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Debate: is watching porn cheating?
I know everyone has their own opinions, I am curious what you guys think. Is it ok to masturbate watching porn, or is that a form of betraying your significant other? Or is it circumstancial, and up to the people in each individual relationship to decide together?
I am a woman who hates porn but only because I am very open to the idea of pleasing my husband in any way and I am not sexually shy or inhibited and his need for porn totally perplexes me, esp because the girls are all the ages of my own daughter..
You made a sincere post here, and I appreciate it.
The thing is, you've got to talk to her in a way that is non threatening about your needs, and see if she can come to the conclusion that porn might be a solution to your (mutual) problem. If she isn't okay with it, you need to come up with a solution that solves both of your problems. Otherwise, it is cheating.
You made a sincere post here, and I appreciate it.
The thing is, you've got to talk to her in a way that is non threatening about your needs, and see if she can come to the conclusion that porn might be a solution to your (mutual) problem. If she isn't okay with it, you need to come up with a solution that solves both of your problems. Otherwise, it is cheating.
Is Internet Pornography Cheating?
Internet pornography is a growing trend that has many people worried about their relationships. Is it cheating? And is it a "normal guy thing"? Here's what Dr. Phil believes:
It is not OK behavior. It is a perverse and ridiculous intrusion into your relationship. It is an insult, it is disloyal and it is cheating.
Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.
Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.
Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.
You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship.
Ask yourself or your partner:
Would you do it with your partner standing right there?
Are you turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so find out if you or your partner have a problem.
Do you justify the behavior by saying, "It's harmless," "Everyone does it," or "It's just the Internet"?
Does it intrude on your relationship?
Which is more important: pornography or your relationship?
Internet pornography is a growing trend that has many people worried about their relationships. Is it cheating? And is it a "normal guy thing"? Here's what Dr. Phil believes:
It is not OK behavior. It is a perverse and ridiculous intrusion into your relationship. It is an insult, it is disloyal and it is cheating.
Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.
Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.
Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.
You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship.
Ask yourself or your partner:
Would you do it with your partner standing right there?
Are you turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so find out if you or your partner have a problem.
Do you justify the behavior by saying, "It's harmless," "Everyone does it," or "It's just the Internet"?
Does it intrude on your relationship?
Which is more important: pornography or your relationship?
I agree with those who have said that they don't consider it cheating but believe that it's not healthy when your partner would rather masturbate to porn than have sex with their significant other. I also don't think it's very healthy to masturbate to sex every.single.day because then you'll come to associate sex with images found in porn primarily.
I've been with my partner for 7 months. I consider myself to be a pretty sexual person and am up for sex just about any time of day. I also please him orally at least once a day (because I enjoy and I know I'm good at it haha). Well, when we first started dating, he told me (without being asked at all) several times (he would just bring it up out of the blue many times) that he doesn't masturbate (i didn't really believe that part) and doesn't what porn. I told him i didn't think there was anything wrong with masturbating and told him i masturbate. i didn't have a strong opinion about porn so didn't really comment on that. He kept telling me things like, "My roommate must watch porn on my computer" (which makes no sense cause his roommate has his own computer) and "My friends are always telling me to check out certain porn videos but i don't need to watch other people have sex to get off" ....again, I was usually just like, "Ooook, whatever?" not really understanding why he would bring this up. Then i checked the history on his computer (not snooping, was looking for a site i used) and noticed porn one day. Ok, whatever. I thought he must just watch it once in a while. Then i started finding it more and more. Looking back, he would always want to stay up later than me at night, no matter how tired he was, and want to stay out in the living room to watch tv. now i know it's because he wanted to watch porn. I would sometimes find used tissues next to the computer even. One night, i was pretty much begging him to stay in the bedroom and have sex with me but he didn't... he said he wanted to finish watching something on tv. next morning, i find porn on his computer. he still denies watching porn ever, to this day. so i confronted him that night and told him i thought it was pathetic that he wanted to watch some gross chick have sex instead of having sex with me. still denied it. after that, the porn stopped showing up on his computer but i'd still find used tissues in the living room the next day. last night, i caught him browsing a porn site on his cell phone. now i'm beginning to think that he said all that stuff about not watching porn because he's actually very addicted to it. it's making me wonder what else he's lying about too. i know he's not cheating and i don't think porn is cheating, but it's the outright lying that bothers me. I could see if i had asked him outright, "do you watch porn?" and he lied then, but he would make a point of bringing it up himself quite often even though i never indicated that i thought masturbating or watching porn is wrong.
I've been with my partner for 7 months. I consider myself to be a pretty sexual person and am up for sex just about any time of day. I also please him orally at least once a day (because I enjoy and I know I'm good at it haha). Well, when we first started dating, he told me (without being asked at all) several times (he would just bring it up out of the blue many times) that he doesn't masturbate (i didn't really believe that part) and doesn't what porn. I told him i didn't think there was anything wrong with masturbating and told him i masturbate. i didn't have a strong opinion about porn so didn't really comment on that. He kept telling me things like, "My roommate must watch porn on my computer" (which makes no sense cause his roommate has his own computer) and "My friends are always telling me to check out certain porn videos but i don't need to watch other people have sex to get off" ....again, I was usually just like, "Ooook, whatever?" not really understanding why he would bring this up. Then i checked the history on his computer (not snooping, was looking for a site i used) and noticed porn one day. Ok, whatever. I thought he must just watch it once in a while. Then i started finding it more and more. Looking back, he would always want to stay up later than me at night, no matter how tired he was, and want to stay out in the living room to watch tv. now i know it's because he wanted to watch porn. I would sometimes find used tissues next to the computer even. One night, i was pretty much begging him to stay in the bedroom and have sex with me but he didn't... he said he wanted to finish watching something on tv. next morning, i find porn on his computer. he still denies watching porn ever, to this day. so i confronted him that night and told him i thought it was pathetic that he wanted to watch some gross chick have sex instead of having sex with me. still denied it. after that, the porn stopped showing up on his computer but i'd still find used tissues in the living room the next day. last night, i caught him browsing a porn site on his cell phone. now i'm beginning to think that he said all that stuff about not watching porn because he's actually very addicted to it. it's making me wonder what else he's lying about too. i know he's not cheating and i don't think porn is cheating, but it's the outright lying that bothers me. I could see if i had asked him outright, "do you watch porn?" and he lied then, but he would make a point of bringing it up himself quite often even though i never indicated that i thought masturbating or watching porn is wrong.
Finally someone with common sense! listen people cheating is having sex with another partner, having a relationship with another person, or being intimate with another partner away from the one ur in a relationship with. Porn is a videotape! You dont know them they dont know you. And if you masturbate to it..Its you doing it idc wat you people think its my body i can do wat i want to it. And all you people saying its a sin honestly get a life. 79% of people have sex b4 marridge. 12% of men hav cheated on ther wives. If its all the same to you, nowadays wer all going to hell. You only live life once. ENJOY IT!
It's been proven over and over that most actions weather good or bad originate in the mind.
As a Christian, I believe this even more so as I witness all the events going on throughout the world. Jesus said it best when He said in Matthew 5:27-32 You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Though I'm not perfect, I do my best to follow the way that will lead to peace and also help whoever my wife would be to also strive to be better and we support each other with God's love which is far beyond what any human can provide thus avoiding all the pitfalls that come with looking at porn and other addictions, weather people admit them or not.
As a Christian, I believe this even more so as I witness all the events going on throughout the world. Jesus said it best when He said in Matthew 5:27-32 You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. And every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Though I'm not perfect, I do my best to follow the way that will lead to peace and also help whoever my wife would be to also strive to be better and we support each other with God's love which is far beyond what any human can provide thus avoiding all the pitfalls that come with looking at porn and other addictions, weather people admit them or not.
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