Drs just talk like that because they have no other explanation for our difficulties. The truth is that every woman is different. But considering that none of us are very close to menopause (which should be around age 50!) then in theory we ought to be able to still conceive. (as long as we are having regular cycles) IVF can be helpful in many situations, but not all. Me, for example, I conceive over and over but lose every pregnancy very early. We now believe there are immune causes for this, and are doing further testing and starting treatment on my next cycle.
GP's know even less than RE's. And even RE's mainly only know how to do ART's (assisted reproduction techniques). They can test for things like making sure your tubes are open, but when all their tests come back normal, they will call it "unexplained infertility". They all love to quote the odds of conceiving over 40, but you don't have to listen to that. IMHO it's a crock! Every woman with difficulty conceiving has a unique problem(s) which can (in many cases) be resolved. It takes time, patience, money, etc.
I have had a long road so far with close to 10 early pregnancy losses, but I know that I am getting closer every day. I have no intention of giving up! If I were you, I would get a referral to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and start there. But don't get discouraged if you don't get a positive result right away. It is alot harder as we get older, but it is nowhere near impossible as they would all have us believe! Hang in there and best of luck to you!
hello, I too am trying to conceive(I'm 41 , 42 in early summer)and after using all of our savings on ivf(which was unsuccessful) am back to the natural way. I also know that whatever the statistics about "older women" with next to no chance in conceiving to be untrue in alot of cases, me for one. I had our son,naturally at 39 which we will always be so greatful for, then tried for the last year and a half for a sibling, nothing happened so we went down ivf route getting into a little debt(do not advise) and exhausted our savings. so now like yourself trying to conceive again, i do take extra vitamins but clomid the fertility drug to help you ovulate, gave me cysts so cannot take this either.do you have a regular cycle? I do not, my weight is low so do not menstruate properly but know i do ovulate occasionaly as we had Alfie.I wish I had a miracle pill that we could take, all I can offer is my support and the reasurrance you're one of many going through this, my best wishes melissa(in Guildford surey)x
I'm in the same boat as you. 44 will be 45 in October. Been trying for about 2 years. All doctors (gp's) have the same attitude at our age. The reality is that they don't know what to do. They can test fsh, estradiol, etc, but what does that do. If they are out of normal range, they can't do anything to fix it... so in some respects, why test? Those hormones change all the time and quickly at our age. My fsh was 15, estradiol 10, 2 years ago. Now, fsh 4.1 and estradiol 180(something). What does all that really mean??? It means we are right where we should be at our age (perimenopausal). It is nature. Some women go through it later and some earlier, but it is nature. Biologically we were meant to have baby's as early at 13, 14... like in the old days. Just because our society has changed and we women for a variety of reasons want to have children later in like, doesn't mean our body's are going to change to accomodate that request. Very sad, but the medical community hasn't caught up to societal changes to figure out a way to fix this problem. They just don't know what to do. We all get upset when they tell us our chances of conceiving (not to mention giving birth) at our age, but that is the reality. There are things that can be done and taken to up the chances (slightly), but it is what it is right now. Nobody is sadder about this than me, but.... nothing to do but keep trying the natural way. Seems when I look at pregnancy charts of women our age, most were conceived naturally... so I just keep trying and will keep trying until I have gone 12 months with no AF to mark menopause.
Hang in there ladies and just keep moving forward, we don't have time to waste being depressed or upset about it, it won't help... just keep trying!
SSBD to all of us!!!
I just wanted to chime in and say all the ladies are spot on!
Just one more opinion here. I'm 40, will be 41 at delivery in June. We conceived this little guy naturally. After several rounds of femara, 2 IUI's, 1 IVF. We NEVER got pregnant on ANY fertility treatments. We got pregnant 4x's prior to trying treatments, lost all four prior to 6 weeks. Then, after that IVF we decided to hell with it. DH and I were sick and tired of it all consuming every moment of our lives.
RE too quoted stats. Gave me 1% chance of conceiving on our own. Even suggested donor eggs. But at the same time he was always VERY honest with me about "the unknown". Everything tested normal with us. So he was the first to admit they didn't know why I was losing them so early and so frequently. With a 1% chance of conceiving on our own, naturally, it happened for us on the first cycle after that IVF!!!
As far as other treatment... sure there is plenty you can do. I think you know the menu of options. And as someone mentioned earlier, these options can increase your success rate from, say 1 or 2%, to say 10 or 15% depending.
But the overall bottom line is, all the fertility treatment in the world will not help unless you get a good cycle. And by that, I mean there really isn't anything you can truly do to control that. You can increase your chances by increasing the number of follicles that you ovulate. But it's a numbers game. You can either let yourself get caught up in that... or you can stay positive and focused on yourself, your husband, enjoy each other, stay healthy, take on new projects and new challenges in life. Sure, you are still trying to have a baby, but my humble suggestion is- focus now more than ever on what YOU enjoy most. whatever that is, consume yourself with that... not those stupid stats.
Good luck. Can't wait to get the good news from you soon :)
Great post!! Loved it! Congrats to you on your lil 1% miracle baby ;0)
I second that what a great post! even my dr admited that you can be told all the stats in the world, you have 1% chance , your levels are so low, your reserve is so low, fertility on the downward scope-then you prove it all wrong and conceive! nobody can see what is going on 24/7 in your reproductive region-so everyone try the positive approach despite statistics and beleive in yourselves. best wishes to everyone melissaxx
Thank you for the great news! Enjoy all that comes with being pg and becoming a mommy!
God Bless You!
I'm sorry your RE is so negative.
I think I was lucky in that my RE showed me his IVF statistics for women my age and kept saying "it only takes one good egg." I am 43 and just delivered a healthy baby boy on Jan 9th, 2011. Very easy pregnancy, easy C-Sx (he was breech), and easy recovery - I did better than most younger women. He never discouraged me nor was he ever condescending.
My first IVF was a m/c of twins, second IVF didn't respond to meds, so cycle was canceled, third IVF was a success.
We will try for #2 soon. I am told I need to wait 9 months before conceiving because of the C-Sx.
A great book that I read was "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova about her struggles and triumph with fertility.
great post + very true
its like a gambling game ttc, especially so late in the game as myself.
when the yrs pass by i had to just let it go, it was very hard and still is, but at least i am at more peace with myself and doing the best to enjoy the life now with dear husband.
but still deeply hoping for the miracle and not obsessing anymore.... ; )
I just turned 43 in May, My husband and I decided we want to have another baby..He's 43 as well..We have 3 children and didn't have diffuculty conceiving but our youngest is 11 and after reading all the discouraging literature on the net about women our age I'm thinking we may have to go the IVF route as well..
We just had an appoint with our GP and she was very encouraging..she has alot of patients around my age who are preg. naturally..I told her about the statistics and she said "that's bull ****" lol..she started me on folic acid and told me to try for 3~4 mths and if we're unsuccessful she'll refer us to a fertility spec...My cousin who is 11mths younger than I also just conceived naturally and I have a friend who told me that 2 of her friends just had babies ages 44 and 46.so I'm trying to think positive..
I started taking vit.B6 which helps to balance your hormones and I read that a baby aspirin a day does wonders for preventing a MC as does a low dose progesterone cream..
Sprinkling baby dust over everybody :O)..have a great day!
Hi Sandy! I also turned 43 in May! My husband and I have 2 kids we conceived naturally. I had them at 37 and 38. After my 2nd I had my tubes tied and now regret it. We will be trying IVF this summer. I wish you the best of luck and poo on the statistics!
Any news? Hope you are pregnant now.If yes, congratulations!!!