Being youro

[PloniAlmoni]

I had a stroke about 6 weeks ago.  I'm 45 and blood pressure, cholesterol etc are fine - the only idea they had was maybe it's because I took the Pill.  I lost my ability to speak but it started coming back quickly and now it's almost OK, although I can write better than I talk.  My right arm and leg were affected, I kept dropping things and my leg was completely numb, that's also getting better on my own.

Whenever I read things about being a caregiver, I stop and think - what about when there ISN'T a caregiver, when you have to take care of
yourself?  I have teenage kids and they do help, but there are limits and they're also dealing with the stroke.  I dont know if they are scared or see an excuse to get out of work hecause they cant
understand me.  My parents died many years ago and I don't have any siblings or even first
cousins,  My distant family is fine, we keep in touch but we aren't close.  

I came home from the hospital with some intelligible speech, but with difficulty.  My leg was numb and heavy, but i could get around.  I wouldnt have said that I had cognitive issues but there were definitely some.  I was afraid to drive, but the hospital said I could. My friends brought
dinner for a few days, and for my first follow-up appointment a friend did drive me.  But since I've been home I'm really on my own, and responsible for the kids too.  

My friends will do certain things if I ask, but I see that they have their own lives and own families and when I see people trying to fob off chores from each other I realized that nobody really wants to do these things.  I'm not upset, this is reality and all of these people would have a husband, parents, siblings, in-laws etc
if something happened to them.  

I still haven't gotten started with PT and speech, and I'm supposed to do the 24-hour cardiac monitor test.  There are issues with scheduling, driving etc but the real fact is that I just can't
drag myself out to do it.  There was an idea that some of my friends who live an hour from me were going to pick me up and go for lunch, but when they realized that I would have to be driven both ways, it fell apart.  I haven't been called by anyone in several weeks, I'm just at home with my kids, trying to get them to pick up the house.  

I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it's hard.  Is there anyone else in the same situation?  How can I not have the same thing happen if I do lose my speech and nobody knows my medical history?  And how can I motivate myself to do the follow-up care?  Procrastination IS a valuable tool, at this point I'm wondering whether to wait and see if I don't need it - but I've lost the most important weeks and I also don't know that if I will be left with effects from the stroke as a result.  

And as you read this, think about your family - which I assume has issues like all families - and remember all that they have done for you in this situation.  I tell my kids that they will never be in this position, because they have each other.  

Is there anyone else who has been in this situation?

[PloniAlmoni]

That's just great - I should have a team of a speech therapist, psysiotherapist, etc to get back maximum function.  Who is supposed to find these people?  Who is going to take me to the visits?  And who is going to pay for it?  In our country you have to wait for months to get an appointment, unless you can pay privately.  Seeing that my ex hasn't paid child support in seven months, I have to get whatever is free.  And I would only be approved for a small number of visits and then I would have to appeal.  All of these appointments, appeals etc must be done in the language of the country, which I no longer speak.  (I was told to work on one language as a time, it's hard for me to make an appointment in English because I can't get the words out, but in my second language as of now I can speak only a word here or there - and it's not always the right word.).  

The assumption is that family members would help me with this - but there aren't any.  They released me from the hospital after a week, a neighbor drove me home - and I realized that I'm on my own.  I don't know if my leg is getting shaky because I'm not doing it right - they don't do any therapy in the hospital in my country, they just stabilize you and do tests to find the cause, and then you go home.  I heard later than I could have probably gone to something like a rehab hospital - but nobody told me that they even exist, never mind how to make all the calls to get a place.  I guess that social workers or somebody would help you with this - in my country there might be a social worker to work with abused children or something, but normal families are supposed to take care of these things on their own,

At this point, besides the speech, I can only walk a few feet before my leg starts to shake and the knee buckles.  It's hard to leave my bed, never mind my house.  I usually eat once a day, I'm really not hungry since the stroke and I can't keep walking all the time.  I wonder if that's part of the problem, I don't eat and drink and I get weaker and then I'm too weak to cook, etc.  Fortunately the store delivers.  My kids are angry, they scream and call me names because I don't cook and clean like I used to.  

I know this is my problem but for the first time in my life I'm giving up.  Maybe people who don't have caregivers just don't get better, or maybe I've done something so bad in my life then I'm the only one.  I was a nasty, disrespectful kid to my mother and I guess it's coming back to me.

[Dr. A. Srivastava]

Hi, I can understand your worrying concerns about post-stroke recovery. Unfortunately, rehabilitation is the only effective way to help the patient regain function to the possible extent and prevent from permanent losses. If rehabilitation program is appropriately instituted, most of the stroke patients can regain maximum functions with appropriate therapy, training and support services. For coordinated rehabilitation program a team of a neurologist, a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and a speech-language pathologist, a nutritionist work together to help you in your recovery. Therefore, I would suggest following the suggestion made by them and recovery will be although slow but most of the functions may be restored. In addition, it is essential to know that risk of stroke recurrence may be reduced such as by quitting smoking and controlling blood pressure. Hope this helps.

[PloniAlmoni]

That should have said, 'Being your own caregiver.'. I keep pressing Send too soon.  Just another effect from the stroke....