how important is sex really?

[hazaroony]

Im curious to know how important sex is to others?

Im in a fairly new relationship with a great guy - everything is perfect - except we dont seem to have much sex. we hold hands, cuddle and kiss but no real foreplay or even sex.

I thought all guys enjoyed sex to some extent?

In my previous relationship i hardly ever wanted sex - because the boyfriend i had was a jerk and it was never appealing. Now the guy is amazing and i really wnat to show him how much he means but sex just doesnt really do it.

We can spend 4 nights together and nothing?

should i really hold sex so highly or should i be thankful the relationship is great in every other way?

Thanks

[severin76]

Yes, it is very individual, some guys enjoy sex less than others...It also depends on the fact whether he knows that you would like to make love to him, or he might think that he should not make the impression of being "obsessed with sex" (many girls are put off by it - unfortunately:)), or whether you tried to initiate it and he refused etc...
Anyway, if you are not sure, you can ask him about the reasons why he behaves so - in an direct or indirect way - e.g. having some informal discussion about sex in general, about other people, stories you have heard etc...and it can reveal more about his attitude or sexual preferences.
If you feel like having sex with him, you can initiate it as well and it can be a nice surprise for him (hopefully). However, if you feel that he refuses your sexual interest, then there is a serious problem and it shouldn´t be underestimated.
Sex plays an important part in the couple´s life - not just physically, but also emotionally.
In my case, sex is very important for me in my relationship and when there was not sexual compatibility in my previous relationships, these relationships were gradually damaged and they did not survive. But as I said, it can be individual, different people have different priorities - but for me, mutually satisfying sex life is one of them...
Good luck!

[iam1butterfly]

It's subjective, really. For myself... Sex is more important to me now, at the age of 54, than it was when I was in my 20s and 30s. I attribute this to biological, hormonal changes that have sent my libido sky high. And, having comfort in knowing that, being past my childbearing years, the possibility of pregnancy is non-existent. In short... I feel freer to enjoy Sex. But, Sex is only "one" component; it is not the "only" component in the totality of a relationship. Enjoy the wonderment and the amazement of your relationship... and be patient about the frequency of Sex.

[mamabalas]

Sex is so very personal.  Talk to him about it.  This can be a huge issue though.  It is one of the things that lead to my divorce. If you initiate sex, does he respond and enjoy?  Or does he blow it off and seem uninterested?   If you need it a lot, and he doesn't really care that is gonna be a big problem in the future.  Right now you are dating to find out if the two of you are compatable for eachother.  You have become sexually active, so you need to find out if you are compatable here as well.  If not talk about it and see what you can do.  Good luck to you!