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TTC Over 40 Community
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1272624 tn?1395434357

Where are all my woman over 40?

Ok was just wondering where we all went.  I'm still trying to conceive and I'm 44....still not sure how I'm going to get PG. I have my TR date, Sept. 17th. I also called Shady Grove( thanks Mel, u know who u are!  Lol) maybe the donor shared risk program, for any of you out there, I have researched donor eggs, really crazy expensive, but Shady Grove has a program that includeds meds, donor fees, you share the donor with 2 other couples, 1 try is 14,000.00 and no refund, but 29,000.00 for 6 fresh tries and unlimited frozen and its100% back if u don't bring home a baby...Super Sticky baby Dust to All Of Us
Melanie
118 Responses
1096856 tn?1333119985
Hi There!

I'm still here, but getting frustrated..... just not ovulating.  All I seem to do is bleed and spot, but no ovulation!  I've sort of given up in my head about being able to get pg, but am continuing to track because my cycles are so wierd that I just want to keep track of what is going on.

Personally, besides the cost, I would not be willing to do donor eggs.  I guess the reality is that I don't just want A baby... I want MY baby.  I don't know, just the way I feel.  So I guess I'm pretty much out.  You hear all those stories of women just getting pregnant (many over 43) and it was a total accident, but I can't help but thinking they were probably having regular cycles and not as perimenopausal as I am.

I don't know if you've been keeping track of your cycles to see if you are still ovulating every month, but if you are, you would still have a chance of pg with your own eggs.  The program you are talking about sounds great if they reimburse you if you don't bring home a baby!  From what I know about donor eggs, it would be a pretty good chance you would be able to get pg, so if the DNA thing is fine with you... I would say go for it!!  It's expensive, but a small price to pay if you know that in paying it you will be a mother!

I wish you the best of luck!

I've been following all the ladies on here for many, many months and there just doesn't seem to be a lot of good news, so maybe everybody is just getting a bit tired of talking about it all the time with no BFP's!  I don't know, but it does seem to have gotten a bit quieter.  I guess I don't usually say to much because I feel a bit left out with no ovulation... I guess I kind of feel like there is nothing to say.  I get so depressed about it sometimes when I see everybody in the TTW and such.... I'm certainly not in the TTW very often.  I almost feel like I should spend more time in the menopausal forums, UGH!!  I hate that.  I feel like I'm way too young to be so far in the perimenopausal state!!

Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you have your baby soon!
1217293 tn?1467354344
Hi Melanie,
I am still ttc and I just turned 41 in June. I recently noticed my luteal phase is short, so I am going back on progesterone this cycle after ovulation.  I found out my thyroid was off, so I started medication to help me conceive.  I have been tying for two years and I feel like IM43 does, not ready to give up hope that my own egg will take.  Unlike many women on this site who have had several m/c, I have not been pregnant, and my dr says because of high fsh. I am taking wheat grass tablets to help with high fsh.  Also, do natural vitamins to help me conceive, but I did do several cycles of fertility meds and I have had several failed IUI's.  I am at the beginning of my cycle, and I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard.
Risa
1272624 tn?1395434357
I'm really new to all this hormonal, luteal, progesterone stuff. I really think I'm going to have my tubes untied, I'm gonna need your help with all the bbt, bd timing etc.  I really don't know how to do that. My Dr says I will be able to start trying 6 weeks after the surgery. I pray for all of you, don't give up! I almost did but all of my medhelp family have given me hope!
SSBD To All off Us
Melanie
1105753 tn?1374287348
Good luck to you. I don't know alot but if I can help, I'll be glad too. I hope everything works well for you and you are able to bring a baby home as soon as possible. SSBD to you too!
1281900 tn?1320336402
Iam still here 44 years old and ttc . I just got my test back for progestrone it was 7.4 much higher than June 3.2. I hope this is the month. DH is now taking maca root with me as well as folic acid. I am taking baby aspirin 2000 maca root 4000 calcium prenatal vitamins with include DHA/EPA. and 50 clomid. Am I missing anything?
922048 tn?1387942584
Hi ladies! I'm here, too! But in a bit of a lull with having to taking off two months. :( I am discouraged for sure. The process seems to drag out forever and there does seem to never be much good news. Luckily I am ovulating, but every pregnancy I have is a chemical pregnancy. My belief is that we are all closer than we think. The RE's know that we have issues conceiving, but since they don't know how to fix us, they slap us with the label of DOR, bad/old eggs, perimenopause, menopause, etc. (Iwas told I was in menopause two years ago and I am STILL ovulating now!)

At the end of the day, we each have some sort of hormonal imbalance which does happen more often as we get older. But it doesn't mean that it can't be rectified. One of the best ways that I have read to balance hormones is through acupuncture. Now I know how expensive it is! But it seems to really work! My acu dr had a list of her infertility patients she helped with every problem you can imagine, many with very high FSH, that all brought home their own babies.

The RE's won't even test our hormone levels. That's because they wouldn't know how to treat any imbalance any way. TCM practitioners don't need to test hormone levels per se, because what they do is going to balance everything out any way. I also changed my diet in addition to starting acupuncture. I stopped gluten, refined sugar, caffeine and dairy. In July I did acupuncture 3 times. When I had my lap last Monday, after having had endometriosis for 12 years, it was gone. They found none. Hard to say definitely what did it. But I feel pretty certain the diet and acu played a large part!

It's so easy to get discouraged in this battle, especially when it feels like hope and time are running out. But everyone's body is different. And if we keep trying different things and seeing what works for us, we can start to see some progress. And if we can be really patient, I think we all have the potential to have a positive outcome.

I believe that we all have plenty of good eggs left to be able to have a baby. I also think that the eggs, while they in their resting state in the ovary, are not old or bad or anything of the sort. I think the problem happens during folliculogenesis and ovulation itself, when the egg divides and is supposed to end up with 23 chromosomes. That process, when you have an ovary that's not functioning very well, can get messed up. But the ovary not functioning well is mainly due to two things: hormonal imbalance and inadequate blood flow. (As we've talked about before, supplements to help with blood flow include baby aspirin, fish oil, Vit E, garlic, bromelain, **** quai, royal jelly, etc.)

I was able to improve the blood flow with just a couple of those supplements, so much so that my fibroid that I had for 5 years but never felt started hurting again. So as of Monday, it's gone along with two other small ones. I will be back on the blood thinning supplements this week. The egg development process takes around 100 days, I read. So I plan to keep up the efforts for improved blood flow for that whole time.

My FSH's haven't come down yet, because I haven't been doing all of these things very long. But I KNOW that they will. Taking DHEA worked for me in the past. The blood thinning supplements worked. I just know that it took many years to get my body this out-of-shape and out-of-balance, so it will take quite a while to get it back in shape. It's hard moving ahead with no guarantees. But look, NONE of us are in menopause! No matter how perimenopausal it seems we are at times, menopause is still years away. We have to fight to salvage our remaining years of fertility. We can't just take the word of RE's who just don't know any better b/c they didn't learn about hormone balance in medical school!

Giving up is a personal decision. And I understand anyone who decides that it's time. This is a long, brutal, arduous, painful journey. When you run out of gas in the tank to go on, then you can certainly give up knowing that you fought the good fight. Anyone who can afford a donor egg and is cool with the baby being genetically someone else's, that's great. Sure saves alot of time and aggravation and heartache. We personally can't afford that option. And emotionally I would NOT be ready for it yet either. My sister offered, but she's 40 herself and not the best candidate to donate. I'm also worried about the logistics of that whole idea.

But for those of us that still have some fight left in us, we have to keep searching for what the answer is for our own bodies. Since we're all different, what works for me might not work for you. But we have to keep trying different things. I plan to keep on my gluten-free, dairy-free, low glycemic diet, do acu religiously every week, and take all of my supplements for egg quality and to improve blood flow, and TTC naturally for a couple of months until the DHEA has had its 100 days to work and then do IVF in Nov or Dec, if we're not already pregnant. That's alot to do in the next 4 months! But at the moment, I still have the drive and fight left in me. If we do IVF w/my own eggs and it fails, what will I do? I have NO idea! But I will jump off that bridge when I come to it!

You ladies are all so amazing! I want this so badly for myself and for any of you who want it! All I can do is try to encourage you to be the captain of your own team and realize that you know you body better than anyone else, including and especially your RE. They have alot of knowledge and they are good at all of their fancy ART's, but they are missing knowledge in the important area of how to get our bodies in the best shape hormonally to be able to ovulate good eggs.

I'll leave you with one last thought. This is one of the things that motivates me to keep going and reminds me to NEVER believe the old, bad egg crap. I think this came from Randone Lewis' "The Infertility Cure". She explained that an experiment was done with an older female rat that was not ovulating. One of her ovaries was transplanted into a young female rat. You'll never believe the result! The ovary started ovulating again because the young female rat had good hormone balance as would be expected.

There is nothing wrong with our eggs or ovaries! It's the hormone balance! (and blood flow figures in to all that because it is through the blood flow that the hormones move around the body and between our organs and our brains, so poor blood flow will look like hormone imbalance) Stress, exercise, and diet are all very important contributing factors that we need to strive for balance in. Try to keep the stress as low as possible, try to get some form of exercise even if it's just walking, and try to have a reasonably good diet with as little gluten, dairy, refined sugar and caffeine as possible. Do your best. If necessary, start slow and work your way up with some of these things. We have habits that we've been doing for decades now. It will take time time to change. But if we want this badly enough, we can do it. And it is worth it!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! Hang in there!

:) Sherri
922048 tn?1387942584
Sorry to write so long!! I hadn't written in a while so had alot to say apparently! Lol! :-)
1096856 tn?1333119985
You are always so inspirational!!  I love that about you and you're right... it does take time to get our bodies and ovaries back to functioning well.  Sometimes I forget that I have only been really doing this and listening to my body, charting etc for about 6 - 7 months.  That's not really that long and I only started taking the dhea, co q10, baby asprin, b6, etc about 2 months ago.  I am with you... I'm going to choose to stop feeling bad and wanting to give up and I am going to get my maca, vitex and up the dhea!  We'll see what happens with all of that over the next 3 or so months!

Thank you for your long and inspirational post!!!  SSBD!!  
1272624 tn?1395434357
Sherri,
Thank you, I wish I could write as well as you do!
All my love and Super Sticky Baby Dust To All of Us!
Many Hugs!
Melanie
922048 tn?1387942584
You guys are so sweet! I am happy if I can help motivate you! (It helps me stay motivated, too, I think!) :-) I just started my DHEA a couple of weeks ago, so I know I have 2-3 more months before I will see benefit. But I will keep taking it religiously every day!

It's hard to explain, but I just KNOW deep in my heart that I WILL be successful. I'm sure my OB and RE both think I'm delusional, but I don't care. I've read enough and seen enough result from my diet changes, supplements, acu, etc., to know that (as long as I stick with it), I will succeed. :-) And you guys all can, too! Big hugs!!!
1310814 tn?1310654901
Once again, I'm so touched and moved by your words. It brought a tear to my eye actually! Thank you again for inspiring us all.
1217293 tn?1467354344
Sherri & All,
I agree with Christine, your words do help.  I think at the beginning of the cycle I need the most support because I feel so disappointed once again.  So glad to read that others struggle with it too. AF just ended, so I feel like I have a week to rest, before ovulation and all.  I plan to enjoy this week, will still take temps and start opk around cd 8 or so. Hopefully not ovulate until cd 14.   Sending baby dust to all!

Risa
1323436 tn?1280829018
I'm still here, & by the looks of it I'm the oldest amongst us :)
At 45 I am still doing everything I possibly can to make myself as healthy as possible & give myself the best possible chance of having another baby.
I am working with a naturopath & acupunturist, whilst my last 2 cycles have been long I still believe that I will concieve, but that it will take time, at the moment I am on a break from TTC while I work with my naturopath to improve my chances.
So yeah, I'm still here lol
Avatar universal
I'm still here too. Trying every month. Should be ovulating in a few days time. Doc says my numbers are similar to a younger woman (I'm 42) like maybe late 30's so I still have hope. I don't even think donor eggs are an option in my country. Not sure but our RE has never mentioned that option.

Thanks for all the encouraging words Sherri and others. Life is exciting no matter what happens.
Avatar universal
I used to comment a few months back, but stopped because I started becoming depressed every month that would go by with nothing.  I'm 45, never been pregnant, but I keep trying.  Working on losing 10 pounds, riding my bike more, still taking numerous supplements.  Want to see an accupunturist, but haven't done so yet. I want very much to have a family, always have. I keep hoping god will open that door, but the truth is I'm very discouraged. Wishing you all the best of luck. Catherine
1272624 tn?1395434357
Hi Catherine, I know were getting up there,but that's why were here! We are here for each other, we need each other to guide us through this crazy thing called fertility!   I know collectively we can give help and  find a way in which we can achieve our primary goal....Motherhood! Although I feel guilty sometimes about already having children, I feel the pain for my DH who does not! He could leave me and find a young fertile new woman, but we are committed to each other and we are soul mates!  I am here on medhelp because I know you all know how I feel, you know how to gently nudge me in the right direction! Catherine, if there's anything WE can do for you please reach out to any one of us and we will try to help! No one should cry alone...this is what I have gotten from all of YOU! I still have a lot of questions!
All my Love,
Melanie
1217293 tn?1467354344
Catherine,
Melanie is so right, we are all here to support each other.  Not being able to conceive is so hard for all of us. Supporting each other is the only way we can find strength to keep trying.  I haven't been pregnant either, and I have always wanted to have children.  I have been trying for 2 years and it seems like forever.  I like medhelp and I am thankful for all the daily support.
Risa
Avatar universal
Melanie and Risa, thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement!  It really helps knowing you are out there. I have a friend my age who has never had kids and absolutely does not want them. I can't relate to that sentiment because I just feel a large hole in my life. Even though I have so many things to be grateful for and I am, something very important is missing.  I haven't given up, but feel those of us struggling with ttc have to be positive and not be influenced by all the negative doctors and research. I'm working on my attitude and as i said getting my body into the best shape i can. Thanks again for reaching out, Catherine
1272624 tn?1395434357
Great Big Hugs to You Catherine!
Melanie
1419915 tn?1289257100
i read your note and like others, i find it inspirational.  thank you for sharing your experience and tips to consider.  we all need to hear this as our own RE will not share these things (even if they find out from their patient) b/c of liability and maybe b/c they don't have time.
thank you... i took notes.  keep us posted.
GOOD luck! :))
1272624 tn?1395434357
I may not have all the answers but you all inspire me NOT to give up!
All my love,
Melanie
1217293 tn?1467354344
Looks like I am ovulating tomorrow, cd 13 and going in for an IUI. Then the 2ww! I am going to use my progesterone this cycle, start on Thursday. I am close to double digits in IUIs, so I am really praying this is the one that works!
Sending baby dust to all,
Risa
1272624 tn?1395434357
That's fantastic! I will be praying for you!

     I am going for my tubal reversal so I am going to need your help.  My Dh will need help, I think, so I was wondering if IUI helps with this?  I am still ovulating but I don't KNOW exactly when.
Sending Super Sticky Baby Dust To All Of Us!
Melanie
1017834 tn?1443014123
Congrats to on your TR I know you will have a better chance I did get preggo but miscarried that is mt second one 1st is when I went through ivf. I am still here trying other ways we found out that I still have 6 frozen embies in the lab where I did my ifv cycle back in 2000. My dr from there called me about a study that is of no charge so as soon as I get my blood work back to find out if every thing is ok with me getting pregnant and being able to hold it I will decide what to do. That is to try without meds on my on or go through with the study.

Baby Dust To You All!!!!!  
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