Dad's just had a massive stroke

[washy21]

Hi

I'm terribly upset. My dad has just had a stroke. He's 72 and is currently in hospital virtually asleep full time. We know that it is caused by a blood clot stemming from Atrial Fibrillation and it has affected his left side (No vision, left arm and leg)

The doctor has painted a very bleak picture which was very devastating and right now at this moment it just seems that there is no hope.

Can anyone re-assure me that if he survives there is some hope for quality of life. It's all a bit much at the moment and the future is too much to contemplate.

Thanks

[lahinva]

My dad had  a stroke 14 months ago and the first few days they painted the same picture for him.  Although he has not gotten back to where he was prior to the stroke, he is at home with my mom and doing OK.  He still cannot walk, but he continues to improve.  It is a long road through recovery We had to have alot of fights with therapists/insurance company's/etc to get continued therapy, but is was well worth the fight.  Good luck.  If you have any question along the way, this forum is a great source for answers...

[joesi]

I doubt anyone will tell you how much he will recover. How was his general health before his stroke? Being asleep most of the time may be a good thing. It allows the brain to recover better. It may be that his doctor is keeping him asleep. It may be weeks before you really know how much damage was done.
Typically, the first 90 days after a stroke will show the best rate of recovery. The next 90 days will be a bit slower and so on until one year out. Typically after one year, the rate of recovery slows to a crawl. I'm told that the brain recovers at a 20 to 1 ratio. That is to say as an example, if you bruised your arm and it took 1 month to heal, the same insult to the brain may take 20 months. The problem is, no one can really "see" the extent of the damage from a brain stroke.
It sounds like this will be a long road for him as well as his family. Is there some hope for a quality of life if he survives? YES, there is always HOPE. His best chance for some level of recovery is with you and the rest of the family. He may need lots of rehab. Insurance will only cover so much. The majority of his rehab will be left to his family. It's usually a long road.
Please check back in often and let us know how he's doing. Ask lots of questions. Be patient, and NEVER GIVE UP!

[washy21]

Thanks for your kind words - they really help.

Dad is still sleeping mostly. I asked him a few questions today and he answered them slowly, but cohesively. He is aware of what has happened, but can hardly be bothered to speak, his eyes look empty, and seeing him a shadow of his former self is what hurts.

He was not in particularly good health prior to the stroke, but that said, he is a strong man both in mind and body. I'm hoping that he has the will to pull through. I asked him whether or not he will fight this illness and he replied 'yes'

It's a turning point in my own life. I'm seeing the world with fresh eyes after this.

Thanks again for your words

[joesi]

You got your answer from him. He wants to fight and that's a big deal but keep in mind, he will not be able to do this alone. He WILL need you... a lot. This will be a long road for him AND the family. Stay strong and when he is able, keep after him to do his rehap everyday. He wont want to but you'll need to push him, within limits.
Best of luck. Check back often and let us know how he's doing and remember, NEVER GIVE UP!

[livingpositive]

Hi, my 82 year old mother had a massive stroke 3/07, she was in a coma for 6 weeks, had many complications in the hospital, but is slowly progressing.  She has moved every inch of her body at one time or another, which gives us hope that she will not be completely paralyzed.  She is awake and looks at us, but still sleeps a lot, which we think is because her brain is still recoverying.  We spend hours with her every day, talking to her, touching and massaging her, combing her hair, playing soft music, and self-healing cd's.  My family is very holistic, so the doctors allowed us to give her, l-carnitine, GPC choline & PhosphatidylSerine (all three help the brain cells to recover from stroke). I believe with all my heart, that my mother will make a miraculous recovery.  She could have left us several times, but chose to fight.  Try not to listen to anyone giving you a time frame for recovery of 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc.  It is their body that decides how long it will take to recover, just be there, love him, educate yourself on stroke recovery, and be the son your father knows you are.

[washy21]

Thanks

My Dad was so poorly that the doctors gave him hours to live. On their advice we agreed to stop all traetment, including food and water. I've been at his bedside for 2 days.

This morning (Wed) I arrived to see him open both his eyes and respond clearly to questions. His long and short term memory seem intact and we even had a little arm wrestle (gently) for fun. As the morning unfolded it was clear that my dad was not ready to die.

The doctor rushed in to see him and something of a 'U' turn has been instigated. He is now back on water and food will be introduced. This evening my dad was showing further signs of improvement. He now opens both eyes and blinks, plus he is alert for much much longer.

In my my mind he is still going to pass away, but there is a glimmer of hope. The doctors have still told us that he is in a serious condition and that his apparent recovery do not match the scans.

[jenny11]

My dad had a stroke 4yrs. ago when he was 80. They gave us little hope for him and if did survive would be paralyzed completely on right side. When he woke up, he didn't know anything. Had a fight to get him rehab. Finally they gave it to him in hospital for 1 month. We stayed with him in hospital and learned how to try to walk him. We used a squeeze ball to strength hand, bought flash cards for alphabet, numbers and words. Worked with him full time for 15 months. He is soon to be 85 yrs. old.
He now lives alone, drives short distances, walks the mall everyday, buys his own groceries, does his own laundry and minor house keeping. He does not talk real well and has some trouble thinking what he wants to say. He cannot write or cannot read much or remember it. Everyone who knows his previous condition says he is a miracle. Don't give up hope. We have a great God.

[Nayme]

I´m writing from Argentina and your post gave me hope.  I would like to ask you if when you say that your dad "didn´t know anything" you meant for exemple to watch but not recognizing or understanding orders.
I´m terribly sad because my dad had two month ago a severe stroke on the left side of the brain. Now he is paralized on the right side and although he watch us and follow us with his eyes, he seems to be in another dimension.  He can´t understand orders and can´t smile or to show sadnnes either.  

Thank you,

[caregiver222]

Never give up hope. The life-force is a magical entity. Nor should one be overly concerned if the stroke patient seems to stare into empty space and not notice you. My sweety is nearing 103 and for almost a year after age 100 could not smile nor show facial expression for a long, long time. Her nurse said "she seems to be in another dimension", just as you said. This morning she smiled, opened her arms and gave me an ear-to-ear grin and said "I love you!|. Her physicians and her nurses all gave up completely on her at age 100 and were counting down the days until death. Tonday (knock on wood) her days are filled with laughter and smiles and she enjoys watching television untilo midnight and munching away on bananas. I communicate with her with a dry-erase board, in large block letters. She cannot respond well to verbal communications, but can read the dry-erase board, which she hold in both tiny hands and reads aloud. A lot of touching and hugging is definitely in order. If you are visiting the room you should have your hand on his wrist or shoulder. If someone visits tell them this (outside the room). Lots and lots of television. Feeding requires lots of time and energy. Instead of chemical "thickeners|, if there is a problem in swallowing, I recommend adding organic mashed potato mix to the liquid. If you want to communicate something, try to '"mime" what you want, directly in view. Do this EVERY time. If you want them to walk to the wheelchair, tap them, and let them watch you walk to the wheelchair and sit down. Don't give up! Straightening out the day-night cycle is a problem. During the day have all the lights on in the room and the shades up. If you can, taking the patient out in the sunlight every day is extremely beneficial. The day-night circadian cycle is determined by a light sensor in the back of the eye. Sometimes it can be re-set by exposure to 45 minutes of sunlight or sunlight stimulation between 6 A.M. and 9 A.M.

[hez2]

My dad also had a massive stroke, this past Tuesday October 30th. His is 53 years old. He had another one today on the right side but a different type. It is hard to be hopeful when the doctors don't seem to offer any hope. He has not been responding correctly to pain stimulus but today there was more movement in his toes and his eyes are moving back and forth while closed. It is so hard to see him this way. We were not very close growing up and it has only been in the last two years that I have come back to visit more often. I am left to make the decisions for him even though he has had a girlfriend for the past 25 years. I am hoping he will regain some type of consciousness. Right now he is on a respirator and is breathing very little on his own. I flew over early Wednesday morning and am staying in a hotel near the hospital. I do not know what to do. I feel his girlfriend is going to pressure me to take him off of life support and I don't know who will take care of him if he does show signs of improvement if she is unwilling to help him with rehab. They have no insurance and limited means. Where can I go for help?

[caregiver222]

He has had two strokes within a short period of time. This suggests to me his condition was not stabilized. As for his girlfriend pressuring to take him off life support, it is far too early to even consider such a decision. If he is on a respirator make sure that the "bubbler" is not filling his lungs with water. Many RT's have no concept of how to handle a stroke patient. At this point be hopeful. Later on down the line you can re-evaluate the situation.

[hez2]

Thank you for responding. The first stroke they think was caused by high blood pressure it was a hemorrhagic stroke. The second they think was caused when they lowered his blood pressure it was a Ischemic stroke. The first stroke is the most severe and originated in the Putamen ( a part of the basal ganglia). The second is on the right side and I've been told it controls spatial concepts. He has started to move more today and instead of only having posturing movements he has started to bring his arms up in a more normal response. He has tried to cough a couple of times and I have noticed some water which looks like condensation in the breathing tube. I will ask about the "bubbler".

[caregiver222]

The "bubbler issue" a serious one, and I have not been succcessful in dealing with it. The "bubbler" prevents the oxygen supplementation from drying out the mucosal tissues. All well and good. But the existing bubblers add too much water which condenses in the tube and invariably ends up in the lung and causes pneumonia. Talking to the RT, the hospital administrator and the physicians on duty do no good. I designed a device to add moisture, but not as much as a bubbler and you would think I was criminal because the hospital refused to allow it to be used. I later installed it in a patient's home. I am not going to be overly critical of the treatment, because these situations are very difficult to evaluate, and often involve a lot of guessing. If there is condensation in the breathing tube there is too much fluid going into his lungs. The fact he has a cough reflect is a very positive signb. Pneumonia develops in those who lack the reflex, generally due to the stroke. I am very pleased he has started to move. This is a very good indication. Encourage him to move his arms and insure that his limbs are flexed several times a day by a therapist. If he is offered a beverage it should not be placed in his hand, but he should be encouraged to "reach". Similarly, he should be allowed to extend his arms to replace the beverage on the tray, rather than this being done for him. Small pieces of banana placed in his hand serve several purposes, if he has advanced enough to handle this. They are nutritious, but they permit him to regain coordination and exercise his wrists, fingers and arms. Do not give him a "big piece". It's the journey, not the destination. Make sure the banana is ripe. Small pieces of avocado are also excellent for this purpose.  If this isn't done, then you should do this, extending all his limbs through a full range of motion. He should be removed from his bed and be sitting in a chair. It sounds like he is improving and that is great!

[hez2]

He has not yet been conscious since the stroke on Tuesday, but as soon as he is I will remember these suggestions. Thank you. I did not get to talk to the doctors today but evidently either Monday or Tuesday they want to get together with the family and discuss his progress I am afraid of what they are going to say. Today he ran a fever 100.6 but they got it down with wet wash clothes. He was not moving his eyes today but still moved his arms and toes a little.

[hez2]

Dad has still not regain any consciousness. He is swelling up and becoming less responsive to pain stimulus. We are taking him off the ventalator tonight and letting him go. It is very hard, but we are not being given any hope for him. Hope the rest of you and your families have better outcomes.

[caregiver222]

My condolances. I will say a prayer for you.

[karma24]

So sorry for the very tough situation you & yours are going through. To lose someone, only 53yrs. old, is unimaginable. I lost my dad 10/24 of this year to a massive hemorrhagic stroke, he was 68. His brain swelled & shifted to one side, he was in a coma & brain dead the next day. I feel he was over medicated.

[VelRobby]

Hello.
My dad had a massive stroke in June of 2006, he is 76 years old now(2008). We didn't know what to expect as we never even expected the stroke. Dad had just had his yearly check up shortly before this massive stroke and the doctors told him that he had the bllod pressure of a 20 year old, also all of his other tests were normal including the stress test, ekg, etc...
Then one night, Bam, massive headache which turned out to be the stroke.
Today dad is ok. Not the dad that I knew before the stroke but he is doing the best that he can under the circumstances. He has some vision loss and arm/leg problems on the left side. He describes it as feeling like you are bumping your "crazy Bone" all day, 24/7. He can no longer drive and that hurts dad deeply because he lives alone and used to love to drive. I am his daughter and I live in the apt. underneath him. God has blessed me with a very bad back so I am able to be here to take care of dad. If not for my disability my father could have died alone in his apartment. So glad for the back problems that keep me from working.
I want to wish you all the best with your family members who are ill. I also want to you that you are all in my prayers. And remember this, remember to take care of you sometimes because without you, your loved ones would be lost. They need us and we need to be healthy in order to be there for them. Also, if they are like my dad is, they want us to have some "Me" time. I am always a phone call or a few steps away from dad even when I am having my "me time"
God bless and take care,
Robby

[Jolie128]

Dear Robby and all others dealing w/ a loved one who had a stroke. My Dad is 76 had a massive stroke on 11/06/08, he is now in the rehab in the hospital, they tell me he can have another stroke at any time, and I see  w/Robby's Dad, alot of time can go by before another one hits.
    I also have a bad back, I have a morphine pump in me, but I am at that hospital all the time, have yet to miss a day. My mom died in 1997 of lung cancer, and my Dad worked till he was 74, ever since he was layed off he has been depressed, was not eating right nor taking care of himself. Then on the 6th the stroke hit, I found him on the floor, he was not there long, thank God, we got him to the hospital asap. Now some docs say he is doing well, and other say he may never eat/walk/drive/ play golf w/ my son ever again. He has a feeding tube and will come home with that. I can understand him, others can't. This past Sunday nite, he was making no sense at all, I spoke to the nurse and she said "oh he is exhausted, well his B.P. dropped and his speech was worse, he is doing a bit better from Sunday.
     I am trying to be positive, I worked in a nursing home so I do know what to do, but I do not think he will want to live like this. when I saw him in rehab, with his head down and they had him looking in a full length mirror, that just broke my heart, I can not imagine what he thought, I am scared to death he will have another stroke, I did not realize they can be years apart.Thank you all for your stories.
    Thank you all for all the info, I will update soon.
                                                   Sincerely, Jolie

[heartssing08]

My mother had a massive stroke about 3 years ago. she was just 39 when it happened. she has always had high blood pressure, and she had been hospitalized in the past because it had hit stroke level, but she finally had a massive stroke.

the first few days, she didn't know who anyone was. it had left her unable to speak, unable to swallow, she had a feeding tube in her nose, and she was paralyzed on the right side. she also ended up having to need a colostomy bag.

at first we weren't sure she'd ever make it through. it's been about 3 years since she first had her stroke.  she is in a nursing home now. she still needs round the clock care, but she knows who we are, she can swallow on her own, she is gaining small amounts of mobility in her right arm and leg but she's still not 100%. she mumbles words but she communicates with us pretty well through hand signals and other things.

she has short term memory loss, she won't remember something from yesterday. but she still has her long term memory. she still remembers things that happened almost 15 years ago.

she is taking physical and speech therapy.  the doctor's already know that she will never be 100% fully recovered. i'm not even for sure if she'll ever walk again, and i'm not for sure if she'll ever talk normally again, but i'm just glad she survived. she always seems very happy even though I know she gets frustrated because of the situation she's in, but she still never gives up.

all I can say, is that if his stroke was as bad as my mom's was, it's going to be a long time before he's well. it took my mom almost a year maybe a year and a half before was able to communicate with us. it took her about 4 or 5 months to learn how to swallow again. it's going to take time, but just have faith. that's all i had to rely on, my faith. and just pray EVERY day.

[pamy]

my sister inlaw as just had a massive stroke, they found a blood clot in her head, this stroke as affected her left side. she knows everyone talking is ok,eats good,but can not use her left side at all,about her eating it has to be mashed up , we pray that in time with alot of love and care that she will inprove, my prays are with you all.


                          pam

[trisha22]

My mom had a massive stroke at the age of 55 on Jan.13/08, it will be one year soon and little progress has been made.  She lost oxygen to her brain for 20 mins. with a heart attack that lead to the stroke.  They did not expect her to live after that and here she is still fighting.  She is on feeding tubes and a has a tracheotomy to help with breathing.  My mom is a strong and devoted Christian and when this happened it left us all torn apart as to why this would happen to her.  But God knows and we have been holding on to his promise for healing and keeping faithful for her as she would want us to be.  But it's very hard, I am very close to my mom and was pregnant at the time, she has been able to interact with my son.  She can only open her eyes and sometimes we don't know if she can see but we think she can hear us because she responds with blinks.  It is just really getting harder as the 1 year mark approaches and it's good to hear that some people take longer to recover.  I don't know what else to do at this point, i miss her dearly but don't want her to live a life on a hospital bed not knowing if she is feeling pain or can even remember us.  I do pray every day for my mom and hope that God hears us one day and does something soon!  To all those out there in the same situation my prayers are with your loved one and your family.  

[Todd557]

My mother Tess had a stroke on the day after Christmas (Friday night). It paralyzed her left side and she had the classic face drop and difficulty speaking. She was very weak and would try and communicate and then fall back asleep. Mom was doing well in an assisted living facility prior to the stroke. Arthritis was her main complaint and she needed help with meals and standing to use her walker. She had her own apartment and she liked having her independence.

Mom had a mechanical heart valve put in about 20 years ago and we knew there could be complications with blood clots as they try and keep the blood thinner than normal with medication. About a year ago she 'threw clots' as they call it into her left leg and right arm. Those were taken out quickly in the emergency unit at the hospital. Ever since then she has been weak and we knew she could have more serious problems in the future. We were prepared for an event such as this.

A few days ago they were planning to put a gastric feeding tube in her stomach but she suffered a massive stroke and the hope for recovery is little to none. She also had a clot in her left leg that the vascular doctor decided to not remove because it won't benefit her at this point.

Before the second stroke my mother asked not to be resuscitated in the event of a heart attack or respiratory failure. The reason for not resuscitating is because of the condition she would be in if she were to survive. She certainly did not want to be in a state of health like she currently is in. The difficult part in all of this is when I had to decide to let her die.

Now we are waiting for the 'death call' from the hospital. My prayers have changed in the last few days from those of 'healing' to those of 'mercy' as my mother was a believer in the Lord Jesus and she was comfortable with going home to the Lord.

My hope is that if nothing else, someone out there will read this and understand that we will all make a transition at our own time of death. That is what the scriptures say anyway. I have peace of mind believing that my mother will be in heaven soon and that is all I could ask for at this point. We had mom over for Christmas the day before the stroke and now I can see what a blessing that was for all of us. My mom will be missed but I do believe that we will all be together again some day in the future. God must have a plan for our destiny because we are His children.

So when you have a loved one who might soon pass away, please consider that they are only in transition to a better place and that keeping them alive here on earth might not be so wonderful.

My mom will enter an everlasting peace soon and although I am sad to see her go, I am happy for her 'new life' that is coming.

God Bless you and your loved ones.

- Todd -

  

[lanis3]

My mother had a stroke about a year ago, which left her with some memory loss.  She doesn't remember things like some vacations or recipes or friends names, etc.  However lately it's gotten worse.  She doesn't remember when I have visited her last or if she had eaten or what she had to eat that day.  When talking with her she stated she worked for a certain company, which I know is not true, and also says she visited a family member in the hospital recently, which again is not true.   I would like to know if this is because of the initial stroke, and should I be concerned about it?