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Why don't the thoughts go away?
I have been having suicidal thoughts for six months and have had made two attempts in the past five months, the first time my therapist rang the police and they found me, the 2nd time a family member found me the 2nd time i was hospitalized. I still have the thoughts, i hate being like this, does anyone feel like this and does it ever go away. I do suffer from depression and post traumatic stress and i am receiving therapy for this but i still have the thoughts, does it ever go away?
I refused meds and refused meds in hospital. There didn't seem much point though as I was restrained and given intra-muscular meds until I would comply.
From my position now I think taking something short-term can be useful. In your situation I would probably look at taking something for anxiety. I think once the anxiety is better managed you will be better able to assess your options. Sometimes everything just spirals out of control too because of fatigue. Anxiety, depression, etc can be exhausting. Really exhausting.
The place you are going too would probably be the equivalent of our crisis respite care.
I used that option once but became even more unwell. I was triggered by seeing people passively taking medications and behaving almost zombie like. I couldn't deal with the rubbish food they were dishing up either. There were long-term residents there and I was appalled by the lack of good nutrition.
I'm not a very social person and I didn't really respond too well to staff saying I had to interact with people talking to their apples and tv's.
Respite can be good depending on how it is structured and how you utilize it.
Sometimes it seems as though people, therapists, etc, don't really think. Not all suicidal people want too or can keep themselves safe. One has to feel in control (to a degree) to be able to access or initiate interventions.
It's an effort because emotionally you're not well contained.
Many people often appear more competent than they actually are and that can be a problem. Also some people seem quite insightful regarding some things and that can also work against them.
A staff member at the out-patient clinic I was going to for therapy told my therapist that I was well because I said hello to him. Does that even follow? I'm not typically a rude person and will acknowledge someone and hold a door open for them. That doesn't mean I am well though.
It's hard for a lot of people to have to deal with the consequences of mental illness and seemingly ill qualified and experienced staff.
I don't currently have a T. My last one left nearly two years ago. I am still waiting for a new one (who can treat me). I have been approved for an independent psych assessment some time. Hopefully the waiting list won't be too long.
I have learned a lot about myself through adversity and also by talking to experts on these forums. The doctor on the mental health expert forum is really good if you ever need advice.
No problem. Take care and if you do go away make sure you take advantage of what is being offered. Talk to the staff about thoughts, feelings and issues if need be. A break is sometimes better than anything. Relax and enjoy it.
From my position now I think taking something short-term can be useful. In your situation I would probably look at taking something for anxiety. I think once the anxiety is better managed you will be better able to assess your options. Sometimes everything just spirals out of control too because of fatigue. Anxiety, depression, etc can be exhausting. Really exhausting.
The place you are going too would probably be the equivalent of our crisis respite care.
I used that option once but became even more unwell. I was triggered by seeing people passively taking medications and behaving almost zombie like. I couldn't deal with the rubbish food they were dishing up either. There were long-term residents there and I was appalled by the lack of good nutrition.
I'm not a very social person and I didn't really respond too well to staff saying I had to interact with people talking to their apples and tv's.
Respite can be good depending on how it is structured and how you utilize it.
Sometimes it seems as though people, therapists, etc, don't really think. Not all suicidal people want too or can keep themselves safe. One has to feel in control (to a degree) to be able to access or initiate interventions.
It's an effort because emotionally you're not well contained.
Many people often appear more competent than they actually are and that can be a problem. Also some people seem quite insightful regarding some things and that can also work against them.
A staff member at the out-patient clinic I was going to for therapy told my therapist that I was well because I said hello to him. Does that even follow? I'm not typically a rude person and will acknowledge someone and hold a door open for them. That doesn't mean I am well though.
It's hard for a lot of people to have to deal with the consequences of mental illness and seemingly ill qualified and experienced staff.
I don't currently have a T. My last one left nearly two years ago. I am still waiting for a new one (who can treat me). I have been approved for an independent psych assessment some time. Hopefully the waiting list won't be too long.
I have learned a lot about myself through adversity and also by talking to experts on these forums. The doctor on the mental health expert forum is really good if you ever need advice.
No problem. Take care and if you do go away make sure you take advantage of what is being offered. Talk to the staff about thoughts, feelings and issues if need be. A break is sometimes better than anything. Relax and enjoy it.
I get what you mean about the not communicating very well i have trouble telling them how i feel and when i think i have said enough i feel like they are not taking me seriously. You sound a bit like me i won't take medication either and i struggle to talk about issuses in my life. I was talking to a professional today who my therapist got involved after my first attempt, i was also assessed by a pyscharist who said i was suffering from major depressive disorder and post traumatic stress, but also for 16 years i have had anxiety and panic attacks and argraphobia. He prescribed medication but i refused i even refused it in hospital. They are planning for me to go away for a few days to get a break not a hospital but it is staffed by nurses but i would be free to leave when i wanted. I rang my therapist to tell him i was anxious about going it is so open there if i wanted i can leave when i want i told him that and asked me how would i keep myself safe but how am i supposed to know. It is hard to get help for this its two months since i was in hospital and i have struggled, i wonder is it because on the outside i look ok, i dress well and behave well but on the inside i am falling apart. This was mentioned to me once that i came across as ok and they are supposed to be experts. I will look into what you have said about an on line course and its really good to know i am not alone in how i feel about this I think it is terrible that you had to do it all on your own, do you have a therapist, you seem to have done really well. Thankyou for your help.
I guess people just don't get how our minds work. But then I think we also play a part in that we don't communicate or communicate our intentions very clearly.
I think that you should discuss what is going on in your mind with someone. Sometimes it's easier for me to say that someone told me to tell you ... It's not that skillful but it gets the information out there. And I don't have to own it.
Tell them that you don't trust yourself and you feel you could plan, etc if you feel bad.
I definitely get where you're coming from. What triggered what was perhaps my worst episode ever was people not listening and understanding and perhaps even people minimizing what I was experiencing. I was so angry I went from being severely suicidal to severely homicidal. I had to deal with this and work through this all on my own. It was hard and it hurt a lot to know that nobody cared or cared enough to help me. People with mental health issues are often pitied and sympathized with but I didn't get anything. I was just made to feel like a freak and to feel even more helpless and hopeless. It felt extremely rejecting.
I refused to take meds and I found talking about my thoughts and feelings difficult.
What you say almost seems to fit for complex-ptsd and bpd.
Have you looked at perhaps doing an on-line dbt course? It could be useful. To build and reinforce skills if nothing else.
I think that you should discuss what is going on in your mind with someone. Sometimes it's easier for me to say that someone told me to tell you ... It's not that skillful but it gets the information out there. And I don't have to own it.
Tell them that you don't trust yourself and you feel you could plan, etc if you feel bad.
I definitely get where you're coming from. What triggered what was perhaps my worst episode ever was people not listening and understanding and perhaps even people minimizing what I was experiencing. I was so angry I went from being severely suicidal to severely homicidal. I had to deal with this and work through this all on my own. It was hard and it hurt a lot to know that nobody cared or cared enough to help me. People with mental health issues are often pitied and sympathized with but I didn't get anything. I was just made to feel like a freak and to feel even more helpless and hopeless. It felt extremely rejecting.
I refused to take meds and I found talking about my thoughts and feelings difficult.
What you say almost seems to fit for complex-ptsd and bpd.
Have you looked at perhaps doing an on-line dbt course? It could be useful. To build and reinforce skills if nothing else.
Hi, i totally agree, the first time i attempted suicide i rang my therapist before it and told him he was very dismissive and asked me to come and see him the next day and stuff i was so angry i was at my lowest point but no-one seemed to listen so i thought enough is enough so i rang him back and left a message and i drove away before he could call me back he sent the police after me they found me. The second time i told no-one but my partner rang the police when i had been away over an hour because he knew how i was feeling anyway my cousin found me this time, and this time my therapist advised me to go to hospital for a while i went for two days and i hated it so i lied my way out of there telling them i was ok, it would be so easy for me to kill myself i tell them when i feel really bad and there like just think of your family. This weekend i am going to a place for a break it is a place for people with mental health issuses but the thing is its in another town from where i live and i can leave when i want so if i wanted i could plan to do something then, don't they see this, i know they want me to think they trust me but i don't trust me.
My therapist is good but i think he is frustrated with me as i won't take medication and i am relunctant to talk about what bothers me i have so many issues as well i was assautled last year and the police have been a nightmare about the whole thing putting the blame on me i feel so let down by them all no wonder i want to kill myself. Its like no one cares my therapist says he cares and my family care so why don't they listen . Thanks for your input.
My therapist is good but i think he is frustrated with me as i won't take medication and i am relunctant to talk about what bothers me i have so many issues as well i was assautled last year and the police have been a nightmare about the whole thing putting the blame on me i feel so let down by them all no wonder i want to kill myself. Its like no one cares my therapist says he cares and my family care so why don't they listen . Thanks for your input.
To be honest, I don't think many people whom I have discussed suicidal thoughts, etc with actually get it. Most will either over-react or under-react.
It's a bit strange really because when I was feeling OK and not suicidal I was in hospital being threatened with ect. When I perceive my situation to be extremely dangerous no one is prepared to offer any support. During a crisis I was even told that there was nothing they could do to help. Not what you really want to hear.
You may find having your negative emotions validated helps. Being validated can make me feel heard and connected in some small way and like I don't have to deal with everything myself.
I think looking at protective factors is OK but I think it is better to work on ways to reduce the thoughts and definitely their intensity.
Try talking about your feelings then and let others know how they are affecting you.
I have been dealing with a lot for ages and I just had enough and told my GP I was planning on setting a date to kill myself. It's so frustrating that everything has to go to the extreme before people will actually listen. I think he finally did hear then but promptly went on leave for a number of weeks without leaving any contingency plan. Are people really that stupid? I just don't get how people don't understand or get it. It's seems rather basic or commonsensical.
Keep talking to those who can help and can make a difference.
I think people are more interested in feelings versus suicidal feelings so maybe look beyond the safety stuff and look at what is driving those thoughts. People seem to be better able to work with feelings of desperation, or of being overwhelmed or trapped, etc.
Be honest with how you feel but also know that suicidal feelings can be a blanket emotion for so much more.
I appreciate it's hard but keep working. Once you know what's driving the thoughts you can take back some control.
It's a bit strange really because when I was feeling OK and not suicidal I was in hospital being threatened with ect. When I perceive my situation to be extremely dangerous no one is prepared to offer any support. During a crisis I was even told that there was nothing they could do to help. Not what you really want to hear.
You may find having your negative emotions validated helps. Being validated can make me feel heard and connected in some small way and like I don't have to deal with everything myself.
I think looking at protective factors is OK but I think it is better to work on ways to reduce the thoughts and definitely their intensity.
Try talking about your feelings then and let others know how they are affecting you.
I have been dealing with a lot for ages and I just had enough and told my GP I was planning on setting a date to kill myself. It's so frustrating that everything has to go to the extreme before people will actually listen. I think he finally did hear then but promptly went on leave for a number of weeks without leaving any contingency plan. Are people really that stupid? I just don't get how people don't understand or get it. It's seems rather basic or commonsensical.
Keep talking to those who can help and can make a difference.
I think people are more interested in feelings versus suicidal feelings so maybe look beyond the safety stuff and look at what is driving those thoughts. People seem to be better able to work with feelings of desperation, or of being overwhelmed or trapped, etc.
Be honest with how you feel but also know that suicidal feelings can be a blanket emotion for so much more.
I appreciate it's hard but keep working. Once you know what's driving the thoughts you can take back some control.
Thanks, i think i know what you mean, when i am really stressed out i get the thoughts more often and then i am looking for an escape route, I try to be open to my therapist but i find it hard i do tell him i get these thoughts and he trys to get me to think of my family and how they would feel if i wasn't here. and he tries to get me to think of other escape routes that are safer. Its good to know that they do go away sometimes. I get times when i am relatively calm for a while then i feel it building again and i know that it will build and build and i will try it again, i get frustrated trying to tell people and i feel like they are not listening to me, they don't help they just talk about keeping safe, i know perhaps there isn't alot they can do except listen but i get frustrated.. Thanks
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