Aa
Spouse Masturbating!
Maybe someone can help me. I'm more confused than anything. I'm 40 years old as is my wife. We've been married and together for 22 years. She has hit her Sexual Peak tenfold. We're both Professionals but she has elected to be a stay at home Mom and she says she's so happy and she is very in love with me an no one else. My wife and I up until last year when her Libido changed had sex maybe once a week and I wanted it all the time and now the roles have changed.
My question is should I be worried I'm not doing enough. She has really come out of her shell sexually. We had sex yesterday in the shower. Good Sex and I could'nt orgasm and she said neither could she. I went to fix dinner only to come back to find out she was in the bathroom masturbating. I've caught her several times and I confront her and tell her it makes me feel inadequate but she assures me it has nothing to do with that, that she's very, very happy with our sex life. I've also caught her looking at porn and masturbating. I want to embrace this part of our lives because I hear it will not last long but am I being shallow and insecure telling her it hurts me? I dn't mind her doing it with me but there is something about it being secretive.does it everyday. I don't want to be a hippocrite because I masturbate too but do I have anything to worry about here? Does anyone think she's about ready to step out? We had an arguement about it awhile back and I offered to leave for awhile and she threatened me with suicide if I left her. I love her but I just feel betrayed when we have sex and then she masturbates without me when I'm right there. Somebody help me. Do I have a problem or should I embrace it?
My question is should I be worried I'm not doing enough. She has really come out of her shell sexually. We had sex yesterday in the shower. Good Sex and I could'nt orgasm and she said neither could she. I went to fix dinner only to come back to find out she was in the bathroom masturbating. I've caught her several times and I confront her and tell her it makes me feel inadequate but she assures me it has nothing to do with that, that she's very, very happy with our sex life. I've also caught her looking at porn and masturbating. I want to embrace this part of our lives because I hear it will not last long but am I being shallow and insecure telling her it hurts me? I dn't mind her doing it with me but there is something about it being secretive.does it everyday. I don't want to be a hippocrite because I masturbate too but do I have anything to worry about here? Does anyone think she's about ready to step out? We had an arguement about it awhile back and I offered to leave for awhile and she threatened me with suicide if I left her. I love her but I just feel betrayed when we have sex and then she masturbates without me when I'm right there. Somebody help me. Do I have a problem or should I embrace it?
i think that shes just pleasuring herself if she says your sex life is great than you have no choice but to believe her maybe she is as happy as she tells you. many people masturbate after or before sex. sometime sex does not always for fill all the needs
myenzoorka is correct 100% I love when my wife sees me or I catch her then we join each other. You know what they say don't worry be happy then join in
Your overreacting.Your wife is just enjoying feelings that may have been suppressed for a while,I'm 48 and going through the same thing,embrace it and let your wife enjoy what she's doing,she's not going to leave you.You'll find part of the reason she is masturbating is because she doesn't want to wear you out,porn is fine as long as it doesn't become intrusive.
Denise
Denise
I think you're overreacting. You've finally got what you wanted your whole marriage! Your wife wants sex as much as you do. This is a good thing! Embrace it!
Don't feel inadequate. Didn't you masturbate in the previous 22 years when your wife wasn't all that in to sex? You didn't do it because you wanted to cheat on her, did you? Or did you do it because you were horny and wanted to get off. Relax.
All you can do is trust her and take her at her word. If she says she loves you, is happy with your sex life, and is not unsatisfied in any way... I have to assume that after 22 years of marriage she's telling the truth.
Perhaps theres more you could do to please her? Increase your foreplay, perofrm more oral? If her masturbation bothers you that much try incorporating her masturbation into your sex life. Maybe it'll bother you less and be more pleasuarable for her if you make it something the two of you share together on occasion. Take pleasure in giving your wife pleasure.
But realize that, just like men, she might occasionally want some private time to do her thing.
Don't feel inadequate. Didn't you masturbate in the previous 22 years when your wife wasn't all that in to sex? You didn't do it because you wanted to cheat on her, did you? Or did you do it because you were horny and wanted to get off. Relax.
All you can do is trust her and take her at her word. If she says she loves you, is happy with your sex life, and is not unsatisfied in any way... I have to assume that after 22 years of marriage she's telling the truth.
Perhaps theres more you could do to please her? Increase your foreplay, perofrm more oral? If her masturbation bothers you that much try incorporating her masturbation into your sex life. Maybe it'll bother you less and be more pleasuarable for her if you make it something the two of you share together on occasion. Take pleasure in giving your wife pleasure.
But realize that, just like men, she might occasionally want some private time to do her thing.
Ok, the fight with the suicide threat is not something I'll touch... moving to the rest of it...
You're worried about her secretly masturbating. Well, when most women want to hide something - it stays hidden. She may be secretly hoping you'll catch her and join in the fun - but maybe not. She's definitely just trying to get her pleasure. Maybe when she doesn't orgasm during sex, you can help her finish - or even just stick around for her to finish herself. Or maybe she finally has the libido to try to catch up with your masturbating (as most married men do that by themselves ad nauseum.) You should definitely embrace the new behavior - she wants YOU!! Take advantage of it while you have it. :)
You're worried about her secretly masturbating. Well, when most women want to hide something - it stays hidden. She may be secretly hoping you'll catch her and join in the fun - but maybe not. She's definitely just trying to get her pleasure. Maybe when she doesn't orgasm during sex, you can help her finish - or even just stick around for her to finish herself. Or maybe she finally has the libido to try to catch up with your masturbating (as most married men do that by themselves ad nauseum.) You should definitely embrace the new behavior - she wants YOU!! Take advantage of it while you have it. :)
I think that you may be over-reacting and interpreting it as some form of rejection.
See it for what it obviously is... a woman with a healthy libido who needs her own private time and space to explore her sexuality.
See it for what it obviously is... a woman with a healthy libido who needs her own private time and space to explore her sexuality.
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