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Avatar universal

A guy in need of some serious sexual help...

Hello Everyone. first time poster in need of some honest and serious advice or solutions. any sincere help be it personal, medical or suggestive would be greatly appreciated, Thank you so much beforehand.

Heres a little about me. I'm a 23 years old male, 6'1", 200 pounds and very health and fit for my age and size. I'm also a bit larger then average coming in at 8.5 inches last I checked. I run occasionally but don't workout or play any sports, but I do swim and do water activities a good bit.

Now here's the problem.: Whenever I have sex with my Girlfriend, I last FOREVER and just CAN NOT orgasm! the feeling is spectacular, she is tight and wet, beautifully stunning and jaw dropping, the positions and movements are mind boggling, and the heat and sensuality and intimacy is anything I've ever seen. I just can't get to orgasm through sex alone. I love her and everything she does, and I too try the best in my abilities but I just can't reach that point where I am going to *** during sex. i can only reach orgasm if mine or her hand is used!

what really gets to me is the fact that I can through masturbation easily, but not through oral and vaginal sex. My girlfriend personally doesn't mind this and loves it because she gets to *** and usually gets off 2, 3, even 4 times before I just call it quits and finish myself off, sort of speak. This is really frustrating to me at times, i don't want to be a 1 minute man cumming too early, but i don't want to go forever either as it is very stressful and not fun at all. "Quickies" don't exist between us because of this problem, and I find myself getting tired and exhausted rather then what I should be which is happy, euphoric and satisfied.

I never did like porn, and when I do masturbate i go off of memories of my girlfriend, and at most some pictures of her and us. I love her and the connection we have. use of hands is about the only thing that i can get off to, and i have resorted to teaching her how to use her hands to please me.

I've tried sex with every type of condom imaginable, every lube variation out there, and without a condom too (we are both clean, love each other and want a child so its ok, don't worry!). I hate to work off of stereotypes, but i feel like the tables are turned here because usually the opposite is true (women takes longer or can't and the man can very easily). I've brought it up with her and she has been really helpful in trying to help me work this out. we talk about everything and have a very open communication relationship. the moment i had these worries i brought it up with her and we talked about it and she was very accepting and caring about the whole situation making me feel better about it.

I don't know if it is something psychologically wrong, or physically or whatever else that it could be. I'm always relaxed and comfortable during sex and love the sensations and feelings so I don't think its physical. My mind is at rest, I'm in the zone and love the pleasure and doing the pleasuring sex also and i don't believe its psychological.

7 Responses
209987 tn?1451935465
There are many men in your situation.
Some believe that it's because men spend a good part of their lives masturbating, and some believe that it's because  YOU know what makes YOU feel good, and YOU know where to touch etc...I believe this latter part to be true.
As long as it doesn't bother or offend your GF then go for it...but if it starts to bother her, maybe you could bring her to orgasm and then discreetly exit to the washroom and " finish off".
You'll know, when she stops wanting to make love to you.

My husband does this, and I get angry ONLY because he makes such a big deal of it. lol
Don't do this to your GF...or you'll push her away.
1530342 tn?1405016490
Your thinking too much into it. You have to find a way to get yourself to just relax, enjoy the sex and let it flow naturally.
1828226 tn?1323565248
Does this happen all the time with other women in the past or is it just with her?

This is an important question because it will determine if this is a psychological issue, penis sensitivity issue or her interior vagina shape is not compatible with your penis.
Avatar universal
Thank you for the reply Tschock.

I think the whole YOU know YOU part is especially true, that might be it. Good thing I showed my girlfriend and we worked it out for the most part.

She doesn't mind at all, we worked it out and talked about it and resolved this. she particular LOVES it because she gets to orgasm a ton! She usually "finishes me off" in the end, I'd just like to do it a different way for a change (orally or vaginally)
Avatar universal
The thing is that I do relax MrsPincince. I just can't get to that point where I can orgasm.
Avatar universal
Thats a good question 'love_a_challenge' and i'd thought about this earlier and didn't remember if i'd answered it before or not.Here goes lol!...

I've had 3 partners before my girlfriend of 2 years now. This problem DID EXIST with the other 3 too, not just my girlfriend now.

My previous partners ranged from tight, to looser fits, from being able to take all of me, to just half way. Anal or Vaginal both also and no success on both fronts.

Thanks for responding, it means a lot to me :D
1828226 tn?1323565248
Okay, glad you clear that up...

In my opinion, it's not the shape of the vagina. It's either psychological, penis sensitivity issues or combination...

In my past I sometimes had a hard time ejaculating during sex and came to the conclusion I had penis sensitivity issues during sex. And when I masturbate, the sensation was not that great but my mind allowed me to still reach an orgasm.

With sex it's a little different than masturbation because during sex we're trying to reach ejaculation from the sensations and not with using the mind.

The reason I had those penis sensitivity issues was because I MASTURBATE too damn much and psychologically I created a specific stimulation in my mind to make me reach ejaculation. So during sex my mind could not adjust to vaginal stimulation because I was so use to the way I stimulate myself.

I decided to stay away from touching myself for a good month and the next time I had sex I felt more sensation from the vagina PLUS reach ejaculation.

I'm suggesting this MAY be your problem.
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139792 tn?1498585650
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11369760 tn?1449504372
Southwest , MI
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