I suffered a cerebral haemorrhage 8 years ago. With the damage that occurred, I have been told that i was "lucky" to survive. Now, at the age of 47 I wish that I had died with the stroke, or that somebody had been kind enough to turn off life support at that stage. I cannot walk easily, when walking was something that I loved, cannot use my affected arm with any sort of strength or dexterity, am chronically fatigued, have slow thinking skills, and a very poorly functioning short term memory. I have lost all the friends that I once had, can no longer work, cannot do any of the hobbies that I used to love, and have no financial, nor residential security. I am dependant on other people for virtually everything in my life, from the fact that I cannot live alone, have no confidence socially, and find it very difficult to occupy my time without the help of someone else.
For someone who was once independent and confident, and very happy, I have become introverted, depressed and lack all hope. Certainly the fact that I am younger than your mother has mant that the stroke has had a greater effect on my life than it will on hers, I have met other, older, stroke victims with similar disabilities to mine, who are not so terribly depressed, and lacking in hope as I am. But, please, listen to what the doctors tell you, and make the fairest decision for your mother, she is the one who will have to live with it, not you.
I am the sister of the person who posted this question and therefore another daughter of the woman who's condition is being described here. While I sympathize with your sense of depression now, I don't really find it very helpful to hear you suggest that we should expect the same outcome as has occurred with your case or to suggest that we should wish for death rather than recovery. I personally have a very spiritually based philosophy. Through my point of view on life I recognize that each human being possesses a spiritual base which is at the center of his/her own circumstance. If you now wish that you had died instead (which I would wager you do not feel like all of the time or you would probably have taken leave of this life some time ago)I am sorry that you have that weight of dissatisfaction in your life. You cannot imagine though that everyone in your shoes would have the same sensibilities. Many would appreciate where they stand and attempt to see the possibilities instead of dwelling overly on the lack.
I would question if you have now a spiritual base of your own. I think perhaps you have not cultivated this - I find it impossible to be hopeless when you have a spiritual center. It is my understanding that mind, that will, that spirit preceeds the physical - so that if you could uplift your spirit to higher possibilities - perhaps you would find much more hope in the heights your physical form could reach & respond from as well. I would suggest if you find you can turn your spirit around, you could turn more around of the other situations you mentioned - friends, working situation, etc - more than you could have ever imagined.
I know the fabric of which my Mother is made - she has as much potential now as she has will & spirit to embrace & put forth. It is all of our hope that she will use the same will that she utilized in raising her 7 children, virtually on her own with remarkable success & such strong vitality, to come through the challenge she now faces. I encourage her from the state of mind she now is in to reach for more - to know her inner resources and call on them to bring her to whatever level of effectiveness & liveliness that she would envision for herself and claim for herself. I would wish this for you too. You have so much more potential than your outlook suggests that you recognize now. I am wishing you great wellness and harmony - you are worthy of it and you may embrace it if you choose to. Good luck to you.
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