Aa
wife doesn't pursue
does anyone have this problem? If I do not initiate sex, I will get nothing. And even with that I am lucky to have sx about 1 time a week. When we have sex, her toes curl so I know I am doing it right so I don't understand. She won't flirt, no nooners, nothing exciting. I am a little overweight so I wonder if that is it. Sometimes I feel I just need to find it other places to give myself some excitment....
Give me a break, men and women are equally mental about these things. There are plenty of men - as evidenced on this forum - who are deeply troubled about pleasing their mates. I know as many nearly frigid guys as gals and about the same number of nympho's (although I wish I had known more nympho women while single!).
We all want to be pursued, isn't one of the greatest human needs to be validated? Heck, my wife wasn't a big initiator but I decided that I loved her regardless and decided to work hard on that side of our life. It's been a success. No, she's not jumpin' me when I get in the door but then again that expectation is unrealistic when you have three little ones around. It's unrealistic in any event.
We have friends who recently separated and sex was a big reason. She never seemed to want it and that's all he ever thought about - to the point of distraction. He used to talk to her about it but she never quite caught on to what he was saying. But he never "did" anything other than talk to her about what he was unhappy with. He'd tell me that he was upset because she didn't orgasm during intercourse.
I'd say, "well maybe she's not stimulated that way, do you understand that the majority of women can't orgasm vaginally?"
Nope.
"Do you work on your oral sex technique and let her reach orgasm before you?"
"I'm not big on giving oral sex."
"Ever thought about a vibrator or toys?"
She probably wouldn't like that."
"Have you asked?"
"Nope."
"Good luck fella."
We're all out there complaining about each other and hardly anyone is really telling the other person the truth. What's it cost you to say what's on your mind to your supposed life partner and little smoochee-poo?
I figure if I can't say something to my wife about what I want then maybe we're not the match that I was looking for when I got married. She now thinks I'm nuts but it certainly keeps the bedroom interesting.....
We all want to be pursued, isn't one of the greatest human needs to be validated? Heck, my wife wasn't a big initiator but I decided that I loved her regardless and decided to work hard on that side of our life. It's been a success. No, she's not jumpin' me when I get in the door but then again that expectation is unrealistic when you have three little ones around. It's unrealistic in any event.
We have friends who recently separated and sex was a big reason. She never seemed to want it and that's all he ever thought about - to the point of distraction. He used to talk to her about it but she never quite caught on to what he was saying. But he never "did" anything other than talk to her about what he was unhappy with. He'd tell me that he was upset because she didn't orgasm during intercourse.
I'd say, "well maybe she's not stimulated that way, do you understand that the majority of women can't orgasm vaginally?"
Nope.
"Do you work on your oral sex technique and let her reach orgasm before you?"
"I'm not big on giving oral sex."
"Ever thought about a vibrator or toys?"
She probably wouldn't like that."
"Have you asked?"
"Nope."
"Good luck fella."
We're all out there complaining about each other and hardly anyone is really telling the other person the truth. What's it cost you to say what's on your mind to your supposed life partner and little smoochee-poo?
I figure if I can't say something to my wife about what I want then maybe we're not the match that I was looking for when I got married. She now thinks I'm nuts but it certainly keeps the bedroom interesting.....
So SAD!!! Why is it that girls try so hard to give boys what they want and boys just don't care?! BOYS are physical and visually attracted. It's how they are. Girls are emotional and mental. If you want what the other has, quit focusing on yourself and figure out what the other needs. It isn't so hard.
I wish my own husband of 5 years would take my advice! If I don't initiate, we don't do the deed, so we literally have sex once or twice per month. Sure, we've talked about it, and he's asked me why I don't initiate. Quite simply, as a female my sex drive isn't "always on" like my husband's is. Frankly, while he complains that my lack of initiation when it comes to sex affects his self-esteem, MY self-esteem is also affected when he doesn't show me attention unless he wants to get in bed with me. It's very lonely. When he finally does "get sex" (reluctantly because he goes about it in the wrong way), it's usually just me giving him a hand job. Needless to say, our sex life isn't very fulfilling, and if I didn't know the meaning of the word "fidelity" I'd look elsewhere for the attention I crave.
Expat wife, you go, girl! I really don't get these men who think women are the pursuers. Throughout the history of mankind, men have pursued sex.
I don't get why some men have become so weird they expect women to dominate them sexually all the time. Women are not sexually dominant. Men are.
Women who happily submit to sex are a blessing. Why are some guys acting so weird that they expect to be persued for sex by a female, like, all the time? I can understand wanting the woman to persue once a in a while, on the off day, like literally twice a year.
Guys who think a woman should initiate sex every single time are off base, and making their lives miserable. because they are expecting the abnormal.
I don't get why some men have become so weird they expect women to dominate them sexually all the time. Women are not sexually dominant. Men are.
Women who happily submit to sex are a blessing. Why are some guys acting so weird that they expect to be persued for sex by a female, like, all the time? I can understand wanting the woman to persue once a in a while, on the off day, like literally twice a year.
Guys who think a woman should initiate sex every single time are off base, and making their lives miserable. because they are expecting the abnormal.
I THINK SOME PEOPLES SEX DRIVES ARE DIFFERENT. AS I AM A VERY SEXUAL PERSON, I HAVE BEEN IN A STEADY RELATIONSHIP FOR 8 YRS NOW,AND THOUGH HE REFUSES ME AT TIMES, I TALK TO HIM ABOUT US DOING IT.SO U MIGHT JUST NEED TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE A TALK WITH UR SPOUSE. SHE MIGHT JUST NEED SOME SORT OF SPICING UP IN THE RELATIONSHIP TO TURN HER ON.
SkipNBeat and Lindell are right on target. They seem to have a good understanding of the difference between men and women's minds.
Why is it that some men pursue women prior to marriage, then after the honeymoon phase is over expect their wives to pursue them? If a woman isn't going to pursue you before marrwhile you're dating, she isn't going to pursue you sexually after marriage. Most of us have to be led to that "special place". Be nice and understanding. Make her feel valued and respected. When you finally do get her in bed, pleasure her before pleasuring yourself, so she knows it's not "all about you".
Why is it that some men pursue women prior to marriage, then after the honeymoon phase is over expect their wives to pursue them? If a woman isn't going to pursue you before marrwhile you're dating, she isn't going to pursue you sexually after marriage. Most of us have to be led to that "special place". Be nice and understanding. Make her feel valued and respected. When you finally do get her in bed, pleasure her before pleasuring yourself, so she knows it's not "all about you".
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
