 of all new genital herpes infections. You are still more likely to transmit it to a partner's oral area than to their genital area but talk about it and let them decide what precautions they feel most comfortable with.
grace
No. If you don't have an active herpes cold sore on your lips I wouldn't worry about it. Most people have or have been exposed to hsv 1. Same on my husbands side of the fam, everyone has it. On mine, no one had ever had a cold sore, ever. I wouldn't worry. Still, don't kiss them or anyone with an active cold sore even though if you are pos for it you will not get reinfected as you are apparently immune. Still, be cautious and careful.
I have kissed my mother and father to bed on the lips every single nite from when I was born Im sure til I was 18 and went to college. Every relative of my family. It's how I was brought up. It's how I run my life. I am an extremely affectionate person with my younger cousins altho since the test I barely kiss them now and they even lean in for a lip kiss because its what our family does. Even the 2 year old kids and no one in my family seems to have a problem except im sure when they have a cold sore. But any of use could be asymatically shedding. I actually kissed my mom when I seen she had them but stayed away from the sore in the corner of her mouth. I am extremely affectionate and intimate with kisses with every girl I have every been with and thats just part of who I am. Should I forget about this and just live life the way I always have. I actually wish I never got the stupid std test except for the fact it told me I was negative for everything else in the book.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
