Me and my bf have been living together for about 7 months. He has a 10 year old son with 50-50 custody. I have a 10 year old daughter and 14 year old son. Which I have about 70% of the time.
At first things were great. Now his son is completely acting out. The worst part... he does it behind my bf’s back and acts like the perfect child in front of his father.
With two ten year olds they have an equal number of chores that they alternate every week. My 14 year has a set of his own due to age, size, and capability. With the 10 year olds being new to an actual chore list they made several mistakes in the beginning. (Not washing dishes correctly was a big one). My 14 year old has always been very clean and helpful with no issues. Me and my bf have set them down several times, we’ve showed them how to correctly do things, explained to them the what we expect, rewards and punishments. After the first sit down my daughter started doing her chores 100%. It’s been four months now and his son still refuses to anything asked of him.
Example.. after doing daily chores they are to sign there names on the list stating their chores are complete. They are held accountable for their list that day. His son will sign his name first. Without completing anything. His room will have clothes everywhere, the dishes will be dirty, etc... when calmly told about the things he does he begins to automatically cry. If you ask him if he knows his stuff isn’t done he’ll admit he didn’t do it.
This has become a daily routine. Among other things...
He constantly breaks my stuff on “accident” every time he’s in trouble.
He lies to me everyday.
He refuses to listen to me.
Says hateful things to my daughter when no one is around.
He locked me outside this morning on purpose.
He makes the entire family miserable because we can never do anything when he’s here because he’s always in trouble.
He plays his mom and dad back and forth constantly.
He always rolls his eyes at me and makes rude remarks under his breath.
Last week he got in trouble at school.
He fights with his mom and stepdad constantly and has admitted to purposely hurting his one year old brother.
My bf does punish him but at the same time he doesn’t. Since getting in so much trouble lately he started crying suicide.
I’m a hypnotherapist and have seen no signs of depression or self harm.
Naturally my bf feels bad and says he has “deeper issues”. We fight constantly about his disrespect, taunting, and manipulative behavior. Still my bf is really the only one he listens to so he acts like the perfect child in front of him. I hate to say it but he acts like the Good Son with his split personalities.
I’m at the end of my rope. We have tried everything with this child. He doesn’t care about punishment or rewards. We’ve recently put him in counseling and he seems to play his therapist as well! I understand he wants me gone and wants his dad to himself (typical child behavior). Still I believe there is something more! Please help!