i think i have a problem

[haole1991]

I have had a masturbation problem for some years now, i think it started when i was 10 when i first could ejaculate. i am 22 now and i have a wife, a son, and another on the way. As soon as we found out about the new baby my wife would not have sex with me. when did have sex i would go a few days with out masturbating but then i would start again. I looked online and some site described what i have as a sex addiction. Anyways, we stopped having sex and i started chronically masturbating. its been about two months now and i have been doing it every day some times 2 to 3 times. i do it at work to. i have also had a problem with porn to. I have even gone far enough to start anal masturbation along with the normal kind but i know for a fact that im not homosexual. if there is any help anybody could give me please do i need to stop this

[jemma116]

I agree with Bhupinder Kaur, MD, about masturbating only when you have a sexual desire.  

There was a programme on UK TV not long ago that a man who masturbated excessively got problems with his wrists due to repetitive use.

Elschmer too has given you some good advice.

Unless your wife has been advised by the medical profession not to have penetrative sex because of a problem with the pregnancy there is no reason why your wife should not have sex with you.

Make sure that you give her the hugs and kisses and plenty of foreplay to arouse her and use the appropriate lubricating gels if this is needed.  If you are the type of person that jumps on and off without giving her any thought or making sure that she has a pleasurable lovemaking experience, then perhaps that could be what is turning her off.
I quite understand that she will not be wanting to be making love and having sex umpteen times during the day and night.  It seems that you have more sex drive than your wife and you may need to reach a compromise.

With regard to help with stopping masturbating, you could see your doctor who could refer you to a sex counsellor or to a psychologist to find out the reason why you are doing this even though, you say, you want to stop.  Is that because you have been doing it for so long that it has become a habit through boredom?  It seems that you do not have other things to occupy your mind with.  Perhaps joining a gym or going for a walk or doing some other physical activity to get you mind off the masturbation may help.  If you have an urge to masturbate, rather than indulge for the sake of it, go for a walk or a jog.

Best wishes.

[Elschmer]

Frequency of masturbation is only a problem and considered an addiction if it interferes with your normal day to day functioning or you feel it to be emotionally or psychologically detrimental. A couple of times a day can be normal if that person enjoys it and does it because they want to rather than feel obsessed or compelled to do so. Once a month is also normal. There is no guideline as its a very individualised thing. Where and when doesn't matter either unless its illegal or inappropriate.
Many men find anal stimulation pleasurable due to the prostate being massaged and this has nothing to do with homosexuality. So long as you are safe and don't use dangerous foreign objects it's fine.
Have you asked your wife why she doesn't want to have sex whilst pregnant? Sometimes women can feel really unsexy when pregnant and it may help if you let her know you still find her desirable.
Many women find their sex drive increases during pregnancy and the increased blood flow to the pelvic and genital area can make it more pleasurable. In fact the time of life that most sexual experimentation takes place for women is between the first and third trimester of pregnancy.
Pregnancy is an important time for the couple to bond and strengthen their relationship. It kind of makes up for the decreased drive after giving birth due to injury, tiredness or being busy with the baby.
Some women just don't feel like it and its important to find out if she fits this category or has a particular issue. If she is worried it will hurt the baby then you can assure her that unless she has a complication this is not the case. Go with her to see her obstetrician and help her discuss her fears with them if she is worried. The baby is well protected by the placenta and amniotic fluid so will not be harmed. The mucous plug within her cervix prevent bacteria and sperm alike from entering the uterus. In fact, not only is sex during pregnancy normal, the baby has been shown to benefit from a healthy and positive sex life of its mother. Everything the mother feels hormone and endorphin wise is passed through to the baby. Orgasm will not hurt the baby either.

[Bhupinder Kaur, MD]

Hello,
There is no fixed rule that you should masturbate only up to some times per day or week.
It depends upon individual capacity. As the age advances sexual urge decreases and frequency of masturbation or having sex decreases. At a younger age people usually have more sex drive and their frequency of masturbation  is  maximum. You can indulge in this activity as long as it is pleasurable and you have the drive for it. It shouldn’t cause any pain or discomfort. Semen quantity usually will be low if you do repeatedly  without an interval and without any sex drive . This might result in the trauma to the tissue due to friction and blood in the semen. Just don’t repeat the act just for the sake of doing without any sexual drive.

It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your doctor. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care and please do keep me posted on how you are doing.