Aa
sex after a long time
This is going to be several questions in one. So here's my story. I'm a 30 year old male who's a single parent of my 11 year old daughter and up until just a few weeks ago I hadn't had sex with anyone since my ex-wife who's also the mother of my child over 10 years ago. When I was dating and married and for a few years after being married I was pretty much horny all the time. On the weekends when I wasn't being woken up by an alarm clock I would wake up with a massive hard on and would have a VERY intense need to *** like you wouldn't believe. And when I was married I would want sex multiple times a day if I could get and have no problems on my end. But 10 years has passed being single and I mean completely single and now I've reconnected with a friend from my past and she and I have started a relationship and have just started having sex. I would get turned on when we started making out and feel myself getting a little hard but nothing like what I was use to and since it's been so song I really haven't known what to expect. A week ago I stayed the night with her and received a very pleasurable ********, later that night we started having sex and I was ******* her doggy style pretty hard with no problem. But we both woke up early in the morning before light and started to fool around again but I wasn't able to get hard or stay hard. I could get hard when she would suck my **** but I wouldn't stay that way if she took me out of her mouth so I couldn't get it into her *****. I know when I get my **** in her ***** I will stay hard but getting my **** to stay hard long enough to get it in is a little bit of a challenge and this just doesn't make sense for my age. I've started experimenting while I'm by myself and think I have found an improvement if I masturbate with lube like KY which is something that I'm not use to doing. Another thing I'd like to know is how hard does my **** need to get? Again, sense it's been so long I don't really know what's normal anymore because it's for the last 10 years it's just been me, my imagination, and porn for long enough to get the job done. I can get hard but it still seems like maybe my **** has a little more play in it than it should. That has been most noticeable when she has tried to do cow girl. When I am inside her there just seems to be to much flexibility and I go soft rather quick and I don't get that, when I was married my wife only rode me a few times but it was damn good and I didn't have a bit of problems in staying hard and enjoying myself to climax. I can't tell if my problems are psychological or physical. Is this more likely from years of no sexual activity and now getting together with a new partner or is this more likely a physical problem? Either way what are likely the specifics of my problem and how should I fix this? Thanks to any and all who reply.
Because of your decade away from real sex, your situation is no surprise. As you know, having sex with a partner is much different than masturbation with porn. Your body and mind will both have to adjust. With a supportive partner, you will heal. Naturally, with a new relationship, you want everything to go right, and some of that stress can make sex rather shaky at times. I recommend that you avoid masturbation and porn and enter into any sexual activities only with your partner so as to direct all your energies in that area to what is most important. Have plenty of foreplay without concentrating so much on orgasms; enjoy getting there, whether it's this time or next.
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