trouble in bed

[bklyn0630]

i'm having major problems in bed with my boyfriend of 10 years.  we have sex just about every night.  he doesn't last longer then 6 minutes.  its like clockwork. it doesn't matter if he starts off slow and works his way up or if its a wam bam thank you mam.  he has stopped pleasing me.  sex is all for him. i spend so much time "pleasing" him and he does nothing for me.  he won't kiss me, which really bothers me. i've tried talking to him about it and he says that he doesn't like it anymore.  i need it.  i'm feeling really frustrated because it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me.  but then the next morning he'll make a quick comment about how he put it down on me.  

we have gone through so much...breaking up, him cheating, fighting all the time.  now, we are doing good but the sex isn't there.  he wants it every night.  i turn him on doing other things and during sex.  

i'm starting not to want it.  sometimes i'll use my toy before he comes in the room so when we do have sex, i'll finish first but thats cause i'm cheating.  i want him to make me feel that way all on his own like he use to.

is it possible to get that spark back like we had in the beginning?  i'm only 27 and he is 33.  but we have been together 10 years.  

when i try talking to him, he just says nothing is good enough for me ,or he will start walking away saying he doesn't wanna talk about it.

[Craigers]

I am a male and in a relationship my self.  My honest opinion, and this is just coming form me.  The best thing you can do is one get some counceling for the two of you, only if he augrees and wants to get some help.  Someone the two of you can agree upon of equal value.  It would be a start.  Secondly, and this I have gotten myself form some counceling of many years is to sit down and the two of you to take a piece of paper and draw a line write diwn the middle.  On one side wire pro's the other cons.  Then write all the pro's you think are good and then the bad (cons) of what you think of each other.  Then share your answers with each other.  Then decide if continuing the relationship is worth the effort mutually.  Your partner not wanting to please you and only pleasing himslef is merely self centered.  That is the honest truth.  Think about it.  Being in a relationship is about trust honesty and loyalty.  And then the part of not wanting to kiss you is even worse.  That my friend is not even love at all.  Think about the relationship your in now and think is it really worth saving the relationship just because he just wants to please himself.

Craigers

[CurleyGirl7]

You should test to see if he really wants you there. Pack a bag and leave for the weekend and don't tell him that you're leaving or where you're going. If he calls you (not calling to yell at you) within the first day you're away, he really misses you and you can work things out. If he doesn't call you or calls to yell at you, then your relationship is in trouble.
You need to tell him that you're trying to keep the relationship going, and that if he's not willing to work on it with you, you don't want to stay with someone who is non verbal.
Relationships are about communication of BOTH people envolved. If one person isn't willing to communicate, the relationship will suffer.