Can u help me please ? She Doesn't Like sex with me

[Flym123]

sorry for my english...  . i have a wife about 4 years. we don't have sex often. i mean 3 - 4 in a month maybe . i think she doesn't enjoys it . She's telling me that shes enjoying with cunilingus but she never asks for it. i mean she will never be initiator of sex or cunilingus. we have a baby 1  years old. she was not enjoying of sex even from beginning. she wants only when i am on TOP . she hurts when she is on top on Kneeling or in other position... i think has made abortion before we met. after abortion there happend something and it hurts ? i mean woman always hurts in sex after she made abortion? i just don't know what to do i really love her but to live without sex for me is too bad. She doesn't want to go to Gynecologist i don't know why maybe she afraid i will knew about her abortion . i am not SURE that she made abortion i just think about it . She never cums also. only once she sad that she *** . she really loves me. i have normal Dic* i mean normal size problem is not in me i think because other girls were enjoying sex with me can u give me any advice?

[Dalubaba]

Using some new technique can help to generate interest ins sex. Google kegel exercise. Learn it and practice it.  while doing intercourse surprise her by doing kegel exercise.  when you kegel movement of penis is vertical. This will give her altogether new sensation. This can create further interest in sex.Do not blame her for lack of sexual urge. Take sex lightly - not to hurt her feelings. Google 'breath to orgasm'. This is also a good technique.Wish you best of luck.

[YardBull]

It would be worth your wife going to her doctor to discuss this situation.  Having and then caring for a baby is wonderful but often is stressful to both members of a marriage.  Try to discuss this situation with her without being accusatory and blaming, bringing up your thoughts about a possible abortion to settle this suspicion in your mind once and for all, since it seems to be a large issue for you.  In the meantime, don't expect her to initiate sex and don't force the issue, but if she is agreeable, continue with oral and manual sex, at least for the time being.        

[clement4now]

Hi,

What you and your wife are experiencing is not uncommon, there are a lot of couples who deal with this same issue about lacking sexual intimacy. The good news is: both of you can work to improve your sex life, but it does take patience and time. There can be many reasons why your wife may not be aroused when she is with you, or why she lacks feeling a sexual connection with you.  Maybe she isn't comfortable enough when she's with you; maybe she's exhausted from taking care of your baby and finds it difficult to relax during sex; or maybe both of you need to spend more time getting to know each other on an intimate level? This is something that you and your wife should approach or look at with an open mind.

There is a female doctor, Dr. Debby Herbenick, who has written several books about sexual intimacy and relationships for couples.  Her books and videos teach men and women how to become more connected to each other during intimacy (sex).  You can do a search online about Dr. Herbenick's advice articles if you type in kinseyconfidential.org/dr.herbenick, or you can type 'Dr. Herbenick/sensate focusing for couples' into the search bar to find more information on this topic.  There is a lot of good advice about how to 'fix' sexual intimacy problems from Dr. Herbenick, to read about there.

Good Luck!