I had a stroke about 6 weeks ago. I'm 45 and blood pressure, cholesterol etc are fine - the only idea they had was maybe it's because I took the Pill. I lost my ability to speak but it started coming back quickly and now it's almost OK, although I can write better than I talk. My right arm and leg were affected, I kept dropping things and my leg was completely numb, that's also getting better on my own.
Whenever I read things about being a caregiver, I stop and think - what about when there ISN'T a caregiver, when you have to take care of
yourself? I have teenage kids and they do help, but there are limits and they're also dealing with the stroke. I dont know if they are scared or see an excuse to get out of work hecause they cant
understand me. My parents died many years ago and I don't have any siblings or even first
cousins, My distant family is fine, we keep in touch but we aren't close.
I came home from the hospital with some intelligible speech, but with difficulty. My leg was numb and heavy, but i could get around. I wouldnt have said that I had cognitive issues but there were definitely some. I was afraid to drive, but the hospital said I could. My friends brought
dinner for a few days, and for my first follow-up appointment a friend did drive me. But since I've been home I'm really on my own, and responsible for the kids too.
My friends will do certain things if I ask, but I see that they have their own lives and own families and when I see people trying to fob off chores from each other I realized that nobody really wants to do these things. I'm not upset, this is reality and all of these people would have a husband, parents, siblings, in-laws etc
if something happened to them.
I still haven't gotten started with PT and speech, and I'm supposed to do the 24-hour cardiac monitor test. There are issues with scheduling, driving etc but the real fact is that I just can't
drag myself out to do it. There was an idea that some of my friends who live an hour from me were going to pick me up and go for lunch, but when they realized that I would have to be driven both ways, it fell apart. I haven't been called by anyone in several weeks, I'm just at home with my kids, trying to get them to pick up the house.
I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it's hard. Is there anyone else in the same situation? How can I not have the same thing happen if I do lose my speech and nobody knows my medical history? And how can I motivate myself to do the follow-up care? Procrastination IS a valuable tool, at this point I'm wondering whether to wait and see if I don't need it - but I've lost the most important weeks and I also don't know that if I will be left with effects from the stroke as a result.
And as you read this, think about your family - which I assume has issues like all families - and remember all that they have done for you in this situation. I tell my kids that they will never be in this position, because they have each other.
Is there anyone else who has been in this situation?