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139792 tn?1498589250

After preacher's let us turn to lighter subject.

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Quantity May Determine Quality When Choosing Romantic Partners

ScienceDaily (Apr. 15, 2010) — The context in which humans meet potential mates has a hidden influence on who they decide to pursue. In particular, when people have a large number of potential dating partners to select among, they respond by paying attention to different types of characteristics -- discarding attributes such as education, smoking status, and occupation in favor of physical characteristics such as height and weight.



A number of studies in recent years have looked at what happens to humans when faced with extensive choice -- too many kinds of chocolate, or too many detergents to choose from at the grocery store. Under such circumstances, consumer psychologists believe that the brain may become "overwhelmed," potentially leading to poorer quality choice or choice deferral. Psychological scientist Alison Lenton, of the University of Edinburgh, and economist Marco Francesconi, of the University of Essex, wanted to know if the same was true of mate choice, given that humans have been practicing this particular choice for millennia. "Is having too many mate options really like having too many jams?" they ask.

The study is published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

To find out how people respond to relatively limited versus extensive mate choice, Lenton and Francesconi analyzed data from 84 speed dating events, which is where people meet with a series of potential dates for three minutes each. Afterward, the men and women report their choices (a "yes" or "no" for each person). It should surprise no one that choosers generally preferred people who were taller, younger, and well-educated. Women also preferred partners who weren't too skinny, and men preferred women who weren't overweight. Beyond that, though, the attributes that speed daters paid attention to depended on how many opposite-sex speed daters attended the event.

At bigger speed dating events, with 24 or more dates, both male and female choosers were more likely to decide based on attributes that could be judged quickly, such as their dates' height, and whether they were underweight, normal weight, or overweight. At smaller events, choosers were more likely to make decisions based on attributes that take longer to identify and evaluate, such as their dates' level of education, their type of job, and whether or not the person smokes.

"Obviously, I think we look for different attributes in partners than what we look for in a chocolate, a jam or a 401(k) plan," says Lenton. "But one of the points we're trying to make in this article is it's the same brain we're carrying around. There are constraints on what our brains can do -- they're quite powerful, but they can't pay attention to everything at once." And if the brain is faced with abundant choice, even about who to go out with, it may make decisions based on what it can evaluate most quickly. As a result, this previously invisible aspect of the choice environment has the potential to determine one's romantic fate.
8 Responses
139792 tn?1498589250
This subject is akin to Candy -shop-syndrome.
Avatar universal
Good subject...thanks for sharing it.  I am going to re-read this.

So much of life seems to be bits n pieces ...darting here/there...sampling ...etc.

We wonder why there is so much shallowness????

Avatar universal
I did re-read & thought again it was an interesting topic.  Being a divergent thinker it spawned some new awareness of things such as how can being under stress be good in molding/shaping a person's character and making choices of what to do.

This article clarified that for me in thinking that when someone has less time & more to choose from that it stands to reason that what is most important (values, etc.) would be what one would latch on to (focus, etc.) to make their choice.

This article pinpoints those choices that are most important in a mate.  Some want looks/body...others want $/position...some don't know...some don't care....so forth.

I think people change over time & can grow apart, but that has nothing to do with the initial choice.
139792 tn?1498589250
There is a website named Quantum healing.They are promoting a paid program me. Their main premises is that there are two parallel exactly similar worlds. One is ideal  and very positive and the other is actual as we each perceive.
Often we have to (quantum ) jump into the virtual (ideal) world to get refresh and meet our higher self who has achieved everything we have thought to achieve it.
I do not know much about quantum jump therapy but i do have a feeling that if you go through this process we may be able to analyze our choices and results. We may even take a corrective steps.
I do not know whether i have explained what i really meant.This will really need a lot of work in reprogramming our self..
139792 tn?1498589250
I just now remembered  a book entitles Quantum Touch by Deepak Chopra. I read this book about 17yrs back.He has written about immense potential of humans and how quantum jump helps.
So one thing leads to another. Exploration is on its way - progressing.
Avatar universal
Hmmmm...will have to look into that.  If you would like to share more of what you learned, I would be interested.

455167 tn?1259261471
Hello. This addresses some basic, though complex, facets of, (and I hate this word), compatibility. So much of our reality has been reduced to "ones" and "zeroes" including intimacy and romance. I find the spiritual, as opposed to the scientific approach in such matters, to be of much greater value. Do I base my choices on net worth, or the ability to make each other laugh? Social status or common moral values? Bedroom ethics or the antiquated ideal of self sacrifice? Marriage as a legal document or the ultimate commitment? There was a time, in what seems to be a very distant past, in which folks got together by way of random circumstance rather than a checklist. Instead of disposable partners that served for a time, there was the even more antiquated idea that there were greater forces at work. And for those that are fortunate to find the latter, they have found something that the fastest supercomputer can not duplicate. They, good people, know the meaning of magic. GM
455167 tn?1259261471
An afterthought... There have been many writings in various texts as to the characteristics of a, (sorry, I'm looking at this from a male point of view but I think the ideas are applicable to both sexes), good woman, and these existed long before speed dating and a pervasive lack of discretion. A couple of these from the Bible include very simple ideals, as well as some of the greatest poetry ever written. The end of proverbs and the entire song of songs address these very ideals. GM
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