I was diagnosed with depression about 5 years ago. Upto that point in my life, I was quite far from anything resemblinga man with any mental illness of any kind. I was extremely confident, outgoing, succesful at work, a happy man living a happy life with his wife and kids, life was great. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere (Although my many Dr's over the last 5 yrs have suggested a particular situation that seemed to "trigger" the depression, and it does make sense) I became severely depressed. I mean severely, to the point where my own kids couldn't come up and tell me "I love you daddy" without it causing me to break down and cry, sometimes for hours. I would sometimes leave work to go home and cry. It was a mess. Since I've been taking the Pristiq (For about 2 yrs now), the crying has subsided, almost completely. I can only think of twice in the last couple of years that I have had an "episode", as I call it. However, something I've noticed is that Ifind myself wondering a lot if it would be so bad if I were dead. Now, I know this isn't exactly suicidal thoughts, but its closer to them than I've ever been, and that I care to be. I have actually gone as far as to sit down and write out a letter to my children. As I wrote it, I viewed it as sort of a "release" for me, letting my kids know how much daddy loves them. However, the more I've re-read it over the last couple of months, it reads eerily like a suicide note. It's honeslty not something I think I'd ever act on, frankly I don't think I have the guts (Thank god, because sometimes I feel thats the only reason I've never SERIOUSLY considered it as an option). It's one time in my life I'm actuallu glad I'm not very brave I suppose. The thing is, it still concerns me, because I wonder if it could eventually turn into something more serious. Is this something to worry about? Thanks in advance.