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Still looking at porn?

I've been living with my parner now for 8 months, and our relationship has been and still is amazing, and he is there for me I can't complain, except with one thing that's really getting me down.
.I found I'm the one initiating sex, and he would say he was too tired, I found out on these nights while I was driving home from work he looked at porn, which must have been rushed! It's because he forgot to close it on my laptop I found out,,also annoyed he used it.
So I I felt really upset that I wasn't enough for him, when I would love to have sex many times in a day if we could, or once a day even, but it's become less and less and I also noticed a change that he became aggressive in the bedroom after watching porn. I asked how I can make sex better for him, but he said its amaxing, and doesn't want to change it, but it's nice to look at something different sometimes and it's just porn. I don't just see it as porn, I see it as getting off on another girl and it hurts, I know guys don't see it that way, But I said how much it hurts me, really deeply and so I made things all about him in the bedroom, and tried to be better than porn, which he said I didn't need to do. Iit knocked my self esteem and Ive started getting paranoid I'm not good enough.
There is more to this though, under lying issues as I was sexually abused as a child and I finally told him. He completly understood and promised to not look at porn again, the sex we have is way more than enough and he was sorry..
So things were good again, but I've found once again if hes ever home early, the rest of the day he won't want to have sex and be too tired he says, and for the first time I looked at his phone, just wanted to see the Internet history to see if it was porn but it was erased and on private browsing which makes me suspect porn again.
I told him it's ok if he has as it can't be easy to give up but he swears he hasn't,
I take it that he will still be looking at it? How can I make it stop? I wish it didn't affect me so much but it does, I feel worthless and like an object when he looks at it, and I know it's not his doings it's my past but ever since I found out months ago I have nightmares and think about it all day the image of him looking at porn, and it hurts me

I don't know how to get over it, or if he will have stopped. I don't want to ask if he has given it up and seem like I'm nagging but if it is continuing and he is lying about it I want out of the relationships as harsh as it sounds I can't take the pain of knowing porns being watched in my house, even if that means I'll always be alone.

Thanks for taking time to read this
2 Responses
11369760 tn?1449504372
With the way men's brains are wired, porn is extremely attractive and can become addictive, and with the Internet, it is so easily available.  Because of your past and the way you feel now, it would be good if he could give porn up completely to fully connect with that live person in his life.  The real thing should be so much better than something viewed over media.  As logical as that sounds, porn remains an easy turn-on.  He will have to be committed to stop.  If not, you will have to decide if you can stay in this relationship.  
139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
If a couple gets full body orgasm and fully satisfied, he will stop seeing porno.. To achieve a better sexual performance, there are many exercises for male and female. Few of them could be assessed from google. Male and female dear exercise. Kegel exercise useful for male and female.Various groin exercises..Pelvic floor exercises. All exercises affect pelvic flooe an pelvic floor exercises affect each muscle of the body. If both of your research as a game, not blaming each other, you may succeed in your efforts. Nagging a husband does not help. If there is a cooperative effort with a lighter mood, good harmony can be achieved and results are positive. Wish you best of luck and a new year. Dalsukh.
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139792 tn?1498585650
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11369760 tn?1449504372
Southwest , MI
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