I am testing for HIV, Chlamydia, Gonoreah, syphilis, herpes. I will take the HIV RNA test. I'm totally scare.
I have a test next Tuesday and I have taken Wednesday to Friday off from work to assimilate the results. I am afraid that if I have HIV that's the end for me. No way I can overcome something like that. I'm so stupid. I feel so frustrated.
You have no risk of HIV from oral sex. (Also, HIV is completely manageable and while no one wants it, it's not anything that that would cause your life to officially end. Many people with HIV life happy, healthy, fulfilling lives.)
Your risks from receiving unprotected oral sex are gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes type 1 (unless you already have oral herpes type 1), and NGU.
When you were tested for chlamydia (not a real risk from oral) and gonorrhea, they probably did a test for NGU - they look for white blood cells in your urine. When you get your results back, ask if they did that test. You can get it from normal mouth bacteria. (It's an infection in your urethra.)
Syphilis causes a sore on your genitals called a chancre. This can take up to 90 days to appear, but the average is 21 days. It can also take up to 3 months to test positive for this. The good news (and I do have some) is that syphilis isn't that common. You can find out how common it is where you are by googling syphilis rates and your state/province/country or city (bigger cities will have info on their rates more so than smaller towns).
You can find out if you have hsv1 already (if you don't already know - think cold sores or fever blisters) by taking a type specific IgG blood test. Take one now, and if it's negative, take one again at 4 months. 90% of people who have this orally (and at least half of the adult population has this orally) never gets an outbreak, so they don't know they have it. If you already have it, you can't get it again in another location.
Oral sex is lower risk than genital sex, but there is still a risk.
I also want to add that I have started to feel some pain and a little swelling on my lymph nodes. I'm panicking now. I praying that I don't have HIV