"Just thinking loud" about pregnant at 42y/o

[April162010]

Hi everybody...I got married  4 years ago and I have been in the relationship for 6 years. Once we had everything we planned, college graduation, traveling, buying a house,getting married and then we will have 1 child only.

I am a healthy woman ( so its my husband) and I had 2 ivfs because i didnt want to be pregnant after 40 so I rush to it and they both failed. ( can not imagine how i felt!)

I didn't understand better at that time. but IVFs is 50% doctor and 50% nature. your eggs can be nice so its your donor but at the end it has to "implant "by nature..there is not help on that..nature only


I told my dh that we will try until I was 41 and thats it and he agreed.  I planned everything in life and nature took me 2 years after my plan of having family.



I got pregnat naturally  by surprise , I was not thinking about it ( no pills, no doctors, no vitamins)  10 days before turning 42y/o.
I made an appoinment with my doctor to come back on the pill and when visiting i got the surprise. Today I am 4 months pregnant with our first child.

It has not being easy, fist getting pregnant, then be careful with a miscarriage and + there is so many test because you are over 35y/o. You have to see a  genetic counselor to explain you why your baby can have a problem because of your age..this people scared the hell out of you with this numbers and stuff, they also push you to have an "amnio" which can cause a miscarriage to see if you baby has sindrome of down or trisomy 13 and 18. I though all these problems where only genetic but no!..it can happen to anybody and the risk is higher when older..who knew this?... well at least i didnt know.

If I knew better I would have stop after the 2 failed Ivf's its too many risks to have a baby at our age..its not because of a number , yes, we are 40's and we look 20's  great!..but its different with a child, you are growing older and thinking about it, your body is not the same,  my best advice for everybody is to plan your living space, your financial, who will take care of the baby if anything happens to you...or if your baby is not healthy at birth.



I am not negative about it just scare to learn so much while pregnant about the risk.

I am happy to think my baby will be healty since i pray everyday about it, i just writte this because I want you to know things that i didnt know until now and I am going through all this stress.


I have great people in my forum and moslty are betw 21 and 30's so it feels a little bit different when we get test results and all based on our age..

i wish luck to everybody , once again I am just thinking loud and it might prepare you for all the following after getting pregnant...
God bless you all!

[Futuremama2010]

I totally agree with you that its in the mindset and I have heard and know many people over 40 and also over 45 who had healthy pregnancies..thank you for your positive note.  I guess you are right that like you, I am doing this with the full knowledge that many things can go wrong...and that many things can go right as well :)  The risks starts even when you are at 34/35....

April, congratulations....Have faith and believe that everything will go well....enjoy this special time in your life!

And to all those TTC like me, sending SSBD.....

[Alexis2358]

I am 43 y/o and 20 weeks pregnant myself.    I did have the CVS test done and have confirmation that I have a healthy little boy.     My 20 week ultrasound also showed no skeletal problems, all evidence of a beautiful gift in my body.      

Maybe I had a different mindset than you when I started this journey.    I started trying at 41 and did alot of research and knew and understood all the risks, so none of the statistics or tests alarmed me.    

I was pregnant at 33 and had alot of trouble, even though I was "under" 35.   I had every problem under the sun and it affected my health the whole 9 months.     so far, 10 years later, I'm having a wonderful pregnancy and I'm healthier than I've ever been.

Age doesn't mean everything!!!     Hang in there and have faith.    There are many many many women who have beautiful healthy little babies in their 40's.